Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Yes, its up on the Mount Everest!!!

Note: A long random MSN chat with Padmi - on CMMI

Padmi asked if there will be a interview session for CMMI, and here is how i go about whacking her question:

Me: yes, there will be an interrogation session... for cmmi...
padmi: wht time

Me: time at 1500 hours... you will be grilled
padmi: haiyoo

Me: with butter... and oil
padmi: 3.00 pm?

Me: by the ECCI... yes...
padmi: hmmm... well, i guess just go and look innocent

Me: meanwhile, get yourself brace up for the process and schedule variance and effort variance...
padmi: hmm...

padmi: can we hv a brainstorm among ourselves for a short time?
Me: no need...

Me: because the team intend to send you alone in the interogation room... and we will observe from the other side
padmi: ...

Me: don't worry... there will be a mirophone and earphone.. to communicate with us
padmi: ...

Me: rest assured... if you don't know just ahem... and we will respond
padmi: ...

Me: in case of ermergency, kerry will barge in to rescue you
padmi: ...

Me: she is your backup support...
padmi: *_*"""

Me: until you scream she will not be activated... you need to scream...

padmi: ...

William says: don't worry, the interrogation will take at least one hour...
padmi: ...

William says: i know its gruesome but its for the sake of your team... but you are the one!
padmi: oh boy

padmi: u need a vacation
Me: this mission is consider top secret

Me: so you will be go in alone... a stealth mission
padmi: yeah yeah

padmi: why am i stuck with a paranoid boss? Oh boy...
Me: by the way try to smile as much as you could like kerry...

Me: Muah hahahahahahahahaha...
padmi: "haa-haa"

padmi: he might think i am psycho
Me: no he won't think you as pyscho... most likely he will bring back his old memories during his younger days with his indian girlfriend...back in his hometown

* by the way, our appraisal is not an Indian doctor but a Thai doctor. *

padmi: u!
Me: ok ok i am going back to work

Gosh, i really need a vacation!

is sky the limit... ok, i am through! Go back to work!

When the computing world is slow!

One day in an insane world, william and his lovely desktop was running the windows remote and this is what happen when the blardy network is so farking slow:

Me : Blardy... * whack whack * come lar... speed up lar...
Programming via Windows Remote : * taking its own sweet time to respond to me *

Me : Blardy... * getting out my hammer and a saw *
PVWR : * buzz buzz * - * I am on PMS *

Me : I don't care... just compiled my damn code and you can go eat shit!
PVWR : * buzz buzz * - * I am on PMS *

* lunchtime came,
Me: * munch munch * - * sulk sulk *
Padmi, Kerry, Mitchelle: Dun lar masam muka... computer only mar...
* lunchtime gone,

Me : blardy... * whack whack *
PVWR : * buzz buzz * - * I am on PMS *

Me : blardy hell... * CTRL-TAB * - * read MichaelOoi.com and Drliew.net *

Blardy hell, this is the slowest programming i ever done in my whole blardy life!

is sky the limit... fark... i hate working via windows remotely!

Monday, August 28, 2006

I am bored... are you?

Disturbing Abang Loy,
Bang Loy : Willi!
William : Yup...

Bang Loy : I am bored, Willi...
William : So am I...

After 15 minutes,

William : Bang Loy!
Bang Loy : ...

William : I am bored, Bang Loy...
Bang Loy : I know...

Disturbing Abang Lee,
William : Bang Lee!
Bang Lee : Yes...
William : I am bored...
Bang Lee : You've got Bang Loy mar...
William : I know...
Bang Lee : go call Danni lar...
William : tiu...
Damn this entry is so gay... ok ok... back to work...

is sky the limit... nothing special but going around disturbing people...

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Just do it... loud and clear... I wan PANGSAI!

Last two days, my wife, her sister and me were having a late night dinner. So there after, this is what happens,

Sister : Eh, cepat-cepat minum and bayar lar... and you, cepat makan and drive faster ok?
Me: huh? why lar... just lepas makan... slow lar...
Wife: * look at her * you something wrong ar?

Sister : No lar, just want to do something lar...
Wife : Tell lar... what do you want to do?
Me : Yalor... drive faster... nanti accident... who responsible? Berhati-hati di jalan raya.

Sister : Aiyah... i tak boleh tahan mau... 'oh si'... * paiseh *
Wife : Aiyor... say so lar... why lar have to be so malu-malu?
Sister : In a restaurant lar, everyone eating lar... what you expect? Say out loud like, "Eh, sis i wan to pangsai? I want to berak ar?"

Wife : Yalar... say loud mar... then how do we know you want to berak?
Me : *_*""""" ... * i am having my last yam cake with stew pork *

Me : ok .. ok... i think its more than loud and clear.... i pay i pay... i drive fast fast... don't worry...
Wife and sister : hahahahahahaha...

