Is Sky The Limit : Episode 2

Finally back at the uni

2007-01-08T08:44:00.000+08:00

Standing at the drowned state of Johor, it was an unbelievable sight to behold, with trashes everywhere, branches and leaves laying on the ground, cars wrenched in water, upside down carts and dead cat.

Neh, well, luckily for my better part of the town, this had not happened except for the usual dead cat laying in the middle of the trunk road.

Checking around my town, it was still the same and dried that time when I returned. Inspecting closer inside my house, well, w**, more spider cobwebs..

Greed is good?

2007-01-04T15:44:00.000+08:00

What's your resolution for new year? A common question that will and most probably be asked by any of your friends or foes!

Statement no. 1 : "I want to be rich!". Well, good, what a common resolution, who wants to be poor? Ask any of the african scantilly dress, malnutrion kids laying on the sand asking for food, do they want rich? They said, "What the 'fu**' you give me money for?" Give me peace and food! The moral of the story: if you have no strength, how are you going to use the money? When you're old, enjoy to the fullest, money can't be use anywhere other than the real world. Enjoy with your love one!

Statement no. 2: "I want to get good results!". Hehe, sorry, dude, this is not genie machine who instantly and spontaneously grant you a good wish. No smart hard work without good results. For the dude, who sat on the table for 24/7 last year, get a life! Look outside the window! Well, hell no, I'm not asking you to jump outside! Look at the bright side! Oh, and hell no, I'm not asking you to play sport for 24/7. Be smart and study smart. Study is a must but don't take it for granted that looking at the page for 1 second then saying I'm smart! Well, unless you are really darn smart....

Statement no. 3: "Where are thou, pretty babes?" (For guys). or "Where are thou, handsomes?" (For girls). Well, sad to say again, unless you're Tom Cruise or Pamela Anderson, you are still sleeping inside your bedroom on top of Dumblopillow coz you ain't getting a life! Go out, pull yourself and get your confident and approach any babes or handsomes you came across. No actions = no feelings = no relationship coz they don't even know that you're exist! Introduction = new friends = interesting = 50% of getting into good relationship no matter how you looks like! Trust me, go ahead and introduce yourself to a new babe or handsome.

Eh, you got more resolutions? No problem, the earth has 365 days (pardon me, if you have more or less) and 24 hours time per day! Hope you have your good resolution and wishes everyone who is reading a very Happy New Year!

Oh, btw, I see many chinese new year banner too!

Thinking of how time fly

2007-01-01T22:14:00.000+08:00

Ohh, it's almost time for me to return and i dread to see the old housemates again, insanity can sometime creep and chill to my backbone. What on the earth am I living with? These bunch of no-no life people can sometimes make one crazy if not, insane...

Ohh, please 2007, give me a better life!

Ohh, I have to stop whining and kick these bastard asses for the new year! :)

The new 2007

2007-01-01T21:45:00.000+08:00

It's the end of 2006 and 2007 has arrived straight on time. Everywhere you go, you see "new", "new" and "new". Certain article even promised "bigger" and "larger" events, activities and scope.

Even, the blog... as he clicked on the blog, the blogger told him, "Sorry, dude, you're way out of date!" and "check out the 'new' blogger!"

He was stunned, "what the...?".

Out of frustration of the new new year, he has to log in with his gmail account and migrate his old account to the new one...

So what else is new? The new flood that flooded his uni? The new chick on the block which he has no chance and no way in getting? The new car on the street which he has no way in thinking of owning it now? or the new VAIO that he has absolutely no way in keeping it in his closet?

Everything is new in the new year of 2007 but everything has a new price too so in the end, he's just an old guy with old laptop, old nagging from parents, old bike, old house, and old friends to chat with.

What's the difference between 2006 and 2007? Yeah, the new blog and entries... that's new, of course!

Unthinkable incident...

2006-12-05T10:26:00.000+08:00

I do not know how to begin on this entry. This morning, i saw something and it reflects upon me. Conversations were spoken in Cantonese:

Old Nenek : * looking around after paying her bill *
Me : * I looked at her *

Old Nenek : * she looked at me and then to the Uncle near her *
Me : * I was still looking at her *

ON : * then she turned to the uncle * Sing sang, sing sang, um koi pong ngor chuen wah lar... um koi ar... um koi ar...
Uncle : ok ok... meh si ar poh poh...

**old granny : mr.. mr.. can you help me to translate... thank you.. thank you...
**uncle : ok ok... what is granny?

ON : Tou sin ngo bei tin than... tan hai hui yao bei fan ngo ee kor tan leh... hui yao mou man ngor lor chuen... leh pong ngor man hui ee kor sui than sai um sai bei ar...
Uncle : ok ok... tak tak...

**granny : i paid my bill just now... but she returned me back this bill... and she did not asked me for money... can you ask her whether i need to pay my water bill?
**uncle: ok ok... can... can...

Uncle : Nenek ini dia kata bagi bil elektrik tapi you takder tanya dia wang untuk bil air...
Post Office Clerk : oh, dia bagi letter air bukan bil air...

**Uncle : OOOI!! You! WTF! this poor granny here give you water bill why you don farking ask her for money?

**PO clerk : Nia ma... she give me this a letter... not farking water bill...

ok ok... just kidding... i made it up...

**Uncle : this granny here said she gave you her water bill and why you did not ask money from her?

**PO clerk : oh, she gave me cover letter... not the water bill...

Uncle : ok ok... * he turns to the poh poh *... poh poh ar... hui wah lei mou beh hui sui than... ee kor um hai sui than lei keh... lei wan har yat bin lei keh sau toi...
ON : Mou meh? ee kor um hai sui than lei kar?

**Uncle : ok ok... granny, she said you did not give her water bill... this is not water bill... can you search in your bag?

**Granny : No? this is not water bill?

Uncle : Hai lor...
ON : orh... orh... ngo wan har... * so she looked in her bag * ...ngor chau kei tak ngor ying koi you bei sui than... kai lei kai hui thim kai ngor chung yau gum thor chuen...

**Uncle : Yes...

**Granny : ok ok... i search for it... i remembered i need to pay water bill... count here count there i still blur why so much money in my hand..

* I passed by them to pay my bill next to their counter *

Uncle : ...
ON : wan tou lar... lei tai ham mai ee kor...?

**uncle : ...

**granny : i found it! Can you check if this is water bill?

Uncle : hai lar.. poh poh... lei hor yi beh hui...
ON : * she gives the water bill to the clerk and pay the money *

**uncle : yes, granny... you can pay her now.

Uncle : ok lar... poh poh..
ON ; um koi ar... um koi ar... ngor tit chai lui yau um heong... ngor you kar ki lei... ngor keh kei sing chun hou hou...

**granny : thank you... thank you... my sons and daughters not around... i need to settle this on my own... my memory still very good...

Uncle : * nod nod and smile smile *...

I am still thinking about this incident...

is sky the limit... poh poh... kei sing very good!

Taking a break...

2006-12-05T09:45:00.000+08:00

It has been another year again. I feel so lazy. Lazy in everything. I just want to eat (argh!, my personal hair stylist said, 'I noticed you'd put on weight') and sleep. This is what i am feeling right now:

oh, i feel so lazy...

I am taking a break for a while...

is sky the limit... i'll be back...

they say ITS pink if he is a virgin

2006-12-01T10:26:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, someone asked me about natural human procreation question. So to share with you all about some of sex education you can get from me. Here is the first main question:

miss z: got something to ask u... hehehe... do you agree that men have sex for lust...women have sex for love ?

me: no i don't agree... because men and women are human and... human got emotion... emotion include lust, jealousy, pervertness, happy and etc... so women and men do have sex either for lust or for love ... both too... but the ultimate objective of sex is to pro-create and multiply human population.

(Editor's note: careful, nowadays AIDS are widespread... the right way is to be is that you found yours truly!)

Now here comes the second main question:

miss z: if that's the case, why some do (sex) before marriage or why guys wear condom ?

me: i asked you one question, can you abstain from sex?
miss z: u mean deny sex ?

me: yup, deny from sex until you married.
miss z: yes.

me: Then that answer your first question. Now for the next question, guys wear condom so you won't get pregnant. Easy right? Well, the ultimate thing in wearing condom is to prevent AIDS. Practice safe.
miss z: but first question answered meh???

me: yup... when you answer yes meaning you can abstain from sex before marriage... meaning its depends on the individual... some like and some don't like... again, that depends on the individual in thinking... what if you answer no...?

(Editor's note: I do not know about today's trend and culture. But wouldn't it be nice to find yours and truly, settle down and then matter it later? My suggestion to all is don't simply just jump in. Think before you do as it involves more than one person emotionally... )

me: now i asked you back... What would you do if you had sex before marriage?
miss z: i'll feel betrayed.

me: Well it all depends * what's done is done * .. some girls who prefer after marriage then sex maybe its religion thingy, some personal principle, some are taught that (sex abstinence until marriage) should be the right way and so forth. Well, if i were you i won't felt betrayed cos you might never know the other party you are marrying is virgin or not... he says he is virgin.. you believe ar? Is there any way to detect a guy being a virgin?

miss z: got one theory to detect wor....
me: how? Tell me...

miss z: why u wan to know?
me: hahahaha i want to know lar...

miss z: u wan to check whether is it true?
me: yup.

miss z: hehehehe
me: heheheheheh... don't lar hehehehe... Tell lar... We all are big boys and big girls oredy. Nothing to be ashamed lar.

miss z: ok... they say ITS pink if he is a virgin
me: wah lau eh... who told you that?

miss z: Are you checking it now? hehehehehe...
me: mine one pink whole year long... come on lar * ini theory maciam pun boleh ar?! *... who told you that?!

miss z: stranger...
me: hahahahahahaha... i don't think so...

miss z: what theory you have then?
me: i dun have any theory to that... hahahahahaha... the only thing i know is this... if your husband is clumsy in sex.. then most probably he hasn't done before. If your husband is pro then you know lar...

miss z: poke in the wrong hole? hahahahaha...
me: poke in the wrong hole??!! hahahahaha... I think by today's world standard... any hole pun boleh... hahahahahahahahhaha...

miss z: cool! Were u clumsy?
me: eh... so private punya question ... why u want to know? Cannot tell... cannot tell... shh... shh...

A community message from Is Sky The Limit : Episode 2. Regardless of sex after or before marriage... practice safe sex and think safe. You can make a difference.

is sky the limit... practice safe and think safe... you can make a difference!

What did Yahoo! mail said to Gmail?

2006-11-30T13:54:00.000+08:00

Here is a joke that i just came out during lunch time. Yes, i got nothing to do. Here goes:

what did Yahoo! mail said to Gmail?

'mail me your GString'

what did Hotmail said to Gmail?

'i'm Hot on your GSpot'

now, laugh!

ha... ha... ha...

is sky the limit... mail me your Gstring...

This is the 200th post... and i am feeling...

2006-11-28T14:04:00.000+08:00

Hi all, this is the 200th post and i am feeling a bit like below plus with all the current situation i am now in.

is sky the limit... yikes! argh!

Julie Cheng's Wedding! Congrats!

2006-11-27T09:54:00.000+08:00

Wedding reception at Klang Executive Club... food was great! Roasted duck crispy and juicy!

Outside the dinner reception...

from top left : Eric Chiang, Chester, Chester's gf, JULIE, Imelda, Ee Lyn
from seated left : Kevin (Ruth's husband), Ruth, me, and Kerry.

is sky the limit... Julie's Wedding!

OK, you are hired...

2006-11-23T14:35:00.000+08:00

In a chat with thumbelina, one part of her conversation was regarding her friend getting a new job:

thumbelina : she just got hired...
me : wow... the interview was successful

thumbelina : this weekend need to go to her party celebration...
me : wow...

thumbelina : what to do... i am also looking for an employer...
me : dun worry, you need to open up to more opportunity... and look around...

thumbelina : but now market not so good lar...
me : its just time and temporary only... when the bull runs ... there will be a lot of bulls.

thumbelina : but i don't like bull leh...
me : what do you like then?

thumbelina : moose.
me : oooh...

Actually in this conversation, we are refering to her friend getting employed as a Mrs coming this weekend *. So Thumbelina is hoping to find her beau... she liken her beau as a moose!

*Editorial Note: There was a mistake as pointed out by Thumbelina, her friend is actually getting married in Jan, 2007. Thousand Apologies!!!

i can imagine he will be big and strong... plus powerful and having a pair of hard antlers...hahahahahahaha... oh my...

thumbelina : she is going to become Mrs X... she got employed by Mr X...
me : good for her... the interview was a success!

is sky the limit... employment market in Malaysia is still hot...

After two years of running ISTL...finally!!!

2006-11-23T12:27:00.000+08:00

After running ISTL for almost two years! two years!... someone finally used my quote that i left in her blog... kembang! kembang!... hahahaha... i deserve a bit lar (bei har min lar - give some face lar)... after two years of blogging and nearly the end of this episode one blogger, 'Lobak'soup, used my quote... oh yeah... feels good! Good!

Ok, to celebrate this, lunchtime roti kosong and air kosong my treat!!!

is sky the limit... hahahahahahahaha...

Why men are hamsup? It’s our nature… otherwise, big problem!

2006-11-22T16:45:00.000+08:00

Let me define the word hamsup before you read on.

Hamsup – An action that either men or women become arouse or excited when they see the opposite gender. In modern times, excitation can be due to the same gender too. Hamsap-ing meaning excitation of the opposite or same gender in process.

“I don’t know why you like to watch porno so much. I don’t know why you so hamsup.“

As a man, you obviously can’t stop from watching those stuffs that you think is wrong. Deny watching hamsap film is futile. We men love it very much. Ok lar, to one extend lar. So much so if a man is alone without companion(s). Unless, he is gay. Then it will be a different story altogether (brokeback mountain). Well naturally, i am a man.

Here is how I explain to her.

Me : Do you know why I got all this things to read and watch, dear?
Girlfriend then : why? Hamsup lor…

Me : No, you have to look at the overall picture. Hamsup I get to that part later.
Girlfriend then : yeah … yeah …

Me : shhh… Me being a man should not be deprive all this beautiful stuffs because it helps to relive tension and stress.
Girlfriend then : yeah… plainly you are hamsup!

Me : ahhh… you don’t get my point… as I was saying, being alone without you is unbearable… so as an alternative this replace you…
Girlfriend then : Huh…

Me : If I don’t hamsup these things… I will be going out to another girl…
Girlfriend then : You dare try! * showing her fist *

Me : That is the problem… if I don’t hamsup this things then can I hamsup you?
Girlfriend then : Go away… pervert!

Me : You should be lucky that I hamsup you!
Girlfriend then : Why?

Me : Coz, if I don’t hamsup you and these stuffs… it will be a big problem!
Girlfriend then : yeah right… the whole world will fall down… you can always go find another girl mar… * she looked down sad *

Me : That is NOT the point! You want me to hamsup guys ar?!
Girlfriend then : Hahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahaha….

Me : See… does that answer your question why I hamsup you and my stuffs?
Girlfriend then : you go hamsup guys lar… I go find a new one…

Me : Hehehehehe… that is smart of you… therefore, I am going to hamsup you from now on!
Girlfriend then : hahahahahahahahahaha… you go away! Pervert! Wolf!

Me : haahahahahhahahahahaha… oooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!

Is sky the limit… that is how I made her to be my wife! No lar, just kidding!

Do something quiet... you are watching XXX .. my god!.

2006-11-22T11:43:00.000+08:00

If my wife occupies the bedroom and do her work, I will be out in the living room watch TV, play games on my notebook or think of something to write in this blog. If whatever I do and I am very quiet, she will question me.

Wife : Low kung! What are you doing outside? Why so quiet?
Me : * playing StarCraft and headphone glue to my ears * …

Wife : Low kung!
Me : yeah?

Wife : What are you doing?
Me : playing StarCraft…

Wife : So quiet?
Me : yeah…

Wife : You are watching porno in the living room, aren’t you?
Me : no…

Wife : You must be!
Me : no…

Wife : Admit it!
Me : ok ok… yeah I am watching porno…

Wife : hehehehehe… good!
Me : *_*” ... Mana ada keadilan?

Moral of the story : Guys, if you are doing something quietly… you are watching porno…

Is sky the limit… playing StarCraft and watching porno at the same time… god must be crazy!

Parents should be beat their kids, if they do wrong...

2006-11-22T10:54:00.000+08:00

At night, my wife had a conversation with me on child control:

Wife : What is the best way to teach a kid if he’d done something wrong?
Me : Cane, slap and threaten them. Maybe throw them out of the house just to scare them.

Wife : Wah so ganas ar? Nanti the kid got side effects next time…
Me : Looked at me… do I looked like I got side effects…?

Wife : Yeah.. hamsup, pervert, bodoh… want me to go further?
Me : ok ok… I am going to sleep…

So readers, if you don’t threaten your kids, your kids will threaten you back next time, I don’t have a kid yet so here is a scenario:

Son : Pa, I need cash..
Me : Why?

Son : I need to vote for this idol… I love this idol!
Me : You gay ar! Wasting my money… Go back to your room and study!

Son : if you don’t give it to me… I… I… I…
Me : ok … what are you going to do?

Son : I’ll run away from home and… and… and…
Me : ok… and what are you going to do then?

Son : I’ll find my own money…

Ok, readers, there is a solution for this. Don’t worry.

Me : While you do that and pack your things and leave this house… I will ensure that 15 minutes you are packing… somebody is going to get a huurt real bad!... Real bad…

Hehehehehe… I got that last quote from Russell Peters on “Why you should beat your kids” segment… I like that part…

Is sky the limit… kids, please don’t go threaten your old man… somebody might get hurt…

A rebellious prefect in my early secondary years...

2006-11-22T10:28:00.000+08:00

I was a rebellious prefect in my early secondary years.

Teacher : Jangan biar saya tangkap murid yang tidak ada hantar kerja rumah…
Me : oh I am so shit…

Teacher : * started checking homework against her student attendance list for those who did not hand in theirs *
Me : * who cares… yes, I did not do my Karangan *

Teacher : Ah, ini seorang… * she called out my name *
Me : * I am so shit… I am the only one who did not submit the Karangan *

Teacher : Kamu ini seorang pengawas, kenapa tidak hantar kerja rumah?
Me : * kept quiet *

Teacher : Mana kerja rumah?
Me : Tidak ada buat…

Teacher : Kenapa tidak buat? Malas ya? Inilah contoh seorang pengawas… * The whole class just kept quiet *
Me : … * so what do you want me to do?! Go hang myself? *

Teacher : Beri alasan kepada saya kenapa tidak buat?
Me : Tidak tahu… * I walked back to my seat *

Teacher : Inilar tingkah laku seorang pengawas. Biadap!
Me : * so? Are you going to hang me? *

Teacher : Kamu tidak wajar menjadi seorang pengawas… tidak berguna, biadap, bodoh!
Me : * ok lar… I quit pengawas lor *

I still hanged on to my position as pengawas until Form 4. I quit it altogether after one blardy Singh accused me of not supporting the Lembaga Pengawas. Screwed the Lembaga Penagawas! As though as my future depends very much on it. So who cares!

Is sky the limit… That karangan I was lazy to do…

11:30pm… What to eat for dinner?

2006-11-22T09:14:00.000+08:00

We had a real late dinner last Sunday,

Me : eh… low poh, you hungry? Me, very lar... we skipped dinner today, remember?
Wife : Yeah me too… what should we do? Its 11:30pm now…

Me : what about mee goreng mamak?
Wife : Don't feel like having it…

Me : ok, what about nasi goreng mamak?
Wife : No.

Me : ayam goreng Mcd and white rice?
Wife : Night lar… don’t you think its too oily?

Me : oh ok, I go out buy bubur ayam and a few pieces of Yow Char Kuey to dip and eat?
Wife : Nah… its still oily… and bubur ayam? Bubur only for sick people ok?

Me : ok lar… standard food, I boil rice and steam a few cheese sausages from the fridge?
Wife : Ahhhh… ok ok… hehehehehe…

Me : * immediately got up from my bed and go do overtime in the kitchen *
Wife : * opened up her notebook and played Bejeweled 2 *

Is sky the limit… cook at home and eat at home and wash the dishes after that!

Mouth ulcer and salt… syok!

2006-11-22T09:06:00.000+08:00

My feeling right now is unbearable, 1 minute just now I put salt on my mouth ulcer.

Me : Arghhh…. * eyes become watery *
Wife : oh my god… what have you done?

Me : Arghhh… don’t ask… Arghhh… * closing both eyes *
Wife : ee..yer…

Me : * mouth still shut * .. * one part of the mouth became numb a bit *
Wife : ayo… ayo… so kesian…

Me : Argh… oh syok!
Wife : *_*” ... why are you tormenting your ulcer... you should gargle with salt water... not dabbing straight onto it! Kanasai!

