is sky the limit... oh yeah... sky is sure not the limit... hahahahaha...
22. If you want more sex, tell your girl an attractive woman hit on you
that day. Sixty percent of the time, it works every time.
Here is my continuation ordeal on my whole weekend. It is so tormenting and I am still suffering from this whole devilish incident.
Boss of the restaurant came out with his hood from the kitchen after one waiter went to inform him about our incident.
Boss: You don’t want to pay?
Me: Not that I don’t want to pay but its RM660.85. My order is not that and your cashier believe some stranger who claimed to be my sister included their meal in my bill. All total to RM660.85. My god its almost RM700!
Boss: You got to pay!
Me: Well, I am not paying for this bloody amount! You can call the police!
Boss: So you think you can get away with this?
Me: Yes, I am right. I will only pay for the portion I am held accountable.
* Police arrived *
After another half an hour of discussion with the owner, police and me, I was told
Police: I’m sorry, the culprit is gone. Food has been served and consumed and the culprit is gone too. Now that the bill has been charged, you might just settle the bill. We can’t do much about it.
After minutes later, I just signed the whole damn receipt with my credit card.
Me: Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…. RM660.85 of dinner… Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… Arghhhhhhhhhhh…
Wife: Oi! Oi! You bising bising buat apa?! Kacau orang tengok Korean drama… Tidor pun bising… Makan pun bising… Pangsai pun bising! Apa you tak bising? Huh! Huh!...
Me: Hehehehe… I was dreaming, low poh…
Wife: Dream! Dream! Only eat and sleep like a pig… what you dream?
Me; I dream I got conned RM660.85 lar… we went to seafood restaurant and one girl claimed to be my sister told the cashier that I will be paying for her mar… then this receipt I signed with credit card… I lost RM660.85…
Wife: PLEASE LAR… dream lost RM660.85 only mar… there are people got conned more than you lar… ar cheh! Lost RM660.85 also want to scream. Dah lar hari hari kiamsap… tidor pun mau kiamsap… PIIIGI lar!
Me; sob sob… sorry sorry… I go back to sleep…
Thank god, it is just a dream. I am so relieved. Kiamsap? No lar, I am not kiamsap… er, maybe I am kiamsap. Hehehehehe…
Is sky the limit… just dreaming only...
I was going to have my dinner with my wife who was there waiting for me. That night we intended to have crabs, prawns and some oysters. Yes, it was my wife’s idea to have seafood in the afternoon. After my meeting, I rushed straight to that place. Upon reaching the place, I found the place not so crowded and took my seat.
Dinner started and crabs, prawns, oysters, and fish were brought to our table. Suddenly, a beautiful girl came to our table. Both my wife and she greeted and started chatting. I thought she must be my wife’s friend because she was talking to her; laughing and talked throughout the meal. Not before long, the guest left and so we continued our dinner.
At the cashier, the receipt showed to me was amount RM660.85! I was immediately freeze and I just could not looked away from amount. It was so expensive! I looked backed at the cashier and asked if this receipt from my table. She nodded her head. I could not believe our dinner cost this much. Bloody. I immediately looked over the items billed in the receipt.
Me: * scanned scanned * eh, I did not order abalone or shark fin soup, and then this sea cucumber and mud crab king… plus those bottles of Heineken… can you just check again?
Cashier: No, the girl who sat with your wife and you just now said you
will pay for their meal…
Me: WTF?! Say that again! Which girl you see I told to charge into my bill?
Cashier: Sir, are you trying to not to pay this? Please pay, it was she who told you that you are her brother and will pay for her dinner…
Me and wife: WTF?! I don’t have a sister… your sister is in Labuan… WTF?!
* I got panic *
Cashier: Please pay up!
Me: * WTF who in the right mind will bring RM600 for one stupid dinner * It must be the lady you talked to. * I looked back at my wife *
Wife: No, I thought it was your friend. She said HI and started talking and I thought you knew her.
Me: *_* … * Please someone help me! I am seeing stars *
Cashier: Sir, if you don’t pay up I will call the police.
Me: Hey, its true that she is not my sister. You call the police? I also call the police.