Me : *_*"""

is sky the limit... 'scuse me... you got toilet paper... mau berak lar... tak boleh tahan!

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Annoying People

It's funny that we can actually meet new weird people everyday.

For example:[A lecture scenario]
Two students in conversation begins like this :

A : Hey how you going to do this?
B : Oh it's like this and this [explaining confidently.]

A : [Suddenly, gave a disgusted face!] Really?
B : Hmm, that's how it goes. [Felt annoyed]

A looked away to behind.B continued to do his work.

A asked the people sitting behind.
B still continue doing his work.A looked around.

A started to ask again.

A : Hey, how to do it?
B : Look, if you don't trust me. Why are you asking me?

A : I don't know how to do mah so I ask.
B : Dude, [in my heart : f**k you!] I already told you and if you don't trust me. Why are you asking me?

A : [He looked kind the been shot.] Looked away and do his work.
B : [Thinking in my heart: "Stupid people who don't know how to bring himself around and think he's a smartass."]

No more conversation till the end of class.

Friday, August 18, 2006

world is flat and is defining the word 'FREE'...

Something struck off my mind today when thumbelina asked me this question.

'can you tell me what is free in this world?'


First of all, this question can be dissected into two parts. The world and the word free. Second, these two words does in one sense really intertwined with the today's world's society which is so greedy.

Lets talk of the world now. It's flat. Not round. Suck those scientist and i don't care. World is flat of increasing economic and my pay is still flat like roti canai. Fortunately, it is also one of the most marvellous place to live when we are so populated with gameshows of changing one destiny. Please feel free to enter freely and ready to be freely get kick around. Definitely, the world has something going on. Now that the world is so big (... and flat) but we all share one big great thing that definitely even a small kid knows about it. That is the word 'Free'. How often do we feel excited and happy when we heard the word free?

For example, some stranger told you this, 'hey you got a free coupon and you can win this product!' Those who are smart and street-wise may straight away condemn the person until his or hers innard come out plus to the extent of not being recognized by his or her mother.

'Louh tou lia ma tou um ying tak leh'

it mean, 'scold until your mom can't recognize you'

Of course, there are some who are not so unfortunate and greedily grab the opportunity and later to feel so regret with their own action. Oops, but you say its free right? Henceforth, why the notion of getting cheated? This is because the word free often clouded our mind. To one extend gleefully and happily accepting the product. Although one may argued it is not free but discount. Well, one wouldn't want to give it totally free so free up some cost for you to buy into their trick. As simple as it is.

Yes, the word 'Free' is two sided in today's world. The other side would be the totally free and you get it without the exchange of something in return from the receipient.

For example, let's say you go to pub or disco. You drink and you are merry. The number of drinks were un-countable and your friends are so fun. Even the drinks taste like Coca Cola. You just drink. Night were getting wilder. Then came one good looking girl or so you think. She was drunk and you were drunk. Both of you saw each other so handsome and so beautiful. The next thing that happen to you was the most beautiful night ever happen to you. You got yourself laid. Not even that, it was more than a few rounds. You always dread having to buy things and paid for it. So you get it free because someone is willing to be with it with you. However, there is always one back side to get things "free" freely. You dread yourself why you were not sober because she was one fat ugly lady.

Fortunately, free is not as bad as it seems. Try to remember the times you were in the uni when you have the best buddy in the word to help you out:

1. "CEO, come lar, belanja me lar, PTPTN belum masuk" - "Free" food
2. "Brother, can do this assignment for me ar? Dunno lar, you can do it wan, i know!" - "Free" ride
3. " hic.. hic.. you are beau..tipoo hic.. hic... yum sing! lets come back to my house... you sweet thing" - "Free" F**K
4. "Murah!! Murah!! RM3 Buy One!! Free One!! - "Free" pirated VCD and those were the heydays!5. "I can pay my workers with peanuts!" - "Free" Slaves
6. You may add to this list... as long as you can think of the word free...

Now, the big question is, "do you think everything is free?" Blardy hell, even the air is not free. Why? Because we need to buy air filter and air ionizer. Otherwise, you die! Damn, those haze is coming back to Malaysia. Free is so subjective nowadays!

is sky the limit... let's be free and be happy!

Thursday, August 17, 2006

COC with his mind on insurance...

Today, COC who had not spoken to me since the last deepavali popped out in IM. The conversation was something like below:

COC: Hey william, how are you?
Me: Fine dude...

COC: Why never see you with COE and COM? Very busy meh?
Me: A bit lar... got so many things to tend to lar...

COC: still in the same job...?
Me: Yeah...

COC: got changed job ar?
Me: No lar... why you change already?