Tormenting is a nice word... cos' we are tormented everyday in the office... right?

Is sky the limit… salt on mouth ulcer… its good…

Bloggin' From The Curve's Cathay Cinema...

2006-11-19T18:04:00.000+08:00

The Curve, 11/19/2006 - Hi i am bloggin' live from The Curve Cinema. Watching Deathnote and James Bond : Casino Royale.

Wanted to do this for quite some time but never got the chance as these terminals are always occupied. So here i am getting a grip with this terminal.

6:15pm Deathnote

9:00pm James Bond : Casino Royale

Yup, two shows in an evening. It has been a long time since i've done such feat with my wife. Currently she is using the next terminal. Oh yeah, feel good to be bloggin' from Cathay's access.

See you all next week...

is sky the limit... Casino Royale and Deathnote...

It's sem break, mate

2006-11-17T02:54:00.000+08:00

It's over.

It's finally over.

What happen when you wake up, you notice a missing hole in your life?

[i]"What is happening in the world today is that the fool are always confidence while the wiser always doubt in their mind."[/i]

It's test

2006-11-15T16:30:00.000+08:00

It's test for everyone whenever or whoever you are and ...

"Hmm, excuse me, mister.. This is a potion for solving problems and memorizing formula during test." "Only cost you RM20, buy 4 free 1..."

"??"

Well, isn't that good if we have such a potion in real life?

Tomorrow is last paper for the Crude, he'll be flying away again after that.

"Wee.. I'm going home."

Is it a No or is it a YES... please?

2006-11-11T11:11:00.000+08:00

The complexity of living in the society has become very difficult and people are finding it tough to earn money. Don't you find it hard to say the word ‘NO’ to either strangers or friends nowadays. Why I said that is because everyone wants a piece of you OR someone to listen their demand. There are many examples to this situation.

For example, your boss asked you to do something beyond your job scope or contradicts your principles and understanding. Do you dare or wish to say NO? Even the ShitiBank promoters who called you also can’t take NO for an answer. What’s more with those lottery scam runners also won’t take NO but are more persistent to persuade you.

I wonder what the world has turned to. Is NO such a bad word for people to accept it. In oppose to that, if you answer YES you still won’t be able to get what you want. For instance below:

Boss : Do you want a pay increment?
You : YES
Boss : Due to the company economical I am afraid that is impossible.

Girlfriend : Do you like sex?
You : YES
Girlfriend : Hehehehehe… get married first….

Supervisor : Do you want a bonus?
You : YES
Supervisor : Show me what you can do with this project first

4D Punter : Do you want to strike millions?
You : YES
4D Punter : No money No Bet

Perfume Sales Girl : Would you like to try this? It’s a new product.
You : YES
Perfume Sales Girl : Its only RM350 and its on promotion

Its so ironic. People don’t like to hear the word NO. On the other hand, the word YES is not as good as it is said out.

You tau makan? YES

Is sky the limit… do you want to eat? Boss, I want a pay raise, can ar? NO…

Rumah Keranda...

2006-11-11T10:59:00.000+08:00

Last night, an idiot was annoying me by looking for someone called Rizal. Some dumbfark did not get his number right when making SMS.

The first was a missed call while I was in the shower. Then second came when I was about to came out from the bathroom. It rang twice, you know, I thought it was my mom or dad on something urgent. But the fark hanged up by the time I answered. Shit, I was half naked, wet and can’t even see clearly rushing out to pick the call. Geeze!!!!

Then this fark started SMS. After a few annoying SMS which i ignored (hopefully that fark will realized his error) and out of kindness i also did replied that there is no such fark. The last straw, this fark was so persistence in finding out who was using Rizal number. This is what I received: (DAMN BLARDY DISTURBING)

first half of message

second half of message

This is what i replied to 016-5462260:

is sky the limit... dun play play...

Today my brain says NO

2006-11-08T15:55:00.000+08:00

Me : Hey brain, what is wrong with you? Nothing to say?
Brain : Nope. Don't disturb me.

Me : Why can't i disturb you?
Brain : Nothing.

Me : Come on tell me... we are best buddies, right?
Brain : Nah... you only look for me when you can't solve your problems... I dun want to talk to you!

Me : Come on man... its just one simple question... easy right? Look at it here...
Brain : No. I am not listening to you.

Me : Its just one line of question here, mate... its not difficult...
Brain : No.

Me : Look i appreciate you for what you are doing... but you are the expert here in thinking and processing...
Brain : Thanks but no thanks... dun disturb me...

This is the day my brain protested and shut me off...

is sky the limit... human brains and computer processors... what is the trade off?

Crude Hasting : Flash Development

2006-11-03T11:19:00.000+08:00

Please click here to download your Crude Hastings's flash file click me

is sky the limit... flash

ISTL Introducing - Twisted Thoughts : The World And You Alone

2006-11-01T17:04:00.000+08:00

After some weeks of twisting my thoughts and trying to get an ending to it, here you are, i present you Twisted Thoughts : The World and You Alone. It has four parts. The last one not longer than the second and third part. However, the second and third part are very long to be put in a blog. However, it represents my own twisted ideas. I must say its one of completed stories. I had started a number of stories but not one is finish. Here you are, one completed story from ISTL:

Twisted Thoughts : The World And You Alone - Part 1
Twisted Thoughts : The World And You Alone - Part 2
Twisted Thoughts : The World And You Alone - Part 3
Twisted Thoughts : The World And You Alone - Part 4 (Final)

I hope you enjoy reading this stories...

is sky the limit... the world is not the limit...

Twisted Thoughts : The World And You Alone Part 4 (Final)

2006-11-01T16:33:00.000+08:00

This will be the ending of this twisted thoughts story. Lets end this story with this beginning. As you drive off into the highway, you saw many cars had stalled in the middle of the road. Some cars had veered off into the emergency lane. Some had toppled over. You had to drive carefully to avoid this stranded cars in the highway. It was almost half an hour of driving that the highway has less stranded cars. You pick up speed. As the city view become less and the country side becomes more visible, you notice something unusual. The trees were uprooted and floating a few meters from the ground. Although the trees’ roots were still attached to the ground, it is as though the tree were lifted by their roots. How amazing, you thought. You stopped your SUV. You looked around. The whole forest looked like floating in the air. The sun is definitely shining brightly, sky is absolutely clear of clouds and you can see hills from your position. You drove on slowly. After some time, you had gotten use to the new environment that you decided to stop at one rest house.

The rest house has one flower pot with an ‘X’ marked to its pot. The toilet was clean and smelled of lavender. Feel good and sleepy. You made your business as fast as possible and moved on again into the highway. After some hours or so, you saw another rest house coming up. Having finish a bottle of mineral water, you decided to give nature a call again. This time you saw the same flower pot. Not one but two flower pots. Both had an ‘X’ marked on its pot. The toilet was same and smell same too. You drove on to the highway again. It was hours and the road was just straight. You past another rest house. You made another glimpse at the toilet entrance as you passed by. There are three flower pots with each marked ‘X’. You sped on. The road was straight. After some time, you just realized that all this while, there were not exits to other states. Something is not right. There were no toll or any signs of U-turn so to return back to the city.

The world has gone mad since its population disappeared. ‘Think, think’, you said to yourself. So you decided to drove on. After the tenth rest house, you had enough of this long journey. The fuel was getting low and there were still no sign of exiting this highway. The highway is going straight. You drove on. Resting for breaks when you felt sleepy. Evening arrived and your SUV has nearly diminished all of its petrol. Suddenly, you saw light, a very bright blue light. ‘I can’t take this anymore, thank god!’, you exclaimed. ‘I saw light!’, you beamed happily at the sudden change in the highway. The moment you reach the bright blue light, the whole highway scene changed. The environment now looked so plain. Plain meaning. There is nothing there. Just plain white empty spaces. ‘What the hell’, you murmured.

‘Ahem’, someone coughed. You looked around. There was this person sat just beside the border of the white empty space and the highway. ‘I am sure your mind must have a lot of question to ask’, he smiled at him. He looked old and had a long white beard. He dressed in white suit too. ‘Who are you?’, you asked him. ‘That is a nice car they created for you’, he looked at the Murano. ‘Of course’, he said to himself again. ‘You may come down from the car now’, he gestured to you. ‘Its saved to come out’, he continued with a smile. You walked out of your SUV. ‘What is this place? Who are you?’, you asked again. ‘Well, this is the developer’s environment’, he said. ‘To some of you, I am called the Mother Nature’, he said. You looked hard at him, he doesn’t looked like a mother to be a Mother Nature. ‘Ok, I don’t looked woman to be Mother Nature’, he smiled again. ‘But who of you really know Mother Nature look like’, he said and looked to the SUV and the highway outside the white environment.

‘Some said I am the creator’, he looked back to you. ‘However, I am just the coordinator. I say things downstairs build it’, he pointed below. ‘Up there is management’, he looked up. ‘Never mind you do not understand’, he walked over to you nearer and looked more closely to you. ‘Am I dead’, you asked. ‘No no’, he immediately replied with a laugh. ‘You are absolutely fine, my lad’, he nodded with a smile. You seemed not so convinced. ‘Honestly, you are still alive. Just that you are separated from the rest of the population we created. Its sort of right now the whole entire planet is having an upgrade.’, he smiled again. ‘Are you sure? You are not one of those TV reality shows, are you?’, you asked. ‘Do I looked like one?’ he squinted at you. ‘No!’, he denied it with a full satisfactory tone. ‘My boy, you are looking at one of the most spectacular event that occurred in your life right now. Normally, human like you won’t wake up when we do upgrading to the whole planet. But you’, he said pointing with one finger to your chest. ‘You woke up before we complete our upgrade’, he said and smiled. ‘Normally, we will just shut down human and let them sleep until the whole process is complete but your system just ignore our command. So we decided to let one and only one human to venture and have the luxury to the whole world when we do upgrade. All those things that you had for several years will retain with you when you wake up. Tell no one I trust?’ he said. ‘Alright, ‘ you said reluctantly. Whether to believe him or yourself. ‘Still don’t believe me?’ he smiled at you.

‘Yes, I do not yet’, you looked back at him. ‘Come, let me show you’, he grabbed hold of your hand and walked to the border of the white environment and the highway. He pressed something on his wrist. The whole highway scene change to billions of tiny screen channels. All of them showing individual human sleeping. ‘And you are here’, he pointed at one of the tiny screen. ‘not sleeping’, he continued. His screen showing him standing in the white room with the man. ‘Convince now?’ he asked again. ‘No’ you said. He gave you one slap. ‘Ouch, that hurts!’, he screamed. ‘That hurts and you are definitely not dreaming!’, he confirmed to you. ‘Ok, I get your point!’, you shouted back. ‘So what should I do?’, you asked him back. ‘That depends, the development department will finish their upgrade in 6 months time and you can still fool around and get as many things you want or you can go back to sleep’, he said. ‘I rather go back to sleep and wake up tomorrow with my family, girlfriend and friends’, you looked at him and then down to the white floor. ‘I see’, he smiled again. ‘Feeling lonely in the world and you alone?’, he asked. ‘Yes’, you nodded.

For more of my twisted thoughts click here : - Part 3 - Part 2 - Part 1 -

Is sky the limit… with a snapped of finger you are back sleeping in your bedroom. Sure you will see your loved ones tomorrow plus the goodies you had taken… The End

Twisted Thoughts : The World And You Alone Part 3

2006-11-01T16:30:00.000+08:00

Weeks were short with the supply you last got from that mall. You are too tired and bored with the whole silent environment. Again, this story is about to finish, twisted thought, with the world alone and this will be the last story and I hope you enjoy the story from the beginning to the nearing end. Let’s begin. You have woke up sweating. It was hot and summer definitely has arrived. The morning sun was brighter than the other days. Today, you laid on your bed and start to think what will happen if the world did not had its population disappear. Definitely, you will still have your family, girlfriend and your old friends by your side. Not to mention, the feeling sickly silent when you entered your office.

Today you decided to go to your office again for one last time to pack up a few stuffs before you moved on. Yes, you have been wondering what would it be if you decided to get a car and moved out of this city. The country side will be good and also to check out if there are any existing survivors. Now it is also a good time to get back to that mall again and grab that beautiful SUV that you had wanted for a long time. A black Nissan Murano. Yes, that is what you had been thinking of lately. Definitely, you will need a key to get it start up for the journey.

After getting all the necessary stuffs and a few things at home, you gave a last glanced to the office and then your home, and you walked off to the mall. Pack with a backpack – a few pieces of clean clothing, a bottle of water, a pen knife, your wallet, a torchlight, and a bar of chocolate. By the way, you can still get more of these things in the mall. Might be even a box of un-opened CK jeans or t-shirts. A box of Evian water and so on. Anyway, you get more, if you really need, when you reach the mall.

You looked around the auto mart for the SUV’s key. You looked around the auto mart office. Hanging by the side of the room, dangling a few sets of keys and you grabbed every each of it. You move to your Murano. The first key did not opened it by a Ford truck behind. The second key opened a Mercedes Compressor next to it. The third key opened up a Honda City. Finally the last key, Murano sprang to life, the car lock opened and you pack your things into it. You check around the interior. It was lush and a elegant. The feel of it was awesome. You loved it. The fuel level was low. You drive it out of the mall. Tell me, how on earth of someone being lucky not having to pay and drive out a SUV of a mall freely. That was you. Reason simple, the world has disappeared all its inhabitants in one fine day.

You reach the nearest petrol station. There were neither sign of petrol attendant nor other staffs. You parked to the first petrol pump. You walked into the store. Rows of food and snacks, bottle of waters and other amenities you can find in a convenient petrol store. You grab one box of instant noodles, biscuits, chocolate and bottle of mineral bottles. All stored neatly behind your Murano. Last, you went to the counter switch one petrol pump 1 to fuel up your SUV. For the first time in your whole life you had the petrol station to yourself. Furthermore, you can fuel up as much as you like.

As you push the pump into the SUV and start fuelling up, you notice the fuel meter at the petrol kiosk did not increase but decrease. It had its number reading in negative! You stopped for a moment and go back to your SUV and see if its really fueling up. Yes, it was fuelling up. You peered into the petrol tank and there were petrol half fill up. Regardless the petrol kiosk continue to read negative, you just pump away. Strange, you thought.

For more of my twisted thoughts click here : - Part 4 - Part 2 - Part 1 -

Is sky the limit… let drive and forget

Me and Dumbledore...

2006-11-01T16:14:00.000+08:00

I have been reading Harry Potter story books for the past one month:

Me : Argh!!!! Dumbledore died… Snape killed him! Gosh… I can’t believe it! Low poh… Snape killed Dumbledore…
Wife : Yeah… sad ending for Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince…

* Reread the ending few times… *

Me : ooh… ayo… ayo…
Wife : Why are you getting so emotional over it?… its just a story…

* After half an hour *

Me : ayo… ayo… Dumbledore…
Wife : eh… get a grip… if he don’t die… no story lar…

* Lunch time *

Me : Dumbledore… I can’t believe it… I like him since book 1… why does he have to die… ayo…
Wife : *_*””… here, eat your okra!

* After dinner *

Me : Damn… Snape… Dumbledore…
Wife : Say Dumbledore one more time… I’ll burn all your Harry Potter books!

Me : ok ok…

* Reread the ending again at night *

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…. Dumbledore died!

Is sky the limit… Dumbledore… Dumbledore…

How many HR, Admin and Programmer personnel to open a can of sardine?

2006-11-01T16:01:00.000+08:00

One thing happened to me recently and I can’t help myself laughing when I think over it again.

Let me ask you question,

“How many HR personnel, Admin personnel and Programmer to open one can of sardine?”

* got the answer? No? Then, scroll down…

* scroll down…

* scroll down… some more

The answer is one Admin personnel to buy a can of sardine and make an attempt to open it. If fails, the Admin will contact one HR officer to sought out the problem. Realizing the task is difficult to handle, it is then a request is forward to the technical department to have one programmer to go and open it. There upon, the programmer will analyze the situation and looked for available resources or tools to open it correctly. As it seems, in less than 5 minutes, the can was open by a right amount of force, a right amount of proper gripping and both the HR and the Admin staffs monitoring the progress. There you are, the can of sardine is ready to serve.

So it works, right? Hehehehehe…

Is sky the limit… 1 HR, 1 Admin, 1 Programmer… job done!

TC, you should try Spicy Ayam Goreng Mcd with rice!

2006-11-01T15:45:00.000+08:00

There is one thing that I always like when it comes to buying a set of Ayam Goreng Mcd. For a start, I will go to the nearest mamak stall and get a pack of white rice. Only then, I head to the nearest Mcd and get my large set Spicy Ayam Goreng Mcd. Of course, I won’t have it there… such eating habit is best kept private in my own house. Talking about private… revealing my eating habit in my blog, I bet Padme will have a word with me, giggling from Kerry and Mitchelle and a head-turn by TC.

Oh yeah! I love white rice with their Spicy Ayam Goreng Mcd… TC, you should try your Spicy Ayam Goreng Mcd with rice… it rox!

Is sky the limit… white rice satu… spicy Ayam Goreng Mcd satu!

Who is She Getting Married To?

2006-11-01T15:40:00.000+08:00

Sometimes it happened and you will be sort of hold on and spend a few seconds to process your respond. This is what happen during dinner with my wife.

Me : J is getting married next month. She invited both of us. Do you want to come with me?

Wife : Next month… hmmm… early of the month?

Me : Yeah…

Wife : Hmmm… busy week… I see first… ‘cos I still got a lot of assignment not done yet…

Me : Ok… no problem…

* During half way through my spicy Ayam Goreng Mcd *

Wife : So, who is she getting married to?

* At this moment, I am so compelled to make up a story to tell her. I wanted to laugh. The reason is because she hadn’t met J before. Even if I were to say J’s husband’s name she won’t be able to recognize him, right? So I can just say J is getting married to Mr. Chau Ah Beng. There goes my widest grin… *

Me : err… if I say his name will you know who he is?

Wife : * looked at me… with a don’t-challenge-me face *

Me : ok ok lar.. she is getting married to Tom Cruise… don’t hit me!!!

Wife : * whack * Eat your chee-ken!

Me : sob sob… ok ok…

Is sky the limit… so who are you getting married to?

The kid with twisted ID...

2006-10-28T16:10:00.000+08:00

It's morning, I turned on the radio and the g*ddam Dj broadcast on how to survive when suddenly an important airwave interrupt the channel.

He looked outside and what he saw was a big explosion with the clouds like nuclear bomb. It was indeed a nuclear explosion...

[Heavy effects with a little music.]

The title appeared : "Jericho"

[The story started with a few people running skelter - helter everywhere to find shelter.]

This was the latest series that I'm watching lately. It was interesting with full of mystery and hanging lines. Well, I was hoping a few zombies to appear but in vain.

Twisted Thoughts : The world and you alone Part 2

2006-10-23T17:10:00.000+08:00

This is the continuation of my twisted mind from the past entry. It continues. After a week of sleeping and ravaging of food, you decided you wanted something different. Strange as it sound, you want fish and you want meat. That night, restful and dreamless, you woke up to a fresh morning. The alarm rang. It was so loud that it will wake up the people below. Yes, the people. The people who once lived below you do no longer exist. The earth has decided to vanish its inhabitant except one, you, many years ago. You still asked that question of why you exist.

You pack and made haste. You peeped through the door's hole as though you think there will be something out there waiting to snatch you. No, it is just still and silent. You open the door and walked out. The sky is as blue as the sea. It was a bit windy. Again you looked to the opposite of the house and found the same old rusted car stood where it is. You still have your memory on the late owner washing it. You ignored it and this time turned the other way to head to the largest mall in your town.

As you walked up the lane, you saw an old police car crashed onto a lawn. The police car is filled with rose. Mrs. Thorn's rose has crept all over it. As you walked past, you had a glimpsed of its interior content. There were a radio, a mobile computer and a shot gun. You just walked on. The lake as it seems as still as ever. The cloud above is reflecting on it as a ghost. Still and very calm. No birds flew and no airplane, even helicopters. A few rustles of newspaper flew past your path. It was news of yesterday. You still remember when it was hard done on every election of the town. Now it just plain quiet. A few banners and poster stood wasting in front of you.

Now you reach a petrol station. Had it ever wonder to you that you might just go up, press a button on the cashier machine to start filling up your car? Yes you do. You can do it later. The petrol obviously is all yours. No worries of price increasing or decreasing. It is there. Imagine the whole world of petroleum just lay there untouched since the last disappearance. You grab a few chocolate bars before continuing to the mall.

As you near the mall, the weather changed, it had become ready to fell rain. It did. It petered rain from the road up to the sky. It had done so each time since the start of the disappearance. The rain just went up to the sky. It never comes down. The sky will be so filled it just turned white. You quickly ran to the mall entrance. You could feel the rain sliding up your body and your face. You don't feel wet at all. It just goes up. All of it.