I know that you had bought a software from our company, Software Husband version 1.0. You told us that once you have installed this software all other programs and files are either converted or not active anymore. In fact, this is an Operating System that will override any other operating system, system files and other programs like Boyfriend Flirt 2.1, Boyfriend Explorer 3.1 and etc.
Software Husband version 1.0 lets you get more advance features in Kitchen Management System and even improve your Cooking Library and Developer Network. Our design from the technical team acknowledges your concern. Our team said that it is our product feature and behavior.
When you finish installing, below are the following features Software Husband 1.0:
1. Shopping Spree Management & Monitoring Console 1.0
2. Women's Nightout
Management & Monitoring Console 1.0
3. Credit and Financial Control 1.0 (Optional if there is external Cash Memory)
4. Kitchen Management System & Upgrades
5. Cooking Library and Developer Network (CLDN)
6. Home and Environment Management System 1.0
7. Kids and Baby Supervision System 1.0
8. Laundry Management System 1.0
Beside that, you will also get a new tool:
6. Hierarchical Family Planning and Development Tool
Feature 6 is for love, child planning and development and it is a great feature coz it has a lot of design and patterns and styles for you to use with Software Husband 1.0.
Feature 6 is a core tool that comes with the package.
Regardless of all the above feature, you should be aware that you are only entitle to one Software Husband 1.0. Licensing fees is included in the Software Matrimonial Package. It is for life and guaranteed but you are advice to get the Husband Antiviral Software to protect him from sickness.
For you information, our company is having an upgrade right now. Here are the list of available upgrades you can select over time:
1. Software Husband Enterprise 1.1
2. Software Husband Professional 1.1
3. Software Husband Home Edition 1.1
4. Software Husband Extended 1.1
5. Software Husband for Student Edition 1.1 (This is only available if you are studying Home Sciences. Please present your Engagement card when purchasing)
Please Do Not Make Copies of your Software Husband 1.0.
Uninstalling this software requires Matrimonial Functional Consultant.
P/s: Add/Remove Program in your System does not have the Software Husband 1.0 icon. The system does not allow manual removal.
Software Husband Inc. 2005
Original letter composer: William aka wilstroth
This original copy of my joke written and published can still be found in her blog
is sky the limit... bringing out some old created jokes from jasmine aka cosmoblogger
Hi, lets take a look at another of my twisted mind. Say you are a man and when you wake up you have become a woman. The same goes for ladies. Again, say you are a lady and when you wake up you have become the world most beautiful lady. Now here is the catch.
If you wake up as a man then all the men in this world has become ladies. Now, when you wake up you get ready to go to work. It is peaceful and quiet. No highway jams. The roads are empty. Not a single soul. The traffic light are left blinking on its own. The giant malls are so eerily quiet. You reach your working place. The parking lot is empty. No security guards and no people. It is so quiet that you only heard yourself.
You walked to the lift and goes up to your department. As you enter, you see millions of cubicle stretch to the end of the department. You see no heads or others. Just plain empty. Except for the ticking of the clock. You give a loud sighed and walked to your cubicle. The moment you confirm your buttock on the chair you hear someone giggling. You looked the right and to the left. No one. You start to wonder if its your mind.
The moment you looked at your screen you see a silhouette of a lady standing behind you. Is it a reflection of something else or is it really someone. Immediately you turned to the back to see who was it. A lady in red. She was dressed in the most beautiful dress. She looked at you and smiled. Of course, you being a gentleman you need to smile back. You were peculiar with her standing behind you and asked her why she was there. She just laughed non stop. A man’s laughing voice. Not to forget, that you have woke up as a man but originally a woman. So your voice is very feminine.
Understandably, if you happen to see someone suddenly appear behind you, you would like run very fast because it might be some specter. Therefore, I shall asked you to run as fast as possible. But more and more ladies appear from the floor. Until you could not reach the lift. Your heart thumping faster and faster. There is a fire stairs but it is also block by another lady. They are coming nearer and nearer to you. Your mind start to reel up ideas to escape. In one attempt, you ran as fast as you could and hit the windows, crashed and you have leaped off the building. You are falling so fast that you are going to hit the ground any moment. Unfortunately, you did not stop falling. Instantly you are kept afloat. More and more ladies stay afloat and surrounded you. You asked them this question, “What do you all want?”