COC: yeah... i am doing insurance...

* ahaks... i smell insurance in IM... *

Me: oh... full time or part time?
COC: currently part time... see lar later... if good then full time lar...

Me: Hey, by the way after so long of absence, now only you call me up, please dun tell me that you want to talk to me about insurance ar?
COC: Ar... dun like that lar... just want to see whether your policy covers everything you needed mar... i read policy...

Although some parts of the conversation was something like that. It never fails to amuse me by my own gang. I am for one who won't go sell insurance, trust or direct sales stuffs yet it never fails for them to come to me. You can just notice the long absence of your friends and all of a sudden they just show up with a big smile or a big grin on their face.

is sky the limit... your policy not enough, come buy my one lar, its better, more coverage...

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Pesky lucky draw salesmen! Cases of cheating people with lucky draws or coupons... BEWARE!

Just yesterday afterwork, i was again approach by another one of those pesky lucky draw salesman. This time their approach was different and my mood was different also:

Pesky Lucky Draw Salesman : Mr! Mr! Mr! * He came running to me *
Me: * ignoring him *

PLDS : Don't scold me first... i have here a coupon and i just need a minute from you.
Me: * I looked at him trying to figure out what is the world is processing in his pea brain to con me! * Yeah what do you want?

PLDS : You see, i represent a retail outlet from TIMES Square, and this coupon allows you to buy things with discount. All you have to do is open this coupon. If you see, "Thank you" then you filled up my particulars and i will leave. If you see, "You got discount" then you can keep this coupon and i will leave.

* Actually i can't remember if i need to fill up my particulars or his particulars but i don't care... *

Me : Oh like that ar... if that's the case, i take this home and see first lar... you can leave now!
PLDS : No.. no... you have to do it now...

Me : What chun toi (in cantonese it means "testicles) talk you are talking about i can't take home and read?! You give me this coupon mar... i take it home and read on my own time lar... you give it to me mar... besides, this is like scratch and win mar... why do it now? Trying to cheat others like in the newspaper ar?!

* I am still ignoring him and scrutinizing the coupon *

PLDS : Come on lar... Mr... I don't con you wan... you do it now...i can go back and claim my commission for distributing this...

Me : * I flipped at the back to see the instruction *

Dear readers,

The instruction are all blurred up and very small. I think you know what i am talking about here already!

Me : No thank you.

PLDS : Thank you sir.

Just be careful and not to talk to them. This place happened in the open parking opposite Taman Jaya LRT station and beside AMCORP Mall.

is sky the limit... are you trying to con me?

Monday, August 14, 2006

One Sub Zero... 50% experience gain... Car Accident!

"...as soon as he opened his eyes, he was like seeing the driver nodding off
then the car was near to the divider on the left side..."

- crude hasting

Damn, you all should have whacked the driver for drinking... You kids are nuts! If anything happen how to you guys and girls... what am i going to do?
"...the journey that got him 50% extra experience, do not let a driver on his own especially even he said he took ONLY one bottle of vodka.He geleng his kepala..."
- crude hasting
Got 50% extra experience and a geleng kepala?! I am going to give him a 101% wallop and twist his geleng-ed kepala! Shame! Shame!

If mom knows about this... she is going to "nyah sing" you to the max!!!!

is sky the limit... drink driving...

Sunday, August 13, 2006

50 hours disappearance : part II

[So it was decided.]
Everyone went to the social night at Melaka.

[The author can't remember the name of the place.]
It was a pub and everyone went inside. Everyone got themselves a drink except one for her own personal reason.

There was one junior, J, he took four Heineken and a Vodka.

"I think I'll have a bottle of vodka, Sub-Zero."

He then brought the drink to a junior and dance with her.

[Not long.]
He terrible cough choked him out of the club and got himself a fresh air with another junior. Then it was time to leave the place as the leader promised leaving the parameter at 12 a.m.

Both driver got themselves a bottle of vodka admidst the tiring day of three days event.

[Screwed these driver for they be having another 3 or 4 hours of journey before everyone reached home safely and it's was 12 a.m.]

Everyone onboard and ready to leave.

[.. tiring ..]

[.. he closed his eyes ..]

[Quite long in the middle of the night through the highway...]

Suddenly, a loud sound was heard [Bang!] then the car spinned!

Spin and spin. [It spun twice in the middle of the road.]

[Looking around it was lucky that there were no cars around!]

The driver drove the car to aside and inspect.

[The seat next to the driver had a window broke and a long line of scratch along the side of the car.]

Everyone were wide awake and startled!

Everyone checked of the safety.

[Everyone fine.]
He was thinking back what happened,

"as soon as he opened his eyes, he was like seeing the driver nodding off then the car was near to the divider on the left side..."