However it always left puddle of water and when the sun comes out, you will see little droplets of water vaporizing upwards into thin air. If you manage to feel it with your hands you will feel the sensation of heat caressing your palm. It’s nice. Very nice. Little wonder why it occurs in such manner. It will be a good for researchers. I doubt if the research center is working now. The last disappearance, yes, it is always the last disappearance that says this.

Nevertheless, you stop admiring the rain and walked into the big silent mall. The day event of the mall was left as it is before the last disappearance. The air conditioning is still running. The lights are lighted. Some video stores had its television sets showing static though now no more broadcasting. Just static. You walked along the stores at ground floor. You told yourself you could grab anything you like. The DVD sets, the washing machines, the sofa sets, the fridge, the home theatre, the clothing, the books and all of it. It’s left there and untouched. The previous sales promotion tags were still hanging there. It still read 50% discount. You grinned, 'yeah right, you grabbed a jacket and a cap'. You looked at the mirror. Perfect, you muttered.

You walked around. You reached a perfume shop. You looked at it. You grinned again. 'Why not', you just snap your fingers and you walked in. DKNY, CK and loads more, it’s yours. You grabbed a few. As you left you just told yourself to leave some for next time. Good isn't it. It’s all the last disappearance that had left all this open for grab, by you alone. Now you are heading up to the first floor to a book store. You entered it. The books were neatly left stacked in its bookshelves. Just the way, again, before the last disappearance. You took a few books and went out. Surprisingly the sensor was still working. It blared loudly. You wondered why previous shop it did not blared the alert. You looked around still scared as if a security were come to you. You waited about a minute. Still nothing happen. You just walked away. After a few shops away, the alert just stops. 'Was it someone who stops it?’ you quizzed yourself. Probably, the security office does have someone still exist to monitor him. You waved at the camera. The camera did not turn at all.

You went to the nearest information booth to check up on the mall's security office. It was on the ground floor. You ran down. It was tiring. The escalator was no longer accessible. You reached it. It was still left open. 'Good', you murmured with heavy breath after all those running. You looked around and shouted, 'Hello'. No one answer you. You go into the surveillance room. All the television monitoring the mall just displayed static. No one is here. You walked out of it and headed to the first floor again. You pass through a few shops selling lingerie. You admired it for a while. 'It’s just me, I might grab one if I have a her', you smiled at yourself. The lingerie shop was left untouched. You walk further.Is sky the limit... the silent mall of fortune...

For more of my twisted thoughts click here : - Part 4 - Part 3 - Part 1 -

is sky the limit... the silent mall of fortune

The missing article : Second Island (Part 1)

2006-10-21T21:47:00.000+08:00

[A missing article from the mysterious man.]

On the 29 of August (Wednesday) night, Crude Hasting boarded a KUiTTHO bus and traveled to Terengganu.

It was a debate field trip consisted of 12 people including high and junior ranking debators. All were excited and anticipated for the event in Pulau Perhentian Besar.

-After 8 hours.
The party reached Kuala Besut after 2 hours of zip-zapping and lost™ in Kuala Besut to find the jetty. As the party reached their destination, the party leader looked for Flora Bay Resort to confirm their departure. Flora Bay resort was actually an old sacked building which looks like pirates' hut.

"Aargh, anyone grog?" LOL

Then upon looking around the town at the jetty, it was indeed looked like Silent Hill™ except with residents so it's a hybrid of Silent Hill™ and Resident Evil™.

-After confirmation.
Everyone stomach started to play the drum and roared like bad drummer.

[Music started]

The party leader started to hunt for food with only 45 minutes before the boat leave jetty. The party leader, well, he's not a good decision maker. He brought the whole team around the town but still can't decide what to eat. Just by walking around the town, 15 minutes gone. When the decision arrived, 30 minutes gone. 10 minutes later the food arrived and left 5 minutes for food. Everyone turbocharged with the food. Good leader...

-The interesting part.
We had to pay for the food so we called the young waitress over there. The first thing she asked was "Suku - suku?" Everyone blurred and was wondering was she said. All were stunned and Crude knew something was familiar with that language like a pirate. He replied "Liki-liki?" Everyone on the table laughed. Well, actually, she was asking in Terengganu slang, "Pay individually?".

-Leaving the jetty.
The party left the port and to the Island! This whole sailing took another 30 minutes plus. As we were closer to the destination, we saw two islands... The Perhentian Kecil and Perhentian Besar. Our island to pillage is Perhentian Besar!

"Aye, captain!"

Sorry, skip out the word: pillage.

-Reaching the shore.
Our bags were taken to land with a sampan while we dock at the jetty. At last stood in front of Crude was the BIG VIEW of Pulau Perhentian Besar! Everyone was assigned to their respective rooms. Crude shared it with a senior and a junior plus a HEP guy. (HEP = Student Affair Administrator). Everyone bunked in their bags and started to explore the island. Some plunged into the water while some jogged around the island while the others strolled along the beach before the schedule for the debate start later....

While for Crude, he prefered to enjoy the view of the Island than debating...

[the half part was torn out.. stay tune...]

Why is the blogger "darn" slow? 3 sec delay!

2006-10-21T02:23:00.000+08:00

It's so frustrating to log in and write the blog wihout seeing "sorry, there is a problem on the server" or while I'm typing there will be a delay and if I press del, a 3 second delay will happen!!

Even as I'm typing this, there will be a 3 second delay! Bastard...!!!

Me : "Bingung" !@#$%^&

Poor little kitten

2006-10-21T01:25:00.001+08:00

It's been long since the scourge of the ISTL mysterious man appeared. It's been awhile since he's gone. People started to live on their life and forgotten the existence of this guy. However, before the memory of this guy elapse, he emerged once again before the very eyes of the people for sky isn't the limit.

[Sounds of thunder roaring and clapping.]

Time reversed.
Now, I be bringing the audience back to the day yesterday. Fainted hearted or animal lover shouldn't be reading this.

Yesterday, a wet evening as the rain just stopped. It was dinner time and it was time to forage food from a nearby restaurant. My friend and I decided to take the bike to the place. Not long, as soon as we reached the road to the place, long stretch of vehicles jammed on the very narrow road.

Me and my friend : ???

I expertly swirled my motor through the stationary vehicles stucked on the road. Poor them. Everyone wants to get through. In fact that road is a very "kampung" which seldom see cars pack like sardines in a tin can.

As I swirled closer to the source of the heavy traffic, both of us saw what was devastating and cruelty happend in the middle of the road. A poor kitten head was crushed by a vehicle and the poor kitten was suffering and tormented by the pain inflicted. If it was an instant dead, it be much less sympathy felt but what was agony, was the fact that the kitten screaming in pain in the middle of the road! Stupid driver! It was a hit and run!

Me and my friend : Felt so sad and sympathy. Lost our hungers and felt so sorry for the kitten.

Life is so fragile.

Hmm, I wonder what happened to the kitten after that?

What on earth am i writing now? ... No idea...

2006-10-18T14:28:00.000+08:00

After she read my two entries before this,

Wife : * whack 9 my head * What the hell are you writing?
Me : hehehehe… some of my weirds thought….

Wife : Go iron my uniform!
Me : ok ok…

Is sky the limit… go iron baju!

Twisted Thoughts : The world and you alone Part 1

2006-10-18T14:21:00.000+08:00

Note : Long winding thoughts. Read on if you are only interested...

My mind is twisted again today. Lets imagine again today that you are again alone in the world. You woke up, you brush your teeth, washed your face, changed into your day clothes and get ready to leave your house. Only this time, your house door looked very heavily locked and secured from the outside world. You looked around your house to ensure that there is no break in. Your barricaded windows are intact and no signs of breaking. You peeped outside. No one or anything is out there. You unlock your door and slowly crept outside. It was windy and still no signs of human. You looked around again. It was like a deserted place. Your opposite neighbor who used to come out to clean his car was not there anymore. The car was left there. There were no kids running around or playing. No voice but just the howling of the wind. This had happened. Everyone just disappeared one day.

You walked to the nearest convenience store to get your usual supply. Along the way, you hear the clanking of old tin cans, or the sound of swing blown by the wind. You ignored it. You continued to walk to the store. You had your IPOD, but those songs had been many years ago. No new songs or albums had been produced ever since the disappearance. Radio and televisions no longer broadcasting and the whole world had just stopped or stalled. You looked anxiously around for signs of living. Cats and dogs used to stray the street too but now no longer. You wonder where they had gone. You passed by a few clothing shops. You had took a few pieces of branded jeans and t-shirts from the last shop at the other corner of your house. Neither cashier to ask you for payment nor you have to go to the nearest ATM to take money. You just take whatever you wanted. You have taken a few tin cans of food from the shelve just the other day. Poultry supplies had ran out almost many years ago. Only left are canned food. Today you are planning to take a few bottle of wines and a few more varieties of canned food.

Some old magazines were left at the magazine stands. Those were already old and probably you had read many times. Never mind the magazines you thought and went grabbed a few DVDs from the entertainment shelve and tucked all into your backpack. ‘I think that should be enough for the week’, I said to yourself. You looked around. Sometimes the places looked creepy and eerie. Creepy because there was everyone had disappeared one day. Eerie because you felt there were still people watching behind you. There were times you wanted to cry and shouted madly at night sat on top of your house. It just stayed quiet and after a while you went down, locked all doors and went to sleep. It was too quiet.

Grasses in the lawn outside are always the same. It won’t grow. It just remained the same. Lake waters were still and even though how hard you threw a stone on it there is no ripple. It just drop down beneath the lake. There is no sound of splashing. It just dropped. You tried to feel the lake once but it was just dead cold. You looked away and see the sky. It was getting darker now. You walked home. Its strange at every evening, the street lamps will always lit up. Without fail, it will lit up on its own as though the electrical company is still working. You once went there to check out if there are still people. Unfortunately, it was empty. The street lamps were run automatically by machines. At least, these machines are some that is still working.

For more of my twisted thoughts click here : - Part 4 - Part 3 - Part 2 -

Is sky the limit… you are alone in this world.

Twisted Thoughts : A long Corridor

2006-10-18T14:16:00.000+08:00

I am in this place long before you were born and you were dead. I walk along the long corridor filled with doors to be unlock and open for exploration. It is always one lane and doors are always on each side. There are many names and each of it has description of the person below it. Sometimes names repeated itself but the description will be different.

There was once I walked into one person’s door and I found it was so beautiful and many butterflies fluttering all over the garden. The smell of lavender and the sky is blue and a rainbow over it. At the end of the garden, there was a girl playing with her parents. They looked happy. All of them smiling and talking happily to each other. I closed the door.

Then not long I saw a name with a crossed mark on it. It was the mark that only the ones who done wrong will have it. So I opened the door to see what wrong doing that this person has committed. It smelled so bad and there were women screaming. It was dark and there were many pitiful eyes starring at me. At the far end, a silhouette of a person sat alone with both his hands on his head as though deep in thoughts. He kept on muttering, ‘I’m sorry’. This room is filled with sorrow. I just closed the door and walked on. ‘Bless the many souls that he had hurt’, I said quietly.

Sometimes, the long corridors I walked will changed colors. Colors are always either blue and red. If I walked into a red corridor it will always meaning those doors that I am about to see are either war victims or war perpetrators. Not a nice thing to see at all. I had once stumbled upon a poor girl through one of those doors. She had the most saddest eyes and she had a hand held up upon me. I touch her. She smiled at me. I know I have touched her. Sometimes the doors I opened and touched the person in it, it will transfer to the blue corridor. Sometimes it won’t.

Is sky the limit… the long corridor

An interest and a future for decision making

2006-10-13T14:00:00.000+08:00

Note : Long entry from me. I know I am a bit long winded.

Its the end of the year soon and many students (SPM and STPM) will be searching for a college or university to pursue their higher education. Now the big question is,

"Which bachelor degree do you intend to take?"

There will be a lot of education fair to educate and promote their course to students. However, which course is suitable for you after your SPM or STPM? This is the question you should ask yourself.

Here is a story i would like to share. After my SPM, i flew to Australia to begin my Foundation Years so i could do my Accouting Degree. However, my degree turned out to Information Technology Degree. So what happen in the middle of the story? I took interest in IT.

Many of us have our dream course and dream career. Now why do i say this? Simple. You get a degree so you could land yourself the job you want. HOwever, that doesn't happen all the time. I am not saying it won't happen but you must be prepared to work hard for it. I have friends who studied one degree but turned out doing something else after their graduation. When i asked them why the switch they told me the degree is just to fulfill someone or some personal objective. To fulfil personal objective is still quite fine but not doing the things supposed to be associated to the degree? Why not just straight do the thing you like and get a degree later. Or do the degree that you like. There will be many reasons but student should choose what they want to do. I know sometimes student's aim is to study a certain degree but they are turned down by the university (in the case of public university). However, students should not get worried because of that. They should look for alternative. Some are given the opportunity and some are lack the opportunity to do it. However, student still should not give up.

I remembered my dad used to ask me if i have chosen the course i wanted to do. When i eventually say the word yes the next question pop up.

"Is there a market required for this degree?"

In other words, this question meaning can a student find a job with this degree. This is another factor that you need to consider. Not just because that degree is trendy and everyone is taking it. What is the point if you take up a trendy degree and at the end of the day you cannot secure yourself a job. Students have to understand that obtaining degree is the starting point for them to work and start earning. Meaning also less dependent from the family. Able to move forward and go up the ladder too. However, all is not at end. Looking for a degree that market demands can be quite tough because you should also consider your interest. Here comes the next question.

"Do you like this course?"

If all ends with a no. Why do you want to take up a subject you don't like. You know you won't like it and even failing it. Yes, the degree is high in demand in the market but will you like the course that you will need to endure for 3 to 4 years? The expectation to perform and the pressure to finish assignment that you are struggling to cope while interest is not there is wasting time. At the end of the day, you will be feeling tired and started to have the feeling of redoing another course. As a result, money and time is wasted. Yes, i do have friends who gone through this. Including myself. However, i wasn't so bad. I took interest in IT when i started my Accounting first two semester before i make the jump. No doubt, today is the world of degrees. Unless you are a boss yourself then i have nothing to say.

The more conservative decision will be obtaining the degree that could earn loads of money. The more daring decision will be your interest to learn. Now let me tell you. No matter how the degree you choose you should always consider all this factors because you do not want to regret it later in your life. You do not want to force yourself to take a degree just because it can earn money but you don't have interest in it. However, in reality, who doesn't want a degree that earn money. In another reality, of all the things i learnt while pursuing my degree, not all has been applied in my work. All of it purely interest to learn (or you can call it working experience) and move further. Money will come eventually. The most important things is your interest. You cannot read a book by forcing yourself.

is sky the limit... choose a degree you are interest to pursue!

A Random Chat... Nothing in Relation...

2006-10-12T09:40:00.000+08:00

Juan : http://www.microsoft.com/presspass/exec/ozzie/default.mspx... willi sys must hire this fellow
Me : tiu lar... that guy has been award one of the 7 Microsoft Pioneer

Juan : so wat?
Me : u want me to hire him... use what? buttock hole ar?

Juan : he will be interested to be Willi Sys Pioneer
Me : hahahaha...

Juan : yo...tat time i hope u will be a good boss... i mean it's ok rite if i bring my dog to office....like google?
Me : yah, i will be a good boss... i will bond everyone 3 years... and pay them RM1800 per month... no bonus... no increment... Dogs?! U think here is zoo ar? Pay you to work or pay you to jaga your dog... better jaga my dog then!

Juan : and u will build swiming pool... tennis court
Me : Yes, i will build a cubicle for you and add the bill to your bond... so if you leave before the bond ends... i can collect more money from you

Juan : football field... gym...?
Me : football field... gym... in your dreams... you can only get a field of work which must be done in 8 hours... otherwise stay back! You better dun get sick also... cos i will only pay your claim when you resign...

Juan : hahahahahaha...

is sky the limit... who wants to work for me... ? come lar...

Me Being Lecturer... on the other hand!

2006-10-05T14:46:00.000+08:00

Note : This is not for the faint hearted... please go away if you are a student... but i am also not a lecturer... hahahahaha... some fragments of my imagination!

Many times Padme had say that I will be the worse lecturer. Well, if a lecturer is not cruel and biased to student then where is the fun in learning. Imagine, you go to the lecturer but he, being lecherous, favor to help girls more than guys, what would you think? Hatred and anger and you name it. A fair and respectable lecturer would be too strict on the assignments and giving marks, this makes student’s life hard too. On one hand, if a lecturer is lenient and is helpful then your assignments will be so easy and less challenging. Then what is the point in learning. I think my stand as being a lecturer will be suitable. However, lets twist and turn my role as a lecturer:

Scene 1 : A beautiful babe student walks in…

Babe student : Hi Sir, are you free?
Me : Yeah… what do you want?

Babe student : Its about the assignment you gave yesterday.
Me : Yeah… so… * admiring her from top to bottom *

Babe student : I don’t know how to go about it… I was thinking if I can discuss with you…
Me : Oh… which ~~body~~ part you need me to assist… ?

Babe student : Oh part b and c… quite difficult
Me : part ~~your bottom~~ b … go read chapter 8… part c… …after reading chapter 8… you should be ~~stimulated~~ very fine with it…

Babe student : But chapter 8 is so thick… is there any other way?
Me : yeah… come to my apartment tonight and wear as less as possible there is another solution… do you remember the lecture on Wednesday?

Babe student : Oh no.. I can’t remember…
Me : ~~Come sit on my lap and I help you to refresh you. After we are finish, you will be fresh about your memory.~~ Here take this lecture notes.

Babe student : what?! that thick ar…
Me : Yes, ~~I am 6 inches and very very very thick~~... Abuthen, do you want to pass or not?

Scene 2 : A male student student enters,

Male student : Sir are you…
Me : Yes yes… I am free for you.. come in… come…. What do you want?!.... how can I help you handsome?

Male student : Your assignment you gave yesterday…
Me : Don’t know or know, handsome?

Male student : Err… I think I ….
Me : Don’t fidget there… come! sit next to me, handsome… sit here close close… I won’t bite you wan… come… come… sit… sit, handsome… I show you!... wah your body is tough… got do body building ar? I like guys with big chest… come lar… dun malu malu…

Male student : *_____ * “”””
Me : eh, this office not suitable to discuss… have you ever heard of BrokeBack Mountain ar? Wanna go there with me? We can discuss…

Male student : Its ok sir, I can do it myself… * Quickly fled my room *
Me : EH! COME BACK LAR… DON”T DO IT YOURSELF LAR… DON”T BE SHY LAR!!! Haiya… young men nowadays so shy… not like the olden days…

Me : Hehehehehe… I love my job… oh yeah… * return to blogging *

So Padme, is this much better for me as a lecturer?

Is sky the limit… I am a lecturer… you visited BrokeBack Mountain ar?

Oh... reading blogs ar... what jiao again?

2006-10-04T15:19:00.000+08:00

One day I went to my friend’s house...

Ah Lick : * busy reading – wave his hand at me *
Me : Wah… you busy doing assignment ar?

* I walked over *

Me : What assignment you doing lar?
Ah Lick : No lar, just reading some blogs…

Me : Which blog you are reading now? * I looked at his screen – that blog look so familiar *
Ah Lick : nothing lar… rojakz, drliew, kukujiao, tiger’s den lar… then MichaelOoi… but now all his entry filled with his baby…

Me : wait… wait… what did you say just now… what jiao again?
Ah Lick : Kukujiao.... you know... kukujiao.com

Me : oh… * that’s earl-ku * - * My god, of all names… *
Ah Lick : * he Alt-Tab to earl-ku’s blog *

Me : I see… I see... so do you have your own blog ar?
Ah Lick : No lar… I only like reading… like this blog… Is Sky The Limit : Episode 2… not bad… quite good also…

Me : Really boh?!
Ah Lick : Really… but sometimes very long…

Me : I see… * now I know why that blog is so familiar *
Ah Lick : You got blog ar?

Me : No lar… No lar... I gotta go, Ah Chee calling…
Ah Lick : * Back to reading blogs *

Geez… kembang a bit lar… Hehehehehe… if you found out that this is my blog… yeah, I lied… Is Sky The Limit : Episode 2 is my blog… hehehehe…

Is sky the limit… no wonder it looked so familiar…

Your two biji down there, right?

2006-10-04T15:01:00.000+08:00

Last two days, my wife and I had our dinner at Kentarki Frai Chee Ken. The Buka Puasa Set comes with a small cup of ice-cream and another small muffin. So two sets were bought. After finished, I took home two small biji muffins. These two biji muffins were left in the car after that.