If you don’t understand my story that is not a necessary for you to do so because it is intentionally written like that to keep your mind thinking of today’s world of human relationship. It could represent many variables of ideas in a rapidly moving society.
I leave you to your thinking and form your own wildest dream. I end here with another of my twisted yet cryptic ideas.
Is sky the limit… Confusion and nevertheless you do not know the answer… think again!
This blog of mine has reached its one year and four months old. Another 6 months and one year to go before it bid its last entry in episode 3. There are many times I asked myself why did I started blogging. Here is a story of my twisted mind.
Once upon a time, there was this loner in one of millions of cubicles in the cubic world. Everyone lived in a cubicle. They eat, sleep, play and shit in their cubicles. Although there are a few loners in the cubic world but many of them are celebrity popsicles. Everywhere they go, people will definitely want some sweetness from these celebrity popsicles. One day, loners in the cubic world decided to have their own sweetness in fame. They started a group called expressers.
They expressed their feelings and concerns to the world of cubic. Each of them get to express their voice out to the citizen of cubicles. It took only one entry and they were shot to the sky like fire crackers. They were heard daily and increasingly more focus on their updates. Regardless if their concerns and feelings were humorous, serious, environmental, love, hatred, satirist or political but it was the only one part of them to let the world of cubic to know of their existence. World of cubic was equivalent to the millions of cubicle combine to become one big piece of the jigsaw puzzle. Just one expression, all other celebrity popsicles, loners, ragers, unfaithfuls, jokers, spouses, know it alls and many more expressionist will go remark on it.
As expressionist become more famous and elaborate yet a bit of generalization they become the bloggers. They will blog with words type in their mind and express into the form understood and readable by other blogsters and blogstanders. Blogstanders would just read and at times try to find flavours from different blogsters. In contrast to blogstanders, blogster will contribute their expression as well as reading others to get a connection and be in part of the world of blogs. World of cubic also slowly start to evolve and it eventually burst into millions of galaxies. Thus, it creates the island of blogs with different flavors.
Therefore, these flavors represented each blogsters own domain from the world of cubic outburst. Some eventually become tech blogs. Some eventually become social blogs. Some eventually become political blogs. Some eventually become family blogs. Some eventually become sex blogs. Some eventually become personal blogs. Some just pop and move on and form other type of alternative form of expression.
So the linkage of me in this world of cubic or should I say world of blogs infected me by another blogster who sees blogs as one way to communicate herself. Indeed, I was one of the loners in the world of cubic but eventually evolve too to become, not a celebrity popsicle, but another rat in a blog of maze. Blogging until I found the exit. That exit will be my last episode. Episode 3.
This is my story. The end.
Is sky the limit… blog of gateway to millions of unheard expressions…
An Ah Long in action demanding payment
from my neighbor and it reads,
"Ah Lim, big con man, talk not honor, owed me money and not pay"
This picture was taken on several weeks ago when my opposite apartment neighbor had to fled an Ah Long who came that night to shift out all of his furnitures. This message was scribble across his apartment wall. It still can be seen until now.
But because PTPTN was setup to help needy students to get through their education by offering them a loan therefore being part of the society students should repay PTPTN's loan. And they tried to be lenient with the repayment but there are some who abused the system. Just imagine you had been hard on repaying your PTPTN and someone is not paying it.
For me, i will continue on paying my loans to PTPTN until I am release from it. Yes, getting the loan to study was easy and had helped me a lot but still it is a debt that has to be repay!
is sky the limit... students should pay... it's a debt...
Me: Cheh! Why ask me to come lar! You kacang ar?!
Wife: eh, what’s the matter? Park lar… he asked you mar…
Me; No lar… look!
* I pointed to the pillar *
Wife: Aaaa Cheeeh!... then why signaled us to come closer… he crazy ar?
* So I drove to another packing space *
Not bad, Cineleisure Damansara has a parking spot near the entrance for the ladies. Ladies will feel safer now when they watch midnight movies.
Is sky the limit… ladies parking only…