Everyone got back to the car and try to drive home safely and slowly with emergency lights on along the way.

[Got home after a short time with everyone eyes wide opened.]
Sent the panicked juniors home and he reached his place safely.

It was a very tiring journey for him to make sure the junior was safe and trying to comfort a panic striken junior.

He doze off on his cozy pillow.

-The journey that got him 50% extra experience, do not let a driver on his own especially even he said he took ONLY one bottle of vodka.

He geleng his kepala.

[Back to the current day.]

The little kid stared blankly at him.

"Hmm, I'm not sure whether you get it or not. Don't drink and drive, kid!"

"Go now, play your sand castle."

The little kid went back to his place.

He then straighten up his shirt and walked away, strolling along the road towards the sunset. There will be another day for his experience.

Friday, August 11, 2006

50 hours disappearance : part I

As he blinked into the scene with emitting a powerful aura, a boy was just nearby the playground toying around with a sandbox.

[The little kid startled]

Little kid : Hey, it's the mysterious man!

It's been awhile since he left the place to venture into a more exciting thrilling event in the outer world called UiTM.

He urged the kid forward and decided to tell the little kid the experience he came across.

It all began on a Thursday night when it was cooling night with little wind blewing across the street and his phone rang. He picked it up and it was the leader of the group. It was a wake up call. He clean himself and ready by 4 am. An Iswara car appeared just outside his house. With a few more of his teammates were already in the car. All this was just like Harry Porter but no, he isn't Harry.

He jumped into the car and ready to depart. Straight to UiTM was everyone in the car aim. It was the longest 50 hour non - stop debating event organized by UiTM to break the Malaysia Book of Record.

[the Longest 50 Hours Non-Stop Debating event. A three days event.]

With all due luck, force and soul, everyone reached there early and shine with high hopes of anticipation.

[Upon reaching the new world, UiTM]

He was greeted by the dean of the communication department. She was in the middle age and a little over size. No offense but she's nice.

At 10am, the runners asked him to look at the schedule for the event.

[Looked up and down for it.]

Found his name for the third event which meant he be shooting people on the third round. No, he won't be killing anyone. Shooting as in literally.

The motion was "this house would take away television advertisement from children."

Eventually, he went through his first round. It was screwed up. Definition uncleared by his first speaker and it was shot dead right through the forehead by the closing government speaker. He did his best to do damage control. Anyway, the purpose of the event was to make it non-stop 50 hours debate so there won't be any adjudicators (the judges) giving winning or losing points.

[After his first round]

He walked around, met old faces and new faces in the debating scene. He tried to cheer his apprentices and guide them to debating scene. Anyway, it was an exposure.

[2nd day]
He decided to take another round of debate.

The motion was "this house would use pornography."

It was a great motion to debate on a hot day. He went through the debate well. After that, he stayed to watch his apprentices debate.

[Night event]
The team decided to go for a supper and he hop in for a meal after a long tiring day at 2.00 a.m. looking for "Bak Ku Teh" but in vain. So the driver went to a mamak store instead. He wasn't driving but laying drowsily at the backseat with another apprentice called Tan.

As the driver swirled the car near the mamak store and waiting for the second car to come. Another car in front, started it engine and bang on our car. Head on head.

"Wow, I just woke and the minute I opened my eyes, I saw that car came straight at us without looking the front!"

Luckily, it was only the bumper that fall on the ground. If it was anything serious like the engine or the compartment inside, all the people in the car will be in deep shit.

Both driver came out and negotiate.

He was the first one out to investigate the problem.

Negotiation took place for half an hour with a busybody mechanic poking his business.

Finally, the decision was to meet the clumsy guy tomorrow for a compensation.

At the end of that event was having his meal at a mamak store instead of "bak ku teh" and with a bang.

[Third day, the closing ceremony.]
He couldn't make it to the closing ceremony because he had to follow the driver.

Whole process of repairing took almost 2 hours. Missed the ceremony and the weather was like the Sahara Desert.

Went home withour any satisfaction because he didn't manage to watch the ending.

C.Luke, the "team leader" came out another "splendid" idea of going to MMU Melaka to watch the debate and social night. That's so not thoughtful!

[Third day, night event]
By the time, everyone reached MMU Melaka it was already evening. Everyone managed to watch a round of debate and it's already night.

Now, the internal debate start when C.Luke proposed to stay for the social night. Some opposed and some agreed. But what astonishing was C.Luke said one car will be staying and another car will leaving home. Since C.Luke and Roy was the only two drivers, when both of these drivers want to stay, who's driving? The iswara belongs to someone else, and C.Luke was given the responsibility over it.

Therefore, some commotion arises from the apprentices that want to go home.

[To be continue..]