During the climb to our cave,

Low poh : Your two biji are down there, right?
Me : Hehehehe… yes, my two biji are down there… hehehehe…

Low poh : Oi… I mean the muffins… hahahahahahahahahahaha… eeeeeee….

Well, if my two biji are not down there then where might it be?… hehehehe…

Is sky the limit… yes, my two biji are down there…

My wish is your command!

2006-09-26T15:46:00.000+08:00

Last three weeks, i had a dream about a genie found in Gombak river, Kuala Lumpur. So i was asked for three wishes. This three wishes will begin with the first one being, 'I wish to increase... ', the second 'I wish to decrease...' and the last 'I wish i BOLEH... '. So i send to some bloggers. Three of them came back! Just three...

From cosmoblogger

I wish to increase the money in my bank

I wish to decrease my waistline

I wish I BOLEH no need to work, yet still have the money to splurge

Note: Cosmoblogger told me that if i put this up, i need to help her promote her. So here you are,

Cosmoblogger is a single and beautiful girl. She is a sweet girl who is so adorable that the caramel will melt. She is currently attached to Singapore. However, she is a very down to earth Malaysian girl. Please feel free to visit her blog to understand her more. Thank you.

From thumbelina

I wish to increase the space of my memory

I wish to decrease the amount of cars on the road

I wish I BOLEH walk through walls

From earl-ku

I wish to increase my sex count

I wish to decrease my debts

I wish I BOLEH be a filth rich man by 30 ... (so by that time, i can tumpany on your wealth right?)

is sky the limit... wishes and wishes...

No... No... No... No...

2006-09-21T14:21:00.000+08:00

Last three days, my wife was really moody. Only two students out of six went to her class. She was furious with them.

Florence : Today only two turn up! I've specifically told them and they say they can come for the class. These junior nurses are really making my BP shoot up!

Me : Don't worry lar, they are still juniors mar...

Florence : Grrr... * her mulut sudah muncung-muncung... can gantung 5 kg of Pork liao *

Me : Don't angry lar, i take you to your favourite wan tan mee stall. Ok ar?

Florence : No!

Me : Ok, we go watch horror movie... any movies you like?

Florence : No!

Me : Ok, we go have your favourite McD Sundae Chocolate?

Florence : No!

Me : Ok, we go to Kentarki Fly Cheeken...? Order one Drumstick ad one Thigh portion?

Florence : No!

Me : Ok ok... tonight's special... i wash your toilet?

Florence : Eeeeeee! Stay away from my toilet!

Me : hehehehe... ok lar... what do you want me to do?

Florence : Bring me to 1-Utama... I want to spend some money!

Me : * Holy Shit! *... ...* I can hear the cash register ringing now *

is sky the limit... No... No... No... No... No... No...

What is your order?

2006-09-18T09:15:00.000+08:00

Though I could have this elsewhere in Kepong but I was waiting for my movie so we proceeded to Wong Kok Char Chan Teng; and a very cute and beautiful waitress served us.

Me: * flip and see the menu *

Beautiful Waitress: May I take your orders?

Me: Hehehe… * smiling at the waitress * One Roasted Pork with Rice, one plate of Roasted Bread (peanut butter fried with egg and top with butter), and one Pearly Milk Tea. One more, what time is your shift ends and my last order is can I take you back to my home?

* hehehehe… just joking, I made up the last line *

Beautiful Waitress: Ok, what about you miss?

Low poh: I want the fried spaghetti ala Hong Kong style and one Pearly Milk Tea too.

Me: yum.. yum… hehehehehehe…

Low poh: Wah look at that girl… nice buttock with nice short skirt… ooooh… look at her legs… so fair and so beautiful…

Me: yeah… yeah… oh yeah… nice sexy buttock… * dribbling like a wolf found a pie * … yum… yum… nice leg… skinny and fair… oh..yeah…

Low poh: * whack whack * who asked you to see?! * whack whack * know the meaning of die?! * whack whack *

Me: hehehehe… nice legs yup…

Is sky the limit… nice buttocks… err.. I mean nice buttocks.... no.. no.. I mean nice menu!

You are on the wrong way lar!

2006-09-18T09:06:00.000+08:00

In one particular junction in The Curve, it’s a T-Junction when both cars will meet head to head and make a turn depending from which direction you come from. If I am coming from the opposite I will turn right. If I am coming from the other side I will turn left. So both cars will turn to the same junction like shown in the picture below.

I do not know why such design was put in place but you can see from both of the board signs dangling above. I have gone through this turns a few number of times. Those who frequented this parking spot would know the flow in the Curve’s parking system.

One day one idiot “Stupid Specky” put up his hand on me like “eh, you on the wrong side”.

Me: Screw you lar, you need to turn lar… look at the signs lar… u Stupid Specky…

Stupid Specky : * put up his hand – what lar you are wrong *

Me: * I looked at him and at the back, a car was waiting for me to turn *

Stupid Specky : * putting up his hand non-stop *

Me: * I give him a grin and put up my most honorable universal salute to him and drove into the supposed junction and let the VIOS at the back deal with him because it is one way lane! *

Me: Stupid… don’t how to read the sign or can’t see the sign with his spec…

My Wife: Yeah lar… stupid… let him be lar…

* I peeked at my rear mirror… Hahahahahaha… he has to reverse for the VIOS! *

He looked aghast when I did that to him. The worse was he met another car. Justice done! Some people just don’t learn it. If you are not sure of the direction or the environment it is better to keep quiet, observe, stay low and learn. This is because you might be wrong in the first place. Below is the picture how he stop in front of me.

I don’t intend to nicknamed this poor creature as Stupid Specky but the thought of him doing it to me just proof himself a real ignorant person he is when he is at the wrong. Go screw himself! Even a person who don’t drive can read the sign board like my wife. I do not know how he did not read it or just because he thinks he knows the place well. Well my ass!

Is sky the limit… see the sign board lar, stupid!

Please let me reverse lar....

2006-09-18T08:58:00.000+08:00

I was reversing my car from a parking space. Not many cars allow me to reverse and in short I was getting impatient and no cars was slowing down for me to reverse. My wife on one hand was anxious to get home. I am wondering why cars have those reverse back light when no one even notice you or cares about you. If you force yourself to reverse you might only end up being flashed or honked by them.

Me: Ayo, let me reverse lar… come on…

* I tried reversing a bit *

Proton Savy : * honk and quickly passed on *

Me: Damn, I’m trying to reverse lar… cannot wait a while ar…

* I tried again this time a little bit again *

Perodua Myvi : * flash twice and sped off *

Me: * kept quiet *

* I tried again *

Another unknown car: * honk honk *

My wife: I tak boleh tahan…

* she walked out before I could said a thing *

Me: Oi! Oi! What are you doing?!

My wife: Just keep quiet and wait for my signal!

My wife: * Walk into the middle of the road, put out her hand to stop the moving cars *

Honda Accord: * Stop *

Me: Fuyooh…

My wife: * Signal me to reverse *

Me: Oh yeah… low poh long life!

That is how I got out of my parking space and headed home.

Tell me my readers, what is the point of having a reverse backlight when no one even bother to slow down for you to reverse from your parking space. I think Malaysian drivers need to know how to slow down in a place full of parked cars. Do you really stop or slow down your car when you see a car in front of you wants to reverse out from his or her parking space? I don’t think so that Malaysians will slow down in their driving even in a car park filled with cars.

Is sky the limit… what is the point of having a reverse light?!

What would you do if this happens?

2006-09-14T17:06:00.000+08:00

Recently, my wife's aunt's Proton Waja was stolen. After she made her police report, she got a call from the thief demanding RM5000 from her. But the deal is, she can only get back her car without an engine. Furthermore, the thief even asked why did she called the police. I think he deserves to be a thief. Why do i said that? That is because the only thing a human can possibly do the most common sense thing is to file a police report on car theft. Right? He could go on to think that he can return her car with an amount of money in return. But then, the worse is, he was also smart enough just to return the car without the engine. I wonder what is going on in this world. Let imagine her husband's conversation with the smartass thief:

Ah beng : Hello?
Ah Chiak : Hello... I got your car. If you want your car back then you have to pay RM5000.

Ah beng : But i alredy make police report wor....
Ah Chiak : Why you make police report lar? I give you back your car mar... in return for RM5000 mar...

Ah beng : * calculate calculate * KNN... you go eat shit... * hang up *

Then after a few days, the police returned to Ah Beng,

Mr Police : I'm soli, Mr Beng, your car is burned like charcoal... can you come identified it?
Ah beng : ok ok....

At the site,

Ah beng : Nya sing... pandai or...they curi my engine and burn my car only... no wonder RM5000 saja... very waja...
Mr. Police : *__* ""

Me: Damn lar... if people curi my car i would make police report mar. Where got so crazy not make police report wor... KNN... if everyone like that wait for the thief to call and get your car.. wah lau... like that i better buy second hand car lar... mah fuh lat... hai... i dunno what to say anymore...

By the way, her car was burned beyond recognition...

is sky the limit... I got your little bird bird... give me RM5000... why you call the police lar?!

To my friend who was left in a rut to mend shit...

2006-09-14T09:32:00.000+08:00

Note: Someone who was so sad for the rest of her term. I feel sad for her too.

As a friend staying at someone else house, you should know where you stand and don’t go over the limit. As a friend again, you should own up your own mistakes and don't let your friend take up your shit.

Incident 1:

My friend was accused for not paying up electrical and water bills for three months. The owner demand an explanation for the rental too. In actual fact, everyone has left the house without a word. The poor girl, too, was also surprise to see them all gone one day when she return home. She had a hard time explaining to the owner. In the end, she had to make a police report in order to justify that she is innocent .

Everyone left the house without a word of explanation. This included her friend whom she invited to stay with her. At least if you decided to leave you should settle your bills and informed people so that there will be accountability. She felt so betrayed by her friend and her housemates. All of them were rich girls and they could afford shoes and clothing but they couldn’t afford the monthly bills. All were forced down into my friend’s throat.

Furthermore, that is not the end of it, in the school she was accused again by her very same friend who had left without explanation. She was scolded by the principal for not befriending that girl. Let me say this straight,

To the girl who accused my friend, 'Blardy hell, you don’t pay the electrical and water bill for three months, you left without word and I have to take up all your shit. Now you dare to tell the principal I am not befriending you?! Go get a life!'

Incident 2:

My friend was again scolded by the principal because that girl who left my friend in a rut to mend things back accused her for not returning back her deposit.

Tell me, if you being the host and rent out a room to someone who is not responsible and left you in heaps of bills to pay. Not only that, he or she left without saying a word. Would you want to pay the deposit back?

This is what I will say to the irresponsible person, 'Please pay up the last three months bills first. Clean up the room again and the toilet you had dirtied then I will consider whether to give you back your deposit. Then go back to the principal and tell her its your fault!'

This is so unfair that my friend had to be treated this way when in the first place she invited her to stay with her because she couldn’t find a room. Out of kindness, this is what she get in return. Don’t worry, in this world there is one thing I always believe in and that is called KARMA.

is sky the limit... why you dun wan to friend friend her?

Si Nenek bercakap, "Laparlah saya... tolonglah saya"

2006-09-10T12:19:00.000+08:00

In case you do not know what is my title about for today, let me interpret it for you. It means the following below.

"Granny said, 'I am hungry... help me, please'"

What do you think of this statement? Sounded awful and felt very pity right? You can try to imagining an old frail lady begging for food in a food stall. However, the story goes the other way and it occured TWICE.

One day in 1 Utama at the food court,

Me and Florence : * yum yum - enjoying our claypot mee and fried rice *

* an old lady holding something came to our table *

Old Lady : Help me, young man, buy this pen from me, so i can eat...
Me : err... no thank you, auntie... i am not interested...

Old Lady : Help me lar, this pen is RM5 only, i have not eat for whole day...
Me : err... sorry auntie, i'm really not interested in buying that pen...

Old Lady : You don't buy, I don't have money to eat lar... help me... I am hungry...
Me : *_*"" - started to feel guilty...

Old Lady : * she moves on to the next table *
Me : * i looked at my wife and then i looked at my plate of fried rice... damn i felt so GUILTY *

Me : Ok ok lar... i buy that pen from you lar...

* The old lady gone... missing... no where to be found *

After one month and forgotten, it happened again,

Me and Florence : * yum yum - having laksa and rojak mee *

* old lady appear at our table again *

Old Lady : Help me... buy a pen... so i can eat... please
Me : * gulp *

* she looked at my wife *

Florence : * Politely shook her head to refuse her *
Me : Sorry, I am not interested...

Old Lady : Help me... if you don't buy my pen... how can i buy food?

* she hunched forward and looked at our food, Yes, Yes, i am not joking, she did just that. She bend forward and looked at our food. No kidding! She really bend over to look at our food! Seriously... *

Me and Florence : * we looked at each other... dumbfound by her actions! *

Old Lady : * She walked to the next table *
Me : * I felt so bad and so GUILTY again! *

Me : Ayo... Can someone of her relatives do something about it? Really TBT!!!!

Now i am avoiding the 1-Utama food court. If can't i just try to finish as fast as possible and leave. It's not that i don't want to help strangers. She got one big box of pens on her left hand and one pen on her right hand to sell it. I know that even if i can give her RM10 for 3 pens, i think she will still continue to do her thing. For the last two weeks, i was felt so guilty. Then came second again.

Do you think i should buy something from old people when they come to my table?

PS: TBT - Tak Boleh Tahan

is sky the limit... will her relatives please go and help her... please!

A stumble upon a Bangladeshi selling chestnut

2006-09-05T14:28:00.000+08:00

Last week, a conversation with a Bangladeshi worker selling chestnut oppostite Jusco supermarket in 1-Utama made me think of a few things. The conversation was something like below:

Chestnut Seller : Malaysia good... very good... economy also good... prime minister good... goverment very good...

Me : Really?

CS : Um... Um... very good.... * giving me the thumbs up *

Me : So you like staying here?

CS : Um... Um... Yes, here is good...

Me : I see... where is your hometown?

CS : Oh... I come from Bangladesh!

Me : Oh I see...

They are happy indeed to be able to come to work in Malaysia even with the lowest pay. And now i doubt that their low wages. I wish that i could say something good and be positive like them about my current pay...

Me : ... ayo ayo... maciam mana mau baik... petrol naik harga... roti naik harga... air naik harga... tapi itu pay ar... tarak naik harga... apa pun tarak baik... itu blardy LDP toll pun mau naik harrrga... makan pasirrr kali ini... tarrrrak baik ... tarrrrak baik... pay mesti naik... tak naik... tarak naik... tarak baikk...

(in translation, it means how can it be good when petrol price is up, bread price is up, water price is up but my pay there is no increment... then everything is no good... and even blardy LDP toll price plan to go up... eat sand this time... no good... no good... my pay must increase... no increase... no good)

Garment : Anda mesti jimat... baik untuk anda...

(in translation, it means you've to say and its good for you)

is sky the limit... A Bangladeshi and A Malaysian...

Yes, its up on the Mount Everest!!!

2006-08-29T17:32:00.000+08:00

Note: A long random MSN chat with Padmi - on CMMI

Padmi asked if there will be a interview session for CMMI, and here is how i go about whacking her question:

Me: yes, there will be an interrogation session... for cmmi...
padmi: wht time

Me: time at 1500 hours... you will be grilled
padmi: haiyoo

Me: with butter... and oil
padmi: 3.00 pm?

Me: by the ECCI... yes...
padmi: hmmm... well, i guess just go and look innocent

Me: meanwhile, get yourself brace up for the process and schedule variance and effort variance...
padmi: hmm...

padmi: can we hv a brainstorm among ourselves for a short time?
Me: no need...

Me: because the team intend to send you alone in the interogation room... and we will observe from the other side
padmi: ...

Me: don't worry... there will be a mirophone and earphone.. to communicate with us
padmi: ...

Me: rest assured... if you don't know just ahem... and we will respond
padmi: ...

Me: in case of ermergency, kerry will barge in to rescue you
padmi: ...

Me: she is your backup support...
padmi: *_*"""

Me: until you scream she will not be activated... you need to scream...
padmi: ...

William says: don't worry, the interrogation will take at least one hour...
padmi: ...

William says: i know its gruesome but its for the sake of your team... but you are the one!
padmi: oh boy

padmi: u need a vacation
Me: this mission is consider top secret

Me: so you will be go in alone... a stealth mission
padmi: yeah yeah

padmi: why am i stuck with a paranoid boss? Oh boy...
Me: by the way try to smile as much as you could like kerry...

Me: Muah hahahahahahahahaha...
padmi: "haa-haa"

padmi: he might think i am psycho
Me: no he won't think you as pyscho... most likely he will bring back his old memories during his younger days with his indian girlfriend...back in his hometown

* by the way, our appraisal is not an Indian doctor but a Thai doctor. *

padmi: u!
Me: ok ok i am going back to work

Gosh, i really need a vacation!

is sky the limit... ok, i am through! Go back to work!

When the computing world is slow!

2006-08-29T15:10:00.000+08:00

One day in an insane world, william and his lovely desktop was running the windows remote and this is what happen when the blardy network is so farking slow:

Me : Blardy... * whack whack * come lar... speed up lar...

Programming via Windows Remote : * taking its own sweet time to respond to me *

Me : Blardy... * getting out my hammer and a saw *

PVWR : * buzz buzz * - * I am on PMS *

Me : I don't care... just compiled my damn code and you can go eat shit!

PVWR : * buzz buzz * - * I am on PMS *

* lunchtime came,

Me: * munch munch * - * sulk sulk *

Padmi, Kerry, Mitchelle: Dun lar masam muka... computer only mar...

* lunchtime gone,

Me : blardy... * whack whack *

PVWR : * buzz buzz * - * I am on PMS *

Me : blardy hell... * CTRL-TAB * - * read MichaelOoi.com and Drliew.net *

Blardy hell, this is the slowest programming i ever done in my whole blardy life!

is sky the limit... fark... i hate working via windows remotely!

I am bored... are you?

2006-08-28T16:40:00.000+08:00

Disturbing Abang Loy,

Bang Loy : Willi!
William : Yup...

Bang Loy : I am bored, Willi...
William : So am I...

After 15 minutes,

William : Bang Loy!
Bang Loy : ...

William : I am bored, Bang Loy...
Bang Loy : I know...

Disturbing Abang Lee,

William : Bang Lee!

Bang Lee : Yes...

William : I am bored...

Bang Lee : You've got Bang Loy mar...

William : I know...

Bang Lee : go call Danni lar...

William : tiu...

Damn this entry is so gay... ok ok... back to work...

is sky the limit... nothing special but going around disturbing people...

Just do it... loud and clear... I wan PANGSAI!

2006-08-22T08:03:00.000+08:00

Last two days, my wife, her sister and me were having a late night dinner. So there after, this is what happens,

Sister : Eh, cepat-cepat minum and bayar lar... and you, cepat makan and drive faster ok?

Me: huh? why lar... just lepas makan... slow lar...

Wife: * look at her * you something wrong ar?

Sister : No lar, just want to do something lar...

Wife : Tell lar... what do you want to do?

Me : Yalor... drive faster... nanti accident... who responsible? Berhati-hati di jalan raya.

Sister : Aiyah... i tak boleh tahan mau... 'oh si'... * paiseh *

Wife : Aiyor... say so lar... why lar have to be so malu-malu?

Sister : In a restaurant lar, everyone eating lar... what you expect? Say out loud like, "Eh, sis i wan to pangsai? I want to berak ar?"

Wife : Yalar... say loud mar... then how do we know you want to berak?

Me : *_*""""" ... * i am having my last yam cake with stew pork *

Me : ok .. ok... i think its more than loud and clear.... i pay i pay... i drive fast fast... don't worry...

Wife and sister : hahahahahahaha...

Me : *_*"""

is sky the limit... 'scuse me... you got toilet paper... mau berak lar... tak boleh tahan!

Annoying People

2006-08-20T02:45:00.000+08:00

It's funny that we can actually meet new weird people everyday.

For example:[A lecture scenario]
Two students in conversation begins like this :

A : Hey how you going to do this?
B : Oh it's like this and this [explaining confidently.]

A : [Suddenly, gave a disgusted face!] Really?
B : Hmm, that's how it goes. [Felt annoyed]

A looked away to behind.B continued to do his work.

A asked the people sitting behind.
B still continue doing his work.A looked around.

A started to ask again.

A : Hey, how to do it?
B : Look, if you don't trust me. Why are you asking me?

A : I don't know how to do mah so I ask.
B : Dude, [in my heart : f**k you!] I already told you and if you don't trust me. Why are you asking me?

A : [He looked kind the been shot.] Looked away and do his work.
B : [Thinking in my heart: "Stupid people who don't know how to bring himself around and think he's a smartass."]

No more conversation till the end of class.

world is flat and is defining the word 'FREE'...

2006-08-18T15:08:00.000+08:00

Something struck off my mind today when thumbelina asked me this question.

'can you tell me what is free in this world?'
thumbelina

First of all, this question can be dissected into two parts. The world and the word free. Second, these two words does in one sense really intertwined with the today's world's society which is so greedy.

Lets talk of the world now. It's flat. Not round. Suck those scientist and i don't care. World is flat of increasing economic and my pay is still flat like roti canai. Fortunately, it is also one of the most marvellous place to live when we are so populated with gameshows of changing one destiny. Please feel free to enter freely and ready to be freely get kick around. Definitely, the world has something going on. Now that the world is so big (... and flat) but we all share one big great thing that definitely even a small kid knows about it. That is the word 'Free'. How often do we feel excited and happy when we heard the word free?

For example, some stranger told you this, 'hey you got a free coupon and you can win this product!' Those who are smart and street-wise may straight away condemn the person until his or hers innard come out plus to the extent of not being recognized by his or her mother.

'Louh tou lia ma tou um ying tak leh'
it mean, 'scold until your mom can't recognize you'

Of course, there are some who are not so unfortunate and greedily grab the opportunity and later to feel so regret with their own action. Oops, but you say its free right? Henceforth, why the notion of getting cheated? This is because the word free often clouded our mind. To one extend gleefully and happily accepting the product. Although one may argued it is not free but discount. Well, one wouldn't want to give it totally free so free up some cost for you to buy into their trick. As simple as it is.

Yes, the word 'Free' is two sided in today's world. The other side would be the totally free and you get it without the exchange of something in return from the receipient.

For example, let's say you go to pub or disco. You drink and you are merry. The number of drinks were un-countable and your friends are so fun. Even the drinks taste like Coca Cola. You just drink. Night were getting wilder. Then came one good looking girl or so you think. She was drunk and you were drunk. Both of you saw each other so handsome and so beautiful. The next thing that happen to you was the most beautiful night ever happen to you. You got yourself laid. Not even that, it was more than a few rounds. You always dread having to buy things and paid for it. So you get it free because someone is willing to be with it with you. However, there is always one back side to get things "free" freely. You dread yourself why you were not sober because she was one fat ugly lady.

Fortunately, free is not as bad as it seems. Try to remember the times you were in the uni when you have the best buddy in the word to help you out:

1. "CEO, come lar, belanja me lar, PTPTN belum masuk" - "Free" food

2. "Brother, can do this assignment for me ar? Dunno lar, you can do it wan, i know!" - "Free" ride

3. " hic.. hic.. you are beau..tipoo hic.. hic... yum sing! lets come back to my house... you sweet thing" - "Free" F**K

4. "Murah!! Murah!! RM3 Buy One!! Free One!! - "Free" pirated VCD and those were the heydays!5. "I can pay my workers with peanuts!" - "Free" Slaves
6. You may add to this list... as long as you can think of the word free...

Now, the big question is, "do you think everything is free?" Blardy hell, even the air is not free. Why? Because we need to buy air filter and air ionizer. Otherwise, you die! Damn, those haze is coming back to Malaysia. Free is so subjective nowadays!

is sky the limit... let's be free and be happy!

COC with his mind on insurance...

2006-08-17T13:46:00.000+08:00

Today, COC who had not spoken to me since the last deepavali popped out in IM. The conversation was something like below:

COC: Hey william, how are you?

Me: Fine dude...

COC: Why never see you with COE and COM? Very busy meh?

Me: A bit lar... got so many things to tend to lar...

COC: still in the same job...?

Me: Yeah...

COC: got changed job ar?

Me: No lar... why you change already?

COC: yeah... i am doing insurance...

* ahaks... i smell insurance in IM... *

Me: oh... full time or part time?

COC: currently part time... see lar later... if good then full time lar...

Me: Hey, by the way after so long of absence, now only you call me up, please dun tell me that you want to talk to me about insurance ar?

COC: Ar... dun like that lar... just want to see whether your policy covers everything you needed mar... i read policy...

Although some parts of the conversation was something like that. It never fails to amuse me by my own gang. I am for one who won't go sell insurance, trust or direct sales stuffs yet it never fails for them to come to me. You can just notice the long absence of your friends and all of a sudden they just show up with a big smile or a big grin on their face.

is sky the limit... your policy not enough, come buy my one lar, its better, more coverage...

Pesky lucky draw salesmen! Cases of cheating people with lucky draws or coupons... BEWARE!

2006-08-16T08:00:00.000+08:00

Just yesterday afterwork, i was again approach by another one of those pesky lucky draw salesman. This time their approach was different and my mood was different also:

Pesky Lucky Draw Salesman : Mr! Mr! Mr! * He came running to me *
Me: * ignoring him *

PLDS : Don't scold me first... i have here a coupon and i just need a minute from you.
Me: * I looked at him trying to figure out what is the world is processing in his pea brain to con me! * Yeah what do you want?

PLDS : You see, i represent a retail outlet from TIMES Square, and this coupon allows you to buy things with discount. All you have to do is open this coupon. If you see, "Thank you" then you filled up my particulars and i will leave. If you see, "You got discount" then you can keep this coupon and i will leave.

* Actually i can't remember if i need to fill up my particulars or his particulars but i don't care... *

Me : Oh like that ar... if that's the case, i take this home and see first lar... you can leave now!
PLDS : No.. no... you have to do it now...

Me : What chun toi (in cantonese it means "testicles) talk you are talking about i can't take home and read?! You give me this coupon mar... i take it home and read on my own time lar... you give it to me mar... besides, this is like scratch and win mar... why do it now? Trying to cheat others like in the newspaper ar?!

* I am still ignoring him and scrutinizing the coupon *

PLDS : Come on lar... Mr... I don't con you wan... you do it now...i can go back and claim my commission for distributing this...

Me : * I flipped at the back to see the instruction *

Dear readers,

The instruction are all blurred up and very small. I think you know what i am talking about here already!

Me : No thank you.

PLDS : Thank you sir.

Just be careful and not to talk to them. This place happened in the open parking opposite Taman Jaya LRT station and beside AMCORP Mall.

is sky the limit... are you trying to con me?

One Sub Zero... 50% experience gain... Car Accident!

2006-08-14T10:18:00.000+08:00

"...as soon as he opened his eyes, he was like seeing the driver nodding off
then the car was near to the divider on the left side..."
- crude hasting

Damn, you all should have whacked the driver for drinking... You kids are nuts! If anything happen how to you guys and girls... what am i going to do?

"...the journey that got him 50% extra experience, do not let a driver on his own especially even he said he took ONLY one bottle of vodka.He geleng his kepala..."

- crude hasting

Got 50% extra experience and a geleng kepala?! I am going to give him a 101% wallop and twist his geleng-ed kepala! Shame! Shame!

If mom knows about this... she is going to "nyah sing" you to the max!!!!

is sky the limit... drink driving...

50 hours disappearance : part II

2006-08-13T02:02:00.000+08:00

[So it was decided.]
Everyone went to the social night at Melaka.

[The author can't remember the name of the place.]
It was a pub and everyone went inside. Everyone got themselves a drink except one for her own personal reason.

There was one junior, J, he took four Heineken and a Vodka.

"I think I'll have a bottle of vodka, Sub-Zero."

He then brought the drink to a junior and dance with her.

[Not long.]
He terrible cough choked him out of the club and got himself a fresh air with another junior. Then it was time to leave the place as the leader promised leaving the parameter at 12 a.m.

Both driver got themselves a bottle of vodka admidst the tiring day of three days event.

[Screwed these driver for they be having another 3 or 4 hours of journey before everyone reached home safely and it's was 12 a.m.]

Everyone onboard and ready to leave.

[.. tiring ..]

[.. he closed his eyes ..]

[Quite long in the middle of the night through the highway...]

Suddenly, a loud sound was heard [Bang!] then the car spinned!

Spin and spin. [It spun twice in the middle of the road.]

[Looking around it was lucky that there were no cars around!]

The driver drove the car to aside and inspect.

[The seat next to the driver had a window broke and a long line of scratch along the side of the car.]

Everyone were wide awake and startled!

Everyone checked of the safety.

[Everyone fine.]
He was thinking back what happened,

"as soon as he opened his eyes, he was like seeing the driver nodding off then the car was near to the divider on the left side..."

[Anyway...]
Everyone got back to the car and try to drive home safely and slowly with emergency lights on along the way.

[Got home after a short time with everyone eyes wide opened.]
Sent the panicked juniors home and he reached his place safely.

It was a very tiring journey for him to make sure the junior was safe and trying to comfort a panic striken junior.

He doze off on his cozy pillow.

-The journey that got him 50% extra experience, do not let a driver on his own especially even he said he took ONLY one bottle of vodka.

He geleng his kepala.

[Back to the current day.]

The little kid stared blankly at him.

"Hmm, I'm not sure whether you get it or not. Don't drink and drive, kid!"

"Go now, play your sand castle."

The little kid went back to his place.

He then straighten up his shirt and walked away, strolling along the road towards the sunset. There will be another day for his experience.

50 hours disappearance : part I

2006-08-11T18:59:00.000+08:00

As he blinked into the scene with emitting a powerful aura, a boy was just nearby the playground toying around with a sandbox.

[The little kid startled]

Little kid : Hey, it's the mysterious man!

It's been awhile since he left the place to venture into a more exciting thrilling event in the outer world called UiTM.

He urged the kid forward and decided to tell the little kid the experience he came across.

It all began on a Thursday night when it was cooling night with little wind blewing across the street and his phone rang. He picked it up and it was the leader of the group. It was a wake up call. He clean himself and ready by 4 am. An Iswara car appeared just outside his house. With a few more of his teammates were already in the car. All this was just like Harry Porter but no, he isn't Harry.

He jumped into the car and ready to depart. Straight to UiTM was everyone in the car aim. It was the longest 50 hour non - stop debating event organized by UiTM to break the Malaysia Book of Record.

[the Longest 50 Hours Non-Stop Debating event. A three days event.]

With all due luck, force and soul, everyone reached there early and shine with high hopes of anticipation.

[Upon reaching the new world, UiTM]

He was greeted by the dean of the communication department. She was in the middle age and a little over size. No offense but she's nice.

At 10am, the runners asked him to look at the schedule for the event.

[Looked up and down for it.]

Found his name for the third event which meant he be shooting people on the third round. No, he won't be killing anyone. Shooting as in literally.

The motion was "this house would take away television advertisement from children."

Eventually, he went through his first round. It was screwed up. Definition uncleared by his first speaker and it was shot dead right through the forehead by the closing government speaker. He did his best to do damage control. Anyway, the purpose of the event was to make it non-stop 50 hours debate so there won't be any adjudicators (the judges) giving winning or losing points.

[After his first round]

He walked around, met old faces and new faces in the debating scene. He tried to cheer his apprentices and guide them to debating scene. Anyway, it was an exposure.

[2nd day]
He decided to take another round of debate.

The motion was "this house would use pornography."

It was a great motion to debate on a hot day. He went through the debate well. After that, he stayed to watch his apprentices debate.

[Night event]
The team decided to go for a supper and he hop in for a meal after a long tiring day at 2.00 a.m. looking for "Bak Ku Teh" but in vain. So the driver went to a mamak store instead. He wasn't driving but laying drowsily at the backseat with another apprentice called Tan.

As the driver swirled the car near the mamak store and waiting for the second car to come. Another car in front, started it engine and bang on our car. Head on head.

"Wow, I just woke and the minute I opened my eyes, I saw that car came straight at us without looking the front!"

Luckily, it was only the bumper that fall on the ground. If it was anything serious like the engine or the compartment inside, all the people in the car will be in deep shit.

Both driver came out and negotiate.

He was the first one out to investigate the problem.

Negotiation took place for half an hour with a busybody mechanic poking his business.

Finally, the decision was to meet the clumsy guy tomorrow for a compensation.

At the end of that event was having his meal at a mamak store instead of "bak ku teh" and with a bang.

[Third day, the closing ceremony.]
He couldn't make it to the closing ceremony because he had to follow the driver.

Whole process of repairing took almost 2 hours. Missed the ceremony and the weather was like the Sahara Desert.

Went home withour any satisfaction because he didn't manage to watch the ending.

C.Luke, the "team leader" came out another "splendid" idea of going to MMU Melaka to watch the debate and social night. That's so not thoughtful!

[Third day, night event]
By the time, everyone reached MMU Melaka it was already evening. Everyone managed to watch a round of debate and it's already night.

Now, the internal debate start when C.Luke proposed to stay for the social night. Some opposed and some agreed. But what astonishing was C.Luke said one car will be staying and another car will leaving home. Since C.Luke and Roy was the only two drivers, when both of these drivers want to stay, who's driving? The iswara belongs to someone else, and C.Luke was given the responsibility over it.

Therefore, some commotion arises from the apprentices that want to go home.

[To be continue..]

First Malaysian SAP SDN Member on SAP World Map!

2006-07-28T15:19:00.000+08:00

Bangga Dan Kembang! First Malaysian SAP Developer Network Member in SAP World Map!

is sky the limit... oh yeah... sky is sure not the limit... hahahahaha...

100 Things Man Should Learn From MeiTheMeow

2006-07-27T08:19:00.000+08:00

Recently, i got to know one blog, owned by Mei, and found one of her entries very veli interesting. In that entry, there was a list of things, or should i say guidelines, that a man should learn.

Of that 100 items in the list, there is one that seriously caught my attention:

22. If you want more sex, tell your girl an attractive woman hit on you
that day. Sixty percent of the time, it works every time.

Is sky the limit... hmm... let me see if there any leng luis around... hehehehe...

I was conned RM660.85 - Part 2

2006-07-26T11:35:00.000+08:00

Here is my continuation ordeal on my whole weekend. It is so tormenting and I am still suffering from this whole devilish incident.

Boss of the restaurant came out with his hood from the kitchen after one waiter went to inform him about our incident.

Boss: You don’t want to pay?
Me: Not that I don’t want to pay but its RM660.85. My order is not that and your cashier believe some stranger who claimed to be my sister included their meal in my bill. All total to RM660.85. My god its almost RM700!

Boss: You got to pay!
Me: Well, I am not paying for this bloody amount! You can call the police!

Boss: So you think you can get away with this?
Me: Yes, I am right. I will only pay for the portion I am held accountable.

* Police arrived *

After another half an hour of discussion with the owner, police and me, I was told
this,

Police: I’m sorry, the culprit is gone. Food has been served and consumed and the culprit is gone too. Now that the bill has been charged, you might just settle the bill. We can’t do much about it.

Me: WTF?

After minutes later, I just signed the whole damn receipt with my credit card.

Me: Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…. RM660.85 of dinner… Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… Arghhhhhhhhhhh…

Then,

Wife: Oi! Oi! You bising bising buat apa?! Kacau orang tengok Korean drama… Tidor pun bising… Makan pun bising… Pangsai pun bising! Apa you tak bising? Huh! Huh!...
Me: Hehehehe… I was dreaming, low poh…

Wife: Dream! Dream! Only eat and sleep like a pig… what you dream?
Me; I dream I got conned RM660.85 lar… we went to seafood restaurant and one girl claimed to be my sister told the cashier that I will be paying for her mar… then this receipt I signed with credit card… I lost RM660.85…

Wife: PLEASE LAR… dream lost RM660.85 only mar… there are people got conned more than you lar… ar cheh! Lost RM660.85 also want to scream. Dah lar hari hari kiamsap… tidor pun mau kiamsap… PIIIGI lar!
Me; sob sob… sorry sorry… I go back to sleep…

Thank god, it is just a dream. I am so relieved. Kiamsap? No lar, I am not kiamsap… er, maybe I am kiamsap. Hehehehehe…

Is sky the limit… just dreaming only...

I was conned RM660.85 - Part 1

2006-07-25T08:28:00.000+08:00

I was conned RM660.85 from a lady who accused she was my sister. I was so pissed off and now I am having Cintan Mee for dinner. Here is my story:

I was going to have my dinner with my wife who was there waiting for me. That night we intended to have crabs, prawns and some oysters. Yes, it was my wife’s idea to have seafood in the afternoon. After my meeting, I rushed straight to that place. Upon reaching the place, I found the place not so crowded and took my seat.

Dinner started and crabs, prawns, oysters, and fish were brought to our table. Suddenly, a beautiful girl came to our table. Both my wife and she greeted and started chatting. I thought she must be my wife’s friend because she was talking to her; laughing and talked throughout the meal. Not before long, the guest left and so we continued our dinner.

At the cashier, the receipt showed to me was amount RM660.85! I was immediately freeze and I just could not looked away from amount. It was so expensive! I looked backed at the cashier and asked if this receipt from my table. She nodded her head. I could not believe our dinner cost this much. Bloody. I immediately looked over the items billed in the receipt.

Me: * scanned scanned * eh, I did not order abalone or shark fin soup, and then this sea cucumber and mud crab king… plus those bottles of Heineken… can you just check again?
Cashier: No, the girl who sat with your wife and you just now said you
will pay for their meal…

Me: WTF?! Say that again! Which girl you see I told to charge into my bill?
Cashier: Sir, are you trying to not to pay this? Please pay, it was she who told you that you are her brother and will pay for her dinner…

Me and wife: WTF?! I don’t have a sister… your sister is in Labuan… WTF?!

* I got panic *

Cashier: Please pay up!
Me: * WTF who in the right mind will bring RM600 for one stupid dinner * It must be the lady you talked to. * I looked back at my wife *
Wife: No, I thought it was your friend. She said HI and started talking and I thought you knew her.

Me: *_* … * Please someone help me! I am seeing stars *

Cashier: Sir, if you don’t pay up I will call the police.
Me: Hey, its true that she is not my sister. You call the police? I also call the police.

Is sky the limit… to be continue

2.0.4 to 2.0.5 ISTL Support Upgrade

2006-07-21T11:01:00.000+08:00

Hi Readers,

ISTL : Episode 2 has just been upgraded from version 2.0.4 to version 2.0.5.

Items upgraded are as following:

1. RSS feed from ISTL : Technical blog into ISTL : Episode 2 so readers can get the latest update on my latest technical feed for SAP R/3 : ABAP works.

Hope you enjoy this technical blog and do also provide some technical feedback on my entries.

Thank you.

Regards,

ISTL Management

is sky the limit... upgrades 2.0.4 to 2.0.5

My most remembered piece of joke... written out for fun!

2006-07-20T11:46:00.000+08:00

The very last time i had an endeavour with Cosmoblogger was a year ago when she was still in my company (now that she is in Singapore) i created one piece of joke and sent it to everyone. She put it in her blog... kembang lar at that time... here is the recap of the entry:

Dear Customer,
I know that you had bought a software from our company, Software Husband version 1.0. You told us that once you have installed this software all other programs and files are either converted or not active anymore. In fact, this is an Operating System that will override any other operating system, system files and other programs like Boyfriend Flirt 2.1, Boyfriend Explorer 3.1 and etc.
Software Husband version 1.0 lets you get more advance features in Kitchen Management System and even improve your Cooking Library and Developer Network. Our design from the technical team acknowledges your concern. Our team said that it is our product feature and behavior.
When you finish installing, below are the following features Software Husband 1.0:
1. Shopping Spree Management & Monitoring Console 1.0
2. Women's Nightout
Management & Monitoring Console 1.0
3. Credit and Financial Control 1.0 (Optional if there is external Cash Memory)
4. Kitchen Management System & Upgrades
5. Cooking Library and Developer Network (CLDN)
6. Home and Environment Management System 1.0
7. Kids and Baby Supervision System 1.0
8. Laundry Management System 1.0
Beside that, you will also get a new tool:
6. Hierarchical Family Planning and Development Tool
Feature 6 is for love, child planning and development and it is a great feature coz it has a lot of design and patterns and styles for you to use with Software Husband 1.0.
Feature 6 is a core tool that comes with the package.
Regardless of all the above feature, you should be aware that you are only entitle to one Software Husband 1.0. Licensing fees is included in the Software Matrimonial Package. It is for life and guaranteed but you are advice to get the Husband Antiviral Software to protect him from sickness.
For you information, our company is having an upgrade right now. Here are the list of available upgrades you can select over time:
1. Software Husband Enterprise 1.1
2. Software Husband Professional 1.1
3. Software Husband Home Edition 1.1
4. Software Husband Extended 1.1
5. Software Husband for Student Edition 1.1 (This is only available if you are studying Home Sciences. Please present your Engagement card when purchasing)
Please Do Not Make Copies of your Software Husband 1.0.
Uninstalling this software requires Matrimonial Functional Consultant.
P/s: Add/Remove Program in your System does not have the Software Husband 1.0 icon. The system does not allow manual removal.
Thank you.
Yours Sincerely,
Software Husband Inc. 2005
Original letter composer: William aka wilstroth

This original copy of my joke written and published can still be found in her blog

is sky the limit... bringing out some old created jokes from jasmine aka cosmoblogger

You work... I also work... SO?

2006-07-17T14:14:00.000+08:00

There is one entry which I posted in May regarding my breakfast being interrupted by a very persistent salesperson who really made me so tulan. Last week on Friday it happened again. This was in the Amcorp Plaza parking opposite the Taman Jaya LRT station.

Promoter/Salesboy or anything lar : Mr! Mr! * came running up to me with his hand waving *

Me: * was getting ready to pack my stuffs into the trunk *

PSOA : Mr! Mr! Hi how are you? * smiling so wide *

Me: Yes?

PSOA : Do you know xxx... * before he could finish *

Me: No thank you, I am not interested.

PSOA : No, I am not selling you things so want to let you know if you know anything... * before he could finish *

Me: No, I am not interested and I don't want to know...

* In fact, i know what is he about to say because there is this girl who had talked to me from their same group. In fact, i recognized this guy's face too... *

PSOA : Mr, Don't lar like that... i am not selling you anything... i just want you to know XXX if you can just... * before he could finish *

Me: No, I am not interested. Go find someone else...

* This guy is blocking my way and i need to get into the driver's seat...

PSOA : No lar Mr, i am not selling you anything... just want to let you know...

Me: * Holding one mineral water up and pointing at him * hey you, I said only once, I AM NOT INTERESTED... grrr.... * I looked at him angrily *

PSOA : ok ok... don't lar get so angry... i am just trying to earn a few dollars... you working... i working...

Me: F**k you.... you working... your problem... i working... none of your f**king business... everybody is working and getting screwed... you working so what? get lost or i call the police...

PSOA : Dun lar get angry... hehehe... just want to promote...

* I threw down my backpack on the floor that instant and grabbed my umbrella readied to swing at him *

Me: What!!! What the f**k you want to tell!? huh? huh? Come nearer to me... Come! What?! Come lar closer to me!

PSOA : ok ok... * he moved away *

Me: * started my car engine and swerved off *

Shit man... i just had a long tiring day in the PIKOM's fair and my shoulder slung with a heavy notebook and my own backpack. Plus the long ride of crowded LRT. My only wish is to reach home peacefully, bath and sleep.

Who wants to care whether you work or don't work?! Sell or don't sell?! Everybody works and sell something (including selling arse). Don't come whining to me when you can't do whatever you want in the public street. Selling or promoting i don't care.

Just don't go on further when i say, "No, thank you. I am not interested."

I don't need anger management and yes I have sudden scary outburst...

is sky the limit... what?! what do you want?

Men will Crack and Women will Pop!

2006-07-17T13:56:00.000+08:00

Hi, lets take a look at another of my twisted mind. Say you are a man and when you wake up you have become a woman. The same goes for ladies. Again, say you are a lady and when you wake up you have become the world most beautiful lady. Now here is the catch.

If you wake up as a man then all the men in this world has become ladies. Now, when you wake up you get ready to go to work. It is peaceful and quiet. No highway jams. The roads are empty. Not a single soul. The traffic light are left blinking on its own. The giant malls are so eerily quiet. You reach your working place. The parking lot is empty. No security guards and no people. It is so quiet that you only heard yourself.

You walked to the lift and goes up to your department. As you enter, you see millions of cubicle stretch to the end of the department. You see no heads or others. Just plain empty. Except for the ticking of the clock. You give a loud sighed and walked to your cubicle. The moment you confirm your buttock on the chair you hear someone giggling. You looked the right and to the left. No one. You start to wonder if its your mind.

The moment you looked at your screen you see a silhouette of a lady standing behind you. Is it a reflection of something else or is it really someone. Immediately you turned to the back to see who was it. A lady in red. She was dressed in the most beautiful dress. She looked at you and smiled. Of course, you being a gentleman you need to smile back. You were peculiar with her standing behind you and asked her why she was there. She just laughed non stop. A man’s laughing voice. Not to forget, that you have woke up as a man but originally a woman. So your voice is very feminine.

Understandably, if you happen to see someone suddenly appear behind you, you would like run very fast because it might be some specter. Therefore, I shall asked you to run as fast as possible. But more and more ladies appear from the floor. Until you could not reach the lift. Your heart thumping faster and faster. There is a fire stairs but it is also block by another lady. They are coming nearer and nearer to you. Your mind start to reel up ideas to escape. In one attempt, you ran as fast as you could and hit the windows, crashed and you have leaped off the building. You are falling so fast that you are going to hit the ground any moment. Unfortunately, you did not stop falling. Instantly you are kept afloat. More and more ladies stay afloat and surrounded you. You asked them this question, “What do you all want?”

If you don’t understand my story that is not a necessary for you to do so because it is intentionally written like that to keep your mind thinking of today’s world of human relationship. It could represent many variables of ideas in a rapidly moving society.

I leave you to your thinking and form your own wildest dream. I end here with another of my twisted yet cryptic ideas.

Is sky the limit… Confusion and nevertheless you do not know the answer… think again!

Blogs are bursting and millions are expressing… I blog!

2006-07-11T14:43:00.000+08:00

This blog of mine has reached its one year and four months old. Another 6 months and one year to go before it bid its last entry in episode 3. There are many times I asked myself why did I started blogging. Here is a story of my twisted mind.

Once upon a time, there was this loner in one of millions of cubicles in the cubic world. Everyone lived in a cubicle. They eat, sleep, play and shit in their cubicles. Although there are a few loners in the cubic world but many of them are celebrity popsicles. Everywhere they go, people will definitely want some sweetness from these celebrity popsicles. One day, loners in the cubic world decided to have their own sweetness in fame. They started a group called expressers.

They expressed their feelings and concerns to the world of cubic. Each of them get to express their voice out to the citizen of cubicles. It took only one entry and they were shot to the sky like fire crackers. They were heard daily and increasingly more focus on their updates. Regardless if their concerns and feelings were humorous, serious, environmental, love, hatred, satirist or political but it was the only one part of them to let the world of cubic to know of their existence. World of cubic was equivalent to the millions of cubicle combine to become one big piece of the jigsaw puzzle. Just one expression, all other celebrity popsicles, loners, ragers, unfaithfuls, jokers, spouses, know it alls and many more expressionist will go remark on it.

As expressionist become more famous and elaborate yet a bit of generalization they become the bloggers. They will blog with words type in their mind and express into the form understood and readable by other blogsters and blogstanders. Blogstanders would just read and at times try to find flavours from different blogsters. In contrast to blogstanders, blogster will contribute their expression as well as reading others to get a connection and be in part of the world of blogs. World of cubic also slowly start to evolve and it eventually burst into millions of galaxies. Thus, it creates the island of blogs with different flavors.

Therefore, these flavors represented each blogsters own domain from the world of cubic outburst. Some eventually become tech blogs. Some eventually become social blogs. Some eventually become political blogs. Some eventually become family blogs. Some eventually become sex blogs. Some eventually become personal blogs. Some just pop and move on and form other type of alternative form of expression.

So the linkage of me in this world of cubic or should I say world of blogs infected me by another blogster who sees blogs as one way to communicate herself. Indeed, I was one of the loners in the world of cubic but eventually evolve too to become, not a celebrity popsicle, but another rat in a blog of maze. Blogging until I found the exit. That exit will be my last episode. Episode 3.

This is my story. The end.

Is sky the limit… blog of gateway to millions of unheard expressions…

Loans and Repayment... Owed and Paying

2006-07-10T15:16:00.000+08:00

Note: something to ponder when you are still a student or to someone who is yet paying it.

You know yourself that being a student can be sometime very difficult especially when it comes to money. Parents cannot afford all the luxury that you always wanted while in the university. Although you may try to scrimp and saved for every month so you can use your money to either buy books or stationeries for your assignments yet it is still not enough.

Student life in my time was a bit tough though i am still lucky enough to have my Kriss II modenas to move around freely. However, money was limited and need to save for every end of the month.

However, with the goverment help today, student's life is a little bit assisted and financial are not as tight as relying solely on their parents. Getting loan is one of the most happiest thing for every student. The loan i specifically mentioned here is the PTPTN. To some who pay full loan will be happy that they won't have to burden their family.

They can eat and study with their mind free from burden. Throughout their number of years of studies towards graduation, they are supported by PTPTN's funding. Even though sometimes the loan may come in late but still it will reach into their account to pay off their tuition fees, rent and basic necessities.

Although PTPTN is seen as a very goodwill and good thing to assist needy students but does all students repay back PTPTN?

Well, students should pay back because it is goverment money. Though one may argue those money are from the hard earned citizen like my Pa, my Ma, your Pa and your Ma. Unfortunately, that is not the case. If we see it on the overall picture we can actually re-cycle the whole fund that has been borrowed to previous loaners who repay PTPTN back. Therefore, it falls on to the shoulders of graduated students to repay back PTPTN. Paying back PTPTN not only does it help PTPTN to finance its new loaners but it also help PTPTN to reduce borrowing from other organizations to support its continual loaning services to new students.

After all, when you borrow you should repay. Yes, i am still repaying my loans and still got many moons to go before i am free from my government debt. It can be a heartache when you start repaying but its is still a responsibility. Over the years when you progress in your career and pay advancement I am sure the PTPTN repayment will be one small portion in your monthly bill payment. Unless you got other commitments then you will need to reevaluate your budget. Imagine, if PTPTN were to act like an Ah Long (Which they won't) come to your door and spray red paint demanding you to pay. Then it will look like this on your door step.

An Ah Long in action demanding payment

from my neighbor and it reads,

"Ah Lim, big con man, talk not honor, owed me money and not pay"

This picture was taken on several weeks ago when my opposite apartment neighbor had to fled an Ah Long who came that night to shift out all of his furnitures. This message was scribble across his apartment wall. It still can be seen until now.

But because PTPTN was setup to help needy students to get through their education by offering them a loan therefore being part of the society students should repay PTPTN's loan. And they tried to be lenient with the repayment but there are some who abused the system. Just imagine you had been hard on repaying your PTPTN and someone is not paying it.

For me, i will continue on paying my loans to PTPTN until I am release from it. Yes, getting the loan to study was easy and had helped me a lot but still it is a debt that has to be repay!

is sky the limit... students should pay... it's a debt...

Female Drivers Only...

2006-07-08T12:21:00.000+08:00

The other day, I was searching for a place to park when I noticed this parking attendant in Cineleisure Damansara ushered me to drive closer.

Wife: Eh, he is signaling you to driver closer lar.

* parking attendant flashing his fluorescent baton *

Me: yeah hor… then let us drive towards him.

Wife: Wah, nice new cinema with parking attendant ushering us… not bad…

* my car moved near the attendant and a car was reversing out *

Me: Wah… so good… he is finding a place for us… let's wait for this car to reverse out.

* the car left *

Me: Ok, let's park!

* suddenly, the parking attendant waved me to stop and pointed to the sign on the pillar *

Me: Cheh! Why ask me to come lar! You kacang ar?!

Wife: eh, what’s the matter? Park lar… he asked you mar…

Me; No lar… look!

* I pointed to the pillar *

Wife: Aaaa Cheeeh!... then why signaled us to come closer… he crazy ar?

Me: Nuts!

* So I drove to another packing space *

Not bad, Cineleisure Damansara has a parking spot near the entrance for the ladies. Ladies will feel safer now when they watch midnight movies.

Is sky the limit… ladies parking only…

True Adventures of William & Encik Polis

2006-07-04T14:04:00.000+08:00

It happen one year ago and my first fine in Ipoh. It always amused me when I think back. I did not get a ticket in KL but in Ipoh. So this was my first reaction when the police stopped me and fined me for speeding a red traffic light.

Encik Polis: You pandu tak henti dari traffic light sampai sini. Tak nampak saya ka?
Me: Err.. tidak.

Encik Polis: Ok, you tau kenapa saya panggil you berhenti?
Me: Err.. tidak.

Encik Polis: Ok, adakah you tau dah laku kesalahan traffic?
Me: Err.. tidak.

Encik Polis: Ok, biar saya cakap… anda telah melanggar isyarat lampu merah. Faham?
Me: Betul ka?

Encik Polis: Betul lar… you berhenti sebelah saya… then you just terus lalu red traffic light. Semua orang pun tengok saya. I know, you are in a rush. Tapi, semua orang tengok saya so I kena kejar you. Faham tak?
Me: Oh.. ok… sorry ar…

Encik Polis: Eh, you faham ka?
Me: Faham.. hehehehe…

Encik Polis: I terpaksa saman lu, you tau ka?
Me: Faham..

Encik Polis: So apa you nak buat sekarang?
Me: Tak tau…

Encik Polis: Ok lar, I terang proses untuk you.
Me: Ok.

Encik Polis: Sebab you dah langgar isyarat lampu merah so itu big kesalahan. Boleh denda points. Faham?
Me: Ok. Faham.

Encik Polis: Ambik license mari dan IC.
Me: Ok.. nah… * handling him my IC and car license *

Encik Polis: Ini kereta siapa?
Me: Ibu punya…

Encik Polis: So siapa bayar saman ini? You or ibu?
Me: Ibu…

Encik Polis: Eh, you belum kerja ka? RM300 oh… jangan main oh.. nanti ibu betul betul pukul lu…
Me: errr… baru start saja… * wink wink *... kereta ibu saya pakai mau jemput adik balik dari sekolah…

Encik Polis: Ok ok lar… kesian sama lu… nanti balik ibu marah… I tulis you tak pakai seat belt bayar RM70 cukup. You boleh hor?
Me: RM70.. boleh bayar sendiri…

Encik Polis: Ah, lain kali jangan terburu-buru. Nanti kemalangan macam mana. Kereta ini ibu punya. Kalo kereta sendiri takper lar…
Me: ok ok… thank you thank you…

Encik Polis: Ok ini saman, ini your ic dan ini your lessen. Pergi ke balai polis trafik di Ipoh dan bayar saman. Ok? Jangan langgar isyarat lampu lagi.
Me: ok ok.. .thank you thank you…

Wah… I am so kam tung! I terpaksa sedar diri and drive more carefully.

Is sky the limit… advice me some more… its my fault, I know.

Cinema Services I wish to exist!

2006-06-25T11:39:00.000+08:00

I wish I have this kind of services in the Malaysian cinemas not just the Gold Class:

Ticket operator: Hi, what movie would you like to watch?
Me: 9:30pm, -movie title-.

TO: Ok, how many person?
Me: Two.

TO: Here are the available seats, please select.
Me: K10 and K11, middle just nice.

Me: By the way can I have the reserve seats?
TO: There are only open to half an hour before movie start if no tickets collected.

Me: I don’t care, reservation are for lazy people. I am a genuine customer here and have preferred your cinemas over others. I queued for 20 minutes to get two tickets and which that 20 minutes I can used it to shop or walk around and spend my time efficiently. Doing so, your cinema secured my money of RM20 profit and not risk losing another RM20 because that jerk decided not to come.
TO: ok, a justifiable reason and here are the reserve seats. Please select.

Me: Row F10 and F11, please.

TO: Ok, are you genuine or sleeper?
Me: Genuine.

TO: Critic or non critic?
Me: Non critic… I will keep quiet. What about screaming kids and crying babies?

TO: We have another section for parental cinemas, Sir. I assured you that you will be place in a section meant for single and dating couples.

TO: Any other service that you want to request?
Me: Yes, please do not put me next to someone who stinks.

TO: what do you mean stinks?
Me: I will define it as mouth odor, body odor and feet odor in that sequence.

TO: Anymore request?
Me: Two plates of wan tan mee and two hot Gwai Lo tea at the beginning of the advertisement.

TO: Thank you, we will register it into our customer care database management system
Me: Welcome. Nice customer care service you have.

TO: Thank you. That will be RM20, 9:30pm, -movie title- and two persons. RM8.00 for two plates of wan tan mee and two hot Uncle Lipton tea. Total is RM28.00.

Me: * pay *

TO: Here are your tickets and meal order. Enjoy the movie.

Me: Thank you.

Is sky the limit… oh yeah!

Runaway Vacation or bored Scary Movie 4

2006-06-25T11:34:00.000+08:00

I find the comedy in Scary Movie 4 is not funny and quite bored too. Let us just go straight to Runaway Vacation with Robin Williams at the helm of the storyline. This movie is worth your ticket if you are unable to get Tokyo Drift. Robin Williams played a splendid dad trying to save his career at the same time trying to get in touch more with his family. Its nice and hilarious.

Though he promises them a nice warmth holiday in Hawaii but later due to a disastrous meeting at his boss reception had placed himself in a difficult position. In order to redeem himself as well as saving his job he has to cancel his Hawaii trip and go to Colorado. Though unwilling but after a discussion with his close friends, a Runaway Vacation (RV) was suggested and his family reluctantly accept it. The fun begins from there.

Girls, please bring along parents, kids, nephews and nieces but not your talkative and mouth stinking boyfriend. One guy sat next to me, talked and talked non stop from the beginning of the advertisement till the end. I pity his girlfriend. His mouth stinks and is disturbing me.

RV : * playing *
The guy: eh… dun mor my stomach after I get fat

RV: * playing *
The guy: ayo… I getting sleepy * then sigh – his mouth stinks *

RV: * playing *
The guy: ayo… I also dunno what I am going to do tomorrow… no car leh…

RV: * playing *
The guy: yak yak yak…

* Me beh tahan liao *

Me: Excuse me, if you are not going to stop speaking and sighing, I will need to ask you to exchange your seat with your girlfriend. Your girlfriend is beautiful, she is sexy, she is quiet and she doesn’t disturb me and this movie. Your cap sucks and your pants are ugly and is going to drop any moment. When your girlfriend sit next to me I will not hesitate to grab her hand and tell her to enjoy a nice quiet movie with me. Do you understand my feelings?

Ok ok… I made up the last part…

Is sky the limit… Runaway Vacation is good!

Last Papa Day discussion

2006-06-25T11:31:00.000+08:00

Note: I could not remember much of the true conversation but it goes something like below.

Papa Day was here last week and some of you would be busy trying to think of something for your Papa. Here is one instance of our last discussion on getting a gift for Padme’s Papa.

Padme: William, what should I get for my Papa for this Papa’s Day? Any idea?
Me: Let me see… what about watches?

Padme: No… no… Indians are pantang sending gifts as watches or clocks to people. No… no…
Me: No lar, I think clocks only is pantang lar…

Padme: No… no… really, Indians are pantang about it!
Me: But watches are not clocks. In Chinese, clocks are definitely a no no as a gift!

Padme: I see… but Indians pantang both lar.
Me: I see… any meaning to the watch ar? For Chinese, clock sounds like “giving one a funeral”… sung chung… sung means give and chung is clock…. So sung chung… sung chung… choi!

Padme, Michelle, Kerry: Hahahahahaha…
Me: What about Indians?

Padme: Don’t know… but I know its pantang…
Me: ok…

Me: What about handkerchief? At least you can tell your papa, “OK Papa, you don’t have to use your sleeve, your hand or tissue anymore. Use this from now onwards!”
Kerry and Michelle: Hahahahahaha….
Padme: Hahahahahaha… He doesn’t use handkerchief lar…

Me: Ok, what about pen? Nice to write and maybe can sign check for you…
Padme: Hahahahahaha… Pen? Hmmm… But he is retiring next year… I guess he will use less of it.

Me: Ok, what about tie? Get one of those nice silk and grey color tie. Its just RM30 and you get it from Jusco.
Padme: Hmmm…
Me: Ok, what about taking him out for a nice dinner? I did that earlier of the month.
Padme: Dinner… Hahahahahaha… he can’t eat certain food due to high cholesterol lar…

Me: Hahahahahaha.. you tell your Papa… once in a lifetime, Papa, I am going to take you to have Fish Head Curry, Freshwater Crabs Fried with Sultanah Eggs, some stir fried stuffs from one nice Chinese Restaurant. Don’t worry about cholesterol. Eat first, fear later… Muahahahahahaha….
Michelle, Hasni, Kerry, and Padme: hahahahahahahahahahaha…

Me: Ok lar.. what is your budget and what does your Papa like?
Padme: Actually, he wants a DVD player…

Me: Ok then.. go get him a DVD player…
Padme: Let me think first…

Me: Otherwise, you can always get a book titled Angels and Demons by Dan Brown. If he doesn’t want it you can always give it to me. I welcome it very much!
Michelle: Padme, I think he is implying something else already… Hahahahahaha…
Padme, Kerry and Hasni: Hahahahahahahahahahaha….

Alright, if you think that dinner is too small for a gift. Buy your dad something, treat him for dinner then a movie. I think some simple event like this will surely make your old man happy. Though there are 365 days to make your old man happy, angry and sad but at the end of the day, its all about being happy and feeling cherished by his sons and daughters..

Is sky the limit… you can buy your dad a flight ticket and send him on a tour!

She is back!

2006-06-25T11:19:00.000+08:00

Several weeks ago when my wife got back from her vacation.

Wife: Ooi! I’ve just gone for two weeks and now you are driving like this?! You want me to repeat those words again is it?Me: hehehehehe… sorry… sorry…

*
slows down from 110kmph to 90kmph,
obey traffic lights,
give signal before turning,
slows down at zebra crossing,
slows down at STOP sign before turning
slows down before parking
reduce overtaking slow driving cars
behaving nicely and smiled to every passing vehicle
*

Wife: Ok, now its much safer… hehehehehe…

* Suddenly, one stupid Kancil overtake me by force *

Me: NYAH SING! *(&(&*&$^&%$%$#%#^&^^&%#$#@!#$^%$#

* Showing the driver both of my middle fingers *

Wife: o_O”””… * she looked at my both hands then the steering wheel *

Is sky the limit… yup, she is back… my temper will be reduced and more controlled.

The Man of Steel is back!

2006-06-25T11:04:00.000+08:00

The man of steel is back!

Late Christopher Reeves should be very happy in his grave that his Superman’s movie has so much improve by modern computer graphic effects. Lets hope this movie is as good as the initial Superman.

* fingers crossed *

Is sky the limit… Superman is back!

When should a guy back off from pursuing further into a non-workable relationship?

2006-06-07T19:54:00.000+08:00

Note: Long entry.

This is a very rhetorical question. Some might be headstrong and still pursue in hope one day his lady of choice will pick him. Some might be a bit skeptical and go away. Some might stayed on a bit longer by trying to understand her more so his lady of choice will pick him. Some might just change their direction and focus another partner as in going away. However, men should understand the very nature of the woman’s mind plus perception and her architecture. Yet, I myself is still in the midst of bewilderment when it comes to the very issue of handling a woman.

In retrospect, we are not in the position to critic what or how they should be but with proper, suggestive and respectable approach will surely bring many lights to men who want to know more of a woman. In this entry, we shall not delve into handling of women because it requires art and having the heart of a treasure chest filled with honesty that is to be open by the women themselves. If only they really see that in you then you are blessed. With respect, women is not an object for self satisfaction but something very complex that requires a man true knowledge on himself what he should be looking for in a woman. You cannot just simply look for one when everyone has one. I can hardly fathom when my friends told me that all of their close friends are coupled up and they should be looking for one too. I was in that position last time but it had taken a toll on myself. Yet another story to tell. Back to reasoning why having a partner, solution is that I need to move on with something more serious and of course, practicality. I need love, that is a fact; and everyone needs love, no doubt. In that I took care of it with my own capability and time; not just because everyone has one or seems to have one. Period. My dear friend, time has it own uniqueness of telling its history and creating a future without you knowing it that the very next step it will be an unexplainable explanation.

Moving on to the very question of pursuing a lady who had given you so much hints that you should be moving away. I have seen guys who felt dejected and rejected at the tips from his lady. Being said so, human particularly man, sometimes takes time to understand words from a lady’s mouth. No being said it’s a word of encouragement a man hears. Yes being said it’s a word of doubt for many men. There are many acts and communications to be attested by both of them. Though mostly it falls onto men when women cried men wouldn’t listen. As part of men’s default nature, they are to be aggressive and would not take NO word for YES. In the cause of adrenaline and the very small processing thought very often men will feel depress until the verge of crying. Some may just feel depress only. In the word insanity, men will use extreme ways to fight words of deject and rejects. Yes, I am being straightforward in mentioning insanity to men who are fighting against themselves to win a lady’s heart when she is not interested in him in the first place. Respect and self awareness should be the very good action to respond to a lady’s NO.

Ladies are often left with no choice to tell men harshly that they are not entirely interested in them in the first place. First warning is always tender. The second will be to distance herself from him if he ignored the first. The third warning will always resulting in the end of a terrible war that will mark the end of the male pursuer. Not to say that there is no turn around, sometimes magic works like in the case of a lady changed of heart to fell for the man who she rejected in the first place. Yes, there are possibilities. However, I can only say, he, that man has a true heart. Unfortunately, a lady who gives multitude of hints to reject a man is something hardly the man will be able to be her partner in the future. Just because she is not for him. That is the respect the man should give. Men should neither threaten nor force and that is very despicable act to do. Primitive era has long gone with the clubs and dragging women to their caves. With modernization and globalization, women are not leaving themselves out and is competing with men for positions and wealth. Today, men no longer faced men in workplace but including women too.

This entry only covers one small part of the iceberg to modern world relationship.

Is sky the limit… it is ok that women said no and men should be obliged to respect it

Days of Mood

2006-06-07T19:48:00.000+08:00

Saturday is the Longest day, Sunday is the Shortest day,
Monday is the Heaviest day, Tuesday is the Slightly Better day,
Wednesday is the Dull day, Thursday is the Ever Good day
Friday is the Best day of the Days.

Is sky the limit… which is your day?

Counting Money and Unfortunate at-choo!

2006-06-07T19:41:00.000+08:00

I had another viewing of Davinci Code for the second time. The film was still full surprisingly after 3 weeks on the cinema. Davinci Code, I must say, until now ticketing booth are selling them like hotcakes. Then on that day, my brother make something out that I always joke. I think you have read that before somewhere in blog/

In one long queue, about to reach the booth:

Me: Eh, give me your money, its RM10.
My brother: Ok, * started counting *

My brother: RM1, RM2, RM3, RM4, RM5, RM6…
Me: * Looked at him in disbelief *

Me: ok ok… I pay for you… no worries… later return... * yes, i am kiamsap! *
My brother: hehehehehe… sorry ar…

Me: dun worry… dun worry… I pay… I pay…

Then tomorrow in the first cinema after Davinci started for half an hour, it got very cold and unfortunately I was in my favorite bermuda shorts and t-shirt. Neither both of us brought any sweater nor jacket. Then all of a sudden, I got the need to sneeze so I cup my mouth.

Me: Ah ah.. Ati-Chooooooooooooooo…. * I sneeze! *

Oh poor Leonardo! My hand was filled with my mucus!

Try to imagine what you will do in my position if both of you (brother or friends) have neither tissue nor handkerchief. Plus next to you is a beautiful girl and hope she did not notice your act in disposing your mucus. Lets guess.

Remember, your hand is filled with mucus!

Is sky the limit… God Bless You!

World of Tulan – Part 2

2006-06-06T14:26:00.000+08:00

Nevermind, its just business and you carried on with your other mundane office task. Lunchtime came and you were served with the usual. Everybody at the table also felt tulan because boss had issued a lame report that their sales are not doing well and restructuring may be a possibility. Tulan. You just continued on and you hope no problems from 2pm till 5:30pm. Wrong. A customer called up to complain that the product he bought yesterday is not working as expected as it was in the sales briefing. He got so tulan and cursed everyone from the company top level to the bottom level. Your boss held you responsible and you need to call up to the customer and try to leverage it. The customer shoot you maximum and you can’t just take it, you screamed and banged the phone. Everyone got up to look and even your boss. “I AM TULAN! WHAT THE F*&K!”, you cried. Everybody came over and try to console you. Your boss just looked at you and walked back to his cubicle. “Hmm… nowadays young people just do not have the patience… in my time”, your boss sighed and his olden days movie start to reel in his pathetic mind.

End of day, you felt so relieved, you happily packed home and felt the tulan feeling had subsided. Unfortunately, you just cannot believe your eyes. Your good Vios has been clamped. You parked at the wrong box. Tulan feeling again. You searched for the nearest security office and pay the fine. At that point, the security being a Myammar understand English little and is having some problem trying to catch what you were saying. You tried switching Malay and English languages with him. Finally, you gave up and drag him to your car. You pointed at that and said, “KNNMCHTNS, you clamped my car!” You indicated money and unclamped. Only he now understood, “lei chou kong lar!”. He can speaks Cantonese! So tulan you wish you just whip up a rifle and blast him off to where he came from.

Of course, you are now on your way home already. Traffic was so bad and you are now unable to move your car. Hunger pang strikes, you search your car’s glove box for some tidbits or biscuits. Yes, you do find it but it tasted so weird and soggy. It has expired. Now that bite of the big biscuit is in your mouth. Tissue box is empty and you can’t just PTUI in your car. Or even outside the car. Because you have to maintain your lady likeness. Who knows next to your car is a handsome man who is watching you doing such a unattractive way. You looked around. Ok, you are clear to do that. Once finish a called came. You were spotted by your colleague, the person you hated most in the office, and he teased you for such a disgusting person. You feel like hanging up his phone. Before doing so, maybe you will scream some profanities. You just laughed and say good bye and wish this lane would move. So embarrassed and tulan at the same time.

You reach your home and a pack of cold economy rice. While the economy rice is getting heated up in the microwave, you went into the bathroom for a dip. You slip in, smelled of lavender and its is nice and relaxing. After some time, you realize your microwave is still heating up. After some thoughts, you decided to go check out your food. Oh my god, you cried. The microwave is a broken and it won’t stop heating your poor food. Its now burnt economy rice. You cursed your day, your life for the moment, your dateless life, your pay, your loan, your scoundrel girlfriends, your boss, your company, your wan tan mee, your car, your economy food and the last, the traffic. Now you ended up with Meh G noodle. You just felt so taxed and felled asleep in the living room couch… POOOF!

It is just a dream. You finally wake up from that terrible tulan dream. You sweated and felt relieved. That is not going to happen. As you go to your toilet, you realized your toothpaste is finish and unknowingly you knocked down your favorite facial cleanser…

* Twiligh Zone music playing *

Disclaimer: This is just another story cocked up by me. It is not related to anyone or event in this particular entry. Even if it does, it is just purely coincidence and fictional.

Is sky the limit… * Twilight zone music playing *

World in Tulan – Part 1

2006-06-06T14:24:00.000+08:00

What will you do, say if you happen to be in one of the most lousiest day, that is everyone you meet or yourself is tulan about something? Never right? Shall we create one scenario? Lets get started.

One morning, you woke up, your toothpaste has finish and you knock down your favorite facial cleanser accidentally into the toilet bowl. You felt so tulan at it. Then, as you get dressed up for work your favorite panty hose tore or your favorite pants’ zip found broken. You felt tulan again.

Fine, on your way driving to work you decided to stop at one good wan tan mee stall to take away your favorite dry wan tan mee. You walked up and fail to balance your step while crossing the small drain. You nearly fell into it. Unfortunately your high heels is broken. Now you have to limp to the stall. You tulan again. At that stall, the seller is also tulan because his daughter or son did not want to help him at the stall. He is so tulan that he cooked your wan tan mee tulan-ly and his wife also pack and look tulan-ly at you. Everyone is so tulan in the morning.

Then reaching the office, you had forgotten your ID pass and now you have to wait for another half an hour so that when the first person arrives you can go in together. Not so tulan but you can sleep in the car for the moment. Unfortunately, the parking in the basement is so hot and stuffy. You need to go up to the lobby area in hoping that the cafeteria is open. Luckily it is open but they won’t let you in because no outside food allowed. You told him you will be ordering extras. Still the Indian macha shook his head and spoke the heaviest British accent you ever heard in your life, “No, I am sorry”. You and your wan tan mee have to go. Tulan again, you just go find one place to sit, eat and wait. After half an hour, you noticed there is some small stain of wan tan mee gravy on your best blouse. You wanted scream and punch people but you need to maintain your coolness as more people are coming into the lobby to work. Immediately, you go to the nearest toilet. All bear the sign, “ROSAK”. So tulan, you just ignored it and went up.

Finally, the receptionist is there to open your door for you. You reach your cubicle to found out a virus has infected your pc reported by the technician. The virus will cause your pc to run very slow. Again, you have to wait for your emails to pop out, you reply late, you send late, you get the latest info later than everybody. Even work is slow. All due to the virus. Tulan! At least, you can claimed, “It’s the virus, you know what it will do lar.” You sighed and accept the fact that the technician working their best to looking for an antidote or tool to clean your pc. Meeting came and go without one of your ideas being accepted plus subjected to words of challenge from your peers. Tulan. You tried to shout, “what the hell do you know?! You just sit there, eat and get fat like a pig! My ideas, you asked, you reject, then you take it for your own credit! Tulan! Tulan!” However, that is so unprofessional. Tulan again.

Is sky the limit… to be continue…

Doctor very tired… long day…

2006-06-06T14:19:00.000+08:00

Last two days, I went to the almost everybody-looked-tulan clinic:

Nurse: * tulan a bit * yeah…
Me: I want to see the MBBS sinseh… * eh ah moi smile a bit lar cam ada orang mati *

Nurse: * still tulan * ok, … * looked at me *
Me: Panel, 717, William Tulan… from *&^^&%^#%$#@$%

Nurse: * go search * ok, have a sit…

* then in the consultation room *

Doctor: * he looked a bit tired and spiritless, must be very hard at work after long hours seeing and talking to patients… * Hi…

* he nod his head a bit to indicate what is my illness *

* hmmm… I wonder if I could recommend him to read DrLiew.net to relax or maybe start blogging like our good Dr Liew *

Me: Sorethroat and some cough… started two days ago…

Doctor: Ok, I give you anti-inflammatory, some cough tablets… should be ok… * start scribbling prescription *
Me: Ok.. thanks doc…

* while waiting outside *

Nurse: * still looked tulan * Mr William… yak yak yak… blah blah…
Me: Ok… thanks…

I wonder if its because my visitation is paid by my company so they all looked tulan? No lar, I don’t think so. I think they all look tulan because of a long and hard day in the clinic today… pity pity… and I happen just to walk in at the wrong time…

Is sky the limit… doctors hard at work… clinic nurse too…

Pisang... Pisang... Man-darin...

2006-05-30T14:27:00.000+08:00

When I was in my early years as a freshman, I got to know so many clubs which I did not even join all of it. I’ve never thought being so active in those clubs. Except the Computer Club recommended by COM. Anyway, you’ve got the varieties and activities offered throughout your year so you won’t get bored just shagging your assignments and attending lectures. Also that year, seniors will be out in the field to grab new members. They will approach and talk to you. Moreover, there will be orientation nights to welcome new members into their orgy clubs. Being a second time entering another university after returning from Sydney, I still consider these event such an eye opener. Still, local students here are not as vocal as students from where I first started my tertiary education. Those were different and I liked it. One particular moment in my new uni and that I never forget.

One Chinese student (OCS) came over to talk to me:

OCS: Hi, ni hau, wo zhi XXXX… * extending his hand *
Me: Err… I am sorry… I don’t know how to speak mandarin… not much… but its nice to meet you!

OCS: Oh, you are a Chinese but you should know how to speak mandarin…
Me: No, I come from Kebangsaan Sekolah and I did not take the extra curricular to learn Mandarin.

OCS: Oh, you should start… maybe you can join our club and we can help you on that…
Me: Err.. no thanks… I am in a hurry… sorry… * I rush away *

OCS: Ok thanks and bye…

In another incident with my old room mate (gosh, I stayed with him for the next four years):

Fam: As a Chinese we all should know our roots, learn our culture, learn our mandarin. Mandarin will be the language being use widely in the world. Apart from that, we must understand our origin so yak yak yak… blah blah blah… yak yak yak…

Me: o_O””” ok ok… * just walk away *

Fam is a good friend now working in Kuala Lumpur and I hardly meet him after our graduation. He went his way to Penang to work while I remain in KL after my graduation all this years. Fam is a hardworking person and a very determined guy. However, he is very straightforward.

Then in one occasion in another incident, I found out that I was a banana.

Liew: Eh, you don’t speak mandarin.. you are a banana!
Me: Huh, why do you say that I am banana?

Liew: Outside yellow like Chinese but inside white like gwai lo speaking English lar…
Me: Huh… ini macam pun boleh ar? Hahahahahaha…

Liew: Hahahahahaha… you should learn a bit of mandarin so at least you can date some Chinese girls here mar… UNITEN girls here most of them speaks mandarin…
Me: Ok lar.. maybe If I wanted to know a girl in the lecture hall I shall start, “Hi my name is Wil, William. Me don’t know Mandarinnnn. Me know English and I am a banana from Australia. An Australian banana… imported and rich in potassium! What is your name? Maybe we can get fruity after this lecture… I’ve got one big banana plus two water chestnuts!”

Liew: o_O””” ok ok… hehehehe… * speechless *

Liew is a good friend working in INTEL, going to get married soon. He is very down to earth person but not as straightforward as Fam. He likes to maintain good relationship with everyone he knows. I learnt how to format PC from him…

Then in another occasion I have never seen a Bengali Indian Tiger claiming himself Chinese.

COM: I have Chinese god mother…
Me: hehehehe.. ok ok enough.. go back to your room… don’t come disturb me until dinner…

For COM this I only have to say, “You just can’t get enough out of him but if he is too much you get drunk!” Nowadays, he is busy with his own projects and helping out his brother.

All my four years in Uni, you can say that I am the ghost in the campus that not much people know my existence. Hardly active in their outings and clubbing. The place I haunted most will be the computer laboratory.

Is sky the limit… Pisang, Pisang, Pisang…

I don't know...

2006-05-30T14:24:00.000+08:00

Do you know it is frustrated when people who ask you question and in return they told you that they do not know about your given answer. Here are some situations…

Situation 1: An uncle and his section 17.
Uncle: Excuse me, from here in Sri Damansara to section 17 how long does it take 15 minutes?
Me: Hmmm… if no traffic jam… yes. Where do you want to go?

Uncle: UTAR
Me: I see, you have to go out to the main road from here.

Uncle: I don’t know…
Me: * I don’t know how to react from his expression * Ok lar… bye!

Situation 2: Friend 1 asking for solution
Friend 1: Eh, Wil, how do you do this system?
Me: Ok, its like this, you do this, do this, connect this, do this then do that… ok?

Friend 1: I don’t know…
Me: * sigh *

Situation 3: Friend 2 asking where to this report
Friend 2: Eh, Wil, where do you get this report?
Me: The administration office.

Friend 2: Really?
Me: I just told you right? You ok ar?

Friend 2: I don’t know…
Me: * sigh – I feel like using a gun and shoot him *

I felt that the sentence “I don’t know” is misused in the above situation. Let me teach you how to use it:

Situation 1: Some one asking for direction
Ah Pek: Ekscuezz me ar brather… you know to go to Amcorp Mall ar?
Me: Sorry, I don’t know.

Situation 2: A friend asking for help
Friend 1: Hey Wil, do you know how to fix this problem?
Me: Sorry, I don’t know.

Situation 3: A friend asking if you know such and such
Friend 2: Hey Wil, do you know this material, I was wondering if you know where to get it? I saw you using it… I thought if you are holding it… then you should be able to tell me…
Me: Sorry, I don’t know… I don’t like you in the first place… don’t come near me!

Please use I don’t know when you are not sure, you really do not know about a question and you don’t want to divulge your information. Not to be used after when people give you an answer!

To answer a question with an answer given by a responder you can always use the following respond:

1. Sorry, can you repeat that… you are too fast in your answer
2. I couldn’t get what you were saying…
3. I don’t understand what you are saying…
4. Actually, your answer is different and I thought it should be…
5. Ok I understand the first part but regarding that place, how did you get there…
6. I am sorry my hearing got problem…can repeat it again but louder…
7. I am sorry I am deaf!

Is sky the limit… No, it is not. Spacemen is out there shagging!

My Elder Cousin Sister - Part 2 (Drinking)

2006-05-30T14:15:00.000+08:00

Another conversation with elder cousin sister on drinking:

CS: Eh, I see that you hardly drink at all…
Me: I hardly drink any of those beers in clubs since last two years…

CS: What happen?
Me: That one night in Thai club, the moment I entered, I felt dizzy and those liquor I drink cause me many days of headache, plus ringing in my ears! I could breathed and those alcohol really busted me out after that. That is why I stop drinking. Now I only drink to occasion. That even is just red wine.

CS: Eh, you ni betui ka? Drink pun dah kurang and you pun tak smoke. You man ar?
Me: I am man! I still like making love with woman and grunt like a bear!

CS: o_O””” what lar…
Me: ya mar… you asked me whether I am a man mar… what does drinking and smoking got to do with me being a man?!

CS: No mar, man loves drinking and smoking… but you don’t do that!
Me: Aiya, age have catch up with me lar. How long do you want to continue to that, drinking and smoking? Until 40? Until 50? Until 60? Smoking is a no-no… but drinking you have to watch out. Your body can only take so much at certain age. Its better you are getting older to monitor your drinking habits. Be moderate or just drink to occasion… Not everybody like you lar…drink until mabuk everytime…

CS: Oooi! Shh… shh… shh…
Me: You drink Henessy and beer like water… like that… you don’t die faster but will get fatter!

CS: Oooi! Yeah yeah… I know I know…
Me: Don’t drink so much… be moderate lar… see, now you got a boyfriend, a stable job, a good earning and a good family… you want your drinking habit to kill you and let every of the thing I mention to be disappointed iszit?

CS: No lar… don’t lar…
Me: hahahahaha… at your age and you are a woman… you should watch your drinking habit… age can catch up with you pretty fast…

CS: You talked like an old man…
Me: Hai… what to do!... If you don’t watch out your health… who? Your parents ar? Even the food we take now are so oily and filled with cholesterol. Look at this Big Mac I am taking… you think no fat and cholesterol ar?

* Munch munch my Big Mac – oooh… so tasty and so good! God Damn Big Macs! *

CS: Hahahahhahahahaha… looks like everything we have are poisons...
Me: Yup… ooi.. these two nights you have been asking me this questions? You ok ar? You are a nurse… in fact a specialist nurse on kidney… why are you asking me all these questions? Lets talk about your marriage!

CS: Hehehehehehe… that one nothing to talk about lar, he is in the middle saving for a business… so talk other things lar… you ar…
Me: You ar… nothing better to do issit… go eat your Mcd Porridge lar…

Is sky the limit… drink moderately… don’t drink hard liquor as if there is no tomorrow…

My Elder Cousin Sister - Part 1 (Smoking)

2006-05-30T14:13:00.000+08:00

Some conversation on smoking with my elder cousin sister about smoking:

CS: Eh you don’t smoke ar? Many guys smoke.
Me: No I don’t. Why do you ask?

CS: It seem strange that you don’t smoke when every guy I met smokes a lot.
Me: Well, I just don’t smoke.

CS: You go out with friends, they smoke ar?
Me: Yes, some of them…

* Generally, I don’t like people smoking in front of me. I don’t care if my boss smokes and I have to smoke to get a promotion or project. You can very well give it other person if you want me to smoke *

CS: They don’t offer it to you?
Me: No they don’t. They know I am not a smoker.

CS: Hmmm… you have any reason on your part why you are not influenced to smoke too?
Me: I don’t get the feel of wanting to smoke when I see my friends puffing but with history of bad coughs since very young. Smoking… I will think twice of it.

CS: I see…
Me: If I smoke I think I am long gone and my cough would have killed me a long time. I still remember my time in uni when all my friends, ALL, smoke non-stop. I very much hate it but I just bear with it. But they won’t smoke in my room because I told them so.

CS: I see…
Me: But there will be some who wouldn’t listen to me. There was once, a friend came to my apartment and he wants to smoke. So I politely asking him to go out and smoke; not in here. He insisted he will just smoke by the window and don’t want to go out. I was very disappointed. If you think of it, it is my apartment and I don’t like people smoking in here/ As long as your feet is in here, you better don’t smoke. Within my private sanctuary, you have to follow my rules.

CS: So what happen to the friend?
Me: He grumbly walked out and went down.

CS: Wah!
Me: But that wasn’t the end of it. At that same time, I’ve got another friend who was using the toilet. This friend is a real hardcore smoker. I’ve known him since my uni years. He loves to smoke and he smoked in my toilet. I felt so pissed off! You know, I have specifically told them not to smoke. I was so disappointed with them. One wanted to smoke in my living room and another just did it in my toilet. I seriously hate it. That toilet was filled smoke stench. I had to deodorized it and I can’t used it for three days.

CS: Wah!
Me; My lungs are not that good, you have to understand, because if my cough comes back it will be months before it stops. Therefore, I really much hate it. But there are my good friends and they should respect my home and not smoked in there.

CS: Yes, its true. No respect…
Me: If my sons and daughters smoked in the house, I will give them two tight slaps.
Me: Tell me one good reason why do you want to smoke in the first place?
CS: Friends influence, age of innocence, when everything is new and you want to try it out.

Me: Yes it is true but I don’t think youngster when it comes to smoking they don’t think twice of themselves and other people. Its good to smoke but do it in a way that you don’t harm other peoples’ health. Smoking cause cancer to the smoker themselves and second hand smoke kills too. Tell me, why do you think government and health organizations spend millions on campaign to tell people not to smoke? Because its dangerous. Yet people don’t care and carry on. Nowadays, people just don’t care and more young girls are into smoking. Yes, girls smoking looks cool but to me it is bad. Mind me, whenever I see girls smoke, it is really a turn off. Still, I have friend’s girlfriend smoking. They smoke and smoke… just like a chimney pot. You smoke ar?
CS: Hahahahaha… no lar…

Me: Don’t you dare start smoking in front of me…
CS: Nooo lar… I don’t smoke!

Me: Ok ok… hehehehehe…

My dear readers, smoking kills. Yes, you can go ahead and smoke as many sticks as you like in one day but you must remember when you come to visit me at my apartment please be warned that it is no smoking zone. Smokers who caught smoking in my apartment’s perimeter will be shot! Respect that decision of mine – no smoking in my apartment!

Is sky the limit… I think smoking should be ban!

Bloody... Bloody...

2006-05-30T14:05:00.000+08:00

This few weeks of night out I noticed crazy people driving like rushing for their funeral.

There was this incident happen just outside MidValley. I was on crossing the fly over into PJ when this stupid car came very near behind me. It was blaring me with its bright lights. Fine, it is fine that you tail me nearly signal me to the go one side for you to pass.

TO THAT BLOODY FUCKING STUPID MOTHERFUCKER WHO OVERTAKE ME ON A SMALL LANE FLYOVER,

DO YOU BLOODY FUCKING HAVE ANY FUCKING BRAINS? YOU ARE CROSSING A BLOODY FLYOVER WITH JUST ONE BLOODY LANE FOR ONE BLOODY CAR AND IT HAS A VERY BLOODY DEEP CURVE! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO BLOODY PROVE? I WON’T MIND IF YOU BLOODY CRASH INTO THE BLOODY DIVIDER AND FELL ONTO ANOTHER BLOODY HIGHWAY BELOW. YOU CAN BLOODY DIE WHILE OVERTAKING AND FORCING MY CAR TO ONE SIDE ON THIS BLOODY FLYOVER. I DO NOT KNOW WHERE THE BLOODY HELL YOU ARE HEADING TO BUT MY BEST GUESS YOU ARE RUSHING FOR YOUR BLOODY FUNERAL. BEEPING ME IS NO USE BECAUSE YOU ONLY PROVE YOURSELF ONE BLOODY PIECE OF SHIT WHICH IS EVEN WORSE THEN A BLOODY COW DUNG! IF YOU WANT TO OVERTAKE ME, YOU CAN ALWAYS BLOODY HELL WAIT FOR ME TO GET OFF THE FUCKING FLYOVER OR YOU CAN BLOODY FLY OVER MY CAR. THEN YOU CAN BLOODY HELL GO AND DIE IN OTHER BLOODY LANE. SOME BLOODY HELL KUALA LUMPUR DRIVERS REALLY EAT SHIT IN THEIR DRIVING SKILL! WHY DON’T YOU BLOODY GO FUCK YOURSELF AND BLOODY CRASH INTO THE SEA BECAUSE YOU ARE A BLOODY DISGRACE TO THE NATION!

TO ALL OTHER FUCKING ROAD BULLIES ON THE ROAD, YOU ARE A BLOODY MOTHERFUCKER AND YOU BLOODY BETTER GO EAT SHIT!

HAM KAH CHAN, DUI NIA SING! LEI KOON CHI HUI TAU THOI AR? SEI FUN CHEONG!

I do not curse in my blog, but this time some KL drivers really pissed me off!

Is sky the limit… sei fan cheong char tou kum mai! Lei hum mai sik si tai?

Mom spearheading for me...

2006-05-30T13:55:00.000+08:00

Being from an all boys school when I was in my primary till secondary, I am always shy in front of the other gender. Girls. Maybe I don’t have much exposure or experience talking to them and importantly being friends with them. So whenever I see a girl at that time, I will keep quiet, blush and then shy. But then girls are so playful, talkative and naughty. For me, being the boy, you must have think that I am the most naughtiest kid in school then you are wrong. I was a quiet boy and who cry all the time. The slightest prank from my friend will make me cry. One day, things took a turn, instead of being shy and always crying. I felt bolder when I went into my secondary. I approach girls whenever they are. Regardless, the waitress, the girl in the bus next to me, my piano concert partner or even sales girls in the mall.

Scene 1: Salesgirl
Me: Hi, looks like sales here are quite quiet.
Beautiful Salesgirl: Yup. What to do? Market is bad.
Me: I see. My name is William. What’s yours?
Beautiful Salesgirl: hehehehe… My name is A. Is that your mother trying out the new clothes?
Me: Yup. I am on school holiday.
Beautiful Salesgirl: I know… kids like you is very rare to follow mom buy clothes.
Me: hehehehe…

Comment: Ok, this is fine as I was like 13 only and very thin with huge spectacles. So you can imagine it how innocent I look. * Don’t laugh! *

Scene 2: Salesgirl Again
Me: Hi
Beautiful Salesgirl: Hi
Me: Can I be your friend?
Beautiful Salesgirl: You crazy?! Go away!

Comment: Ok, this is not fine if you are 20 years old and not as cute as a young kid anymore. So better think twice before someone gets panic and scream for help.

Scene 3: Salesgirl, YES, its salesgirl again
Mom: So, you want to know that salesgirl. Let me take a look at her!

* My mom walks over pretending to look at clothing then walk back *

Mom: Eh, not bad… very beautiful! Wanna give a try?
Me: No lar… just kidding. Nanti kena scolding or make police report!

Mom: Don’t worry, mom will go ask for you!
Me: o_O”””” Eh no need lar.. you gila ar…

Mom: Aiya just go there be friend mar…
Me: You don’t be crazy nanti people misunderstood you that you are trying to matchmake her with your son!

Mom: Am I? Oh yes…
Me: Damn…

Comment: No comment… my mom is open… very open…

Now that when I see a salesgirl or salesman, I just walk away. Why? I don’t want them to bug me into buying things. If my wife read this surely, my dinner’s topic will be on this until bedtime.

Well, those were the days when you are young between 13 and 21 and everything is so new and you want to know more. Young and dangerous. Fast and furious. Sometimes when I think back I felt I am so old. Life has to move on. I met my wife in a clinic and that is another story.

If you are one of those single guys out there would want to know the lady that
you always wanted to know whether its in a club or in any place. This is what
you can do for a start. It is nice and it is polite.

You can say, ”Hi, how are you?”

Is sky the limit… Hi my name is Bond, James Bond…

Maid, You've Got News!

2006-05-30T13:50:00.000+08:00

It’s the time to celebrate for maids who are going to work in Malaysia or those who are working here currently. Laws has been passed and maids can retaliate back if their employers mistreat, abuse or take advantage on them.

Scenario 1: Employer trying to keep half of their maids’ pay
Employer: Your salary I keep half first, when you finish you contract I return everything to you.
Maid: Sorry sir, your laws required that you deposit my salary into my bank account. If not I can bring you to your makhamah! Thank you sir, here is my Bank Harimau account number.

Scenario 2: Employer abuse maid
Employer: Take this! You pig! How dare you not do chores! Take this! * slapping her with a hot steel spatula *
Maid: * Coolly avoided her employer’s attack with a single hand * Your makhamah says I can bring you to court for abuse. Thank you madam, here is my lawyer letter. I see you in court!

Scenario 3: Maid negotiating with employer before work start
Employer: So when can you start work?
Maid: I can start next week but I have a few following condition that you will need consider and put it in black and white; contract or agreement. Here is the list of condition. Thank you sir. Please you will have to make your decision today because I have another offer around this neighborhood.

Is sky the limit… if you are a maid, do you feel happy and relief?

What should i do... ? Hmmm...

2006-05-30T12:46:00.000+08:00

Now that my wife is in Federal Territory of Labuan. If you do not know where is this place then you should look up in Google. Yes, Google provides all the answer. If you hate Google then go look up in your world map or your secondary text book Geography.

Labuan is a Federal Territory of Malaysia and it is not in West Peninsular of Malaysia but a very small island in the East of Malaysia between Sarawak and Sabah. In the map, you will only see it as a dot. Yes, its just a small island but it is surrounded by oil rigs. She will be there for two weeks and I will have so much of my time to be alone and do what I want in my apartment. Argh!!! I am starting to miss her.

Let me see what I should do while she is away:

1. Gangbang Party… ? Then we invite CEO and COM over to my place. Maybe I can tape both of them and sell it to the pirates of DVD... hehehhehehe....
2. Invite all the girls to my apartment… ? Hmmm… how much money do I have? Nah...
3. Open an all nude party in my apartment… ? Hmmm… what if all guys turn up only… no! no! no! this is out!

Nah, I don’t think so. Most probably I just eat and sleep and continue with my ANIME. I am watching Full Metal Panic (first series) and will try to complete it before she comes back. Otherwise, it will be all Korean and Japanese dramas!

Is sky the limit… what should I do? I miss you, Sayang!

Davinci, X Men III and Ian Mckellen

2006-05-30T11:17:00.000+08:00

This two weeks I have watched two good movies. One that raise Jesus issue and another mutant issue. Of these two movies, Jesus as according to the book written by none other than popular Dan Brown to have a descendant. The latter, many main characters will die and leaving the epic of X-men to the rest. However, I was told to sit until the end of the credits to see something special. Unfortunately, I couldn’t wait to that last end of the credit. Therefore I assumed something mystery is about to happen; most probably Professor X are revived or Jean Grey returns from the dead. Still I could not just make this assumption. Most probably I will buy the DVD when it comes out to know what happen. Or, I go and ask some X-Men fans on that particularly scene.

Back to The Davinci Code, it has been rated 18PL because of its story depicting Jesus having descendent and Mary Magdalene is the holy grail that defy the Christian’s faith and belief. Pretty exciting for such a movie to come out from Hollywood despite outcry from churches who are against this movie. Malaysia’s churches has done its best to educate its members before they watch it. As far as it goes in my point of understanding, the Davinci Code movie and the book won’t affect my mind and my thinking of the Christian faith. After all, if this movie were so much giving a lot of negative influence then they should have ban the book in the beginning. Many have read it and the books are selling like hot cakes even before the movie were in the making. That is my view. Period. Ian Mckellen portrays as the Teacher who is the mastermind behind the plot to get the truth out from top members of Priory of Sion on the Holy Grail. He is a fine actor and he has shown both of his talented acting skill in both X-Men movies and the Davinci Code. However, he will still be best remember and regarded as Gandalf in the movie Lord of The Rings trilogy. I surely hope to see more of him from many genres of movies coming soon in the future.

It was really fun watching him swinging his hands to flip away convoy police cars to rescue Mystique.

Apart the movies, I must say the tickets sold are very expensive and I felt that the rates are going higher and higher with each good movies coming into Malaysia. GSC in Midvalley are selling X-Men tickets for RM12 each. Yes, you may argued, “Hey bro, its Midvalley lar… of coz its expensive lar”. Though I don’t have much concrete fact to argue that movie tickets are getting expensive but I still beg to differ that prices should vary on the cinema location. How much will the ticket cost for the new Superman Return? I will definitely compare the prices. I wonder how cinemas in Malaysia determine movie ticket’s prices?

In the lift after the Davinci Code movie:

One Ah Beng: Hey, that movie condemning Jesus ar?
Ah Beng’s Stylish and Dyed Red Hair Girlfriend: I don’t know wor…

* After the Ah Beng couple left the lift *

My wife: I think they should read the book first and understand its just fiction…
Me: Well, there are some people who, “follow the crowd, do what the crowd does”.

So much of Dan Brown’s hype for the past two weeks… I am getting sick of hearing his name everywhere I go! I need to detoxify and prepare for Superman Returns.

Is sky the limit… The grace and fall of Professor X and the X-Men

Of dreams and PowerPoint...

2006-05-25T14:12:00.000+08:00

Last two mornings, this was what i heard after i woke up:

Wife: Ah Sei, I dreamt I had finished my PowerPoint slides, saved and burned into a CD. Then, when I wanted to display it out from the CD…half of my slides’ images are gone… I was so frustrated and my classmates helped me till late afternoon to fix the CD…

Ah Sei: Wah, PowerPoint so jialat… eh, hold on… CD can be fix ar? How?

Wife: I don’t know… but they all fix it and I cried lar…

Ah Sei: Oh poor girl… so I decided to write an email to Microsoft or Mr. Gates.

Dear Mr Gates of Microsoft,

It is good to let you, Mr Gates, know that your good product Microsoft PowerPoint is wonderful and powerful too. People who are not oriented with the PowerPoint product manages to use it with minimal tutorial from the professionals. However, your very good product still lack one important thing that will surely make my wife more happier than ever.

Your product is giving my wife nightmares and it is a pain to see her complaining to me that she dreamt of your product giving her problem. As a result, she cried in her dreamt because of your Power Point is not Dream Safe. Dream Safe in a sense is a feature that I think of today and it can help you to improve your product in a better way and user will feel less stress and making their dream more beautiful. Dream Safe feature as I called it involves a button that will maintain all features including behaviors, objects, methods and classes of Power Point to be guaranteed in the event of transferring to another storage media. Therefore, users like my wife who has no information technology skills will dream better when they sleep.

Dream Safe feature is unique creation of mine. Dream Safe feature is my idea and I won’t mind receiving some royalty from Microsoft due to my contribution to improve your product.

Yours Sincerely,
William Wilstroth
ISTL 2006 EP 2 Management

Damn Microsoft PowerPoint for making my wife cried in her dream…

Is sky the limit… I dreamt of SAP… rox!

Guy having PMS

2006-05-25T11:39:00.000+08:00

Being siao is one thing but feeling piss-off can be hazardous or I am just having PMS:

Me 2: Eh how is your week?
Me 1: Aiya… like that lar…

Me 2: How lar…? At least say something like syok ka, shit ka, bored ka…
Me 1: My week is full of shit… and everywhere I go I meet and talk about shit… when I sit down I see shit… then I go for lunch I eat the same shit…

Me 2: Aiya… be open and relax lar… and appreciate the days you have lar…
Me 1: You are full of shit… * punch Me 2 *

Me 3: Hey, hold it lar brother… * Me 3 hold me back from punching Me 2 *
Me 1: You get out of my way… or I punch you too…

Me 3: ok ok man… just calm down * both hands off and walk back *
Me 2: what is your problem man…?

Me 1: My problem is full of shit…
Me 3: Get a grip… what about home?

Me 1: That is where I have my solace… and peace…
Me 2: Then go home and be with your wife… make love… read books… cook… lar…

Me 1: There are things where man needs to be in the field and strive… with idiots…
Me 3: I see… what is making your blood boil?

Me 1: Seeing idiots on the road and in my field…
Me 2: Think of it as a balance lar… if everybody is smart then there will be no challenge lar… must have some idiots baru syok mar…

Me 1: … * took a butcher knife and hacked me 2 to death *
Me 3: my god! You just murdered me 2…

Me 3: What are you doing? Don’t come near me… please… have mercy!
Me 1: I’m sorry you have just witness a murder… I’m sorry… * Kabuushhhhh! *

Me 1: Now I am satisfied… and now it’s all those idiots turn…

* carry on with my field’s assignment *

is sky the limit... i feel like chopping idiots using a butcher's knife!

Its a lady driver!... haiya!...

2006-05-24T15:46:00.000+08:00

Again, it strike again for the second or the third time. I can remember since which entry that i had uttered, "Its a woman!". Nevertheless, my mouth never fails me.

One evening after fetching my wife and on the way home:

Me: How is your last paper?
Wife: Good... hehehehe... we can go see Davinci Code today... yeah!

Me: Yup... hopefully... we are able to buy the ticket today.
Wife: Its a must! Its my turn! Not fair every day that movie is full! Its my turn! Its my turn!

Me: ok ok...

* Then there is car overtake me and slows down *

Me: Hmmm... so slow... * I slowed down too *

* After 30 seconds or so... *

Me: Ayo... why so slow... in front no car lah...
Wife: * Happily reading Dan Brown's book *

Me: Moved lar... in front of you no car lar...
Wife: * Happily reading Dan Brown's book *

Me: No wonder its a lady! Drive so slow...

* Teng! 3... 2... 1... Kaboom *

Wife: So you have forgotten lar... you want me to repeat to you about woman... huh huh... yalar... all women drivers are slow... i know i am don't dare to drive... yak yak yak...

Me: hehehehhee... no lar no lar... i mean the lady in front lar... not all women including you. If you drive... you are the best...
Wife: that's more like it...

I swear to god... next time i must stress as "the driver" instead "its a lady"... damn... i feel that i am discriminating all the ladies.

But its a fact, some ladies drives like they are going for their last days or they are too slow like they owned the damn road.

Moreover, I don't really accept PMS being the reason for their actions on the road.

Siao!

is sky the limit... dun drive so slow lar! drivers...