Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Unthinkable incident...

I do not know how to begin on this entry. This morning, i saw something and it reflects upon me. Conversations were spoken in Cantonese:

Old Nenek : * looking around after paying her bill *
Me : * I looked at her *

Old Nenek : * she looked at me and then to the Uncle near her *
Me : * I was still looking at her *

ON : * then she turned to the uncle * Sing sang, sing sang, um koi pong ngor chuen wah lar... um koi ar... um koi ar...
Uncle : ok ok... meh si ar poh poh...

**old granny : mr.. mr.. can you help me to translate... thank you.. thank you...
**uncle : ok ok... what is granny?

ON : Tou sin ngo bei tin than... tan hai hui yao bei fan ngo ee kor tan leh... hui yao mou man ngor lor chuen... leh pong ngor man hui ee kor sui than sai um sai bei ar...
Uncle : ok ok... tak tak...

**granny : i paid my bill just now... but she returned me back this bill... and she did not asked me for money... can you ask her whether i need to pay my water bill?
**uncle: ok ok... can... can...

Uncle : Nenek ini dia kata bagi bil elektrik tapi you takder tanya dia wang untuk bil air...
Post Office Clerk : oh, dia bagi letter air bukan bil air...

**Uncle : OOOI!! You! WTF! this poor granny here give you water bill why you don farking ask her for money?

**PO clerk : Nia ma... she give me this a letter... not farking water bill...

ok ok... just kidding... i made it up...

**Uncle : this granny here said she gave you her water bill and why you did not ask money from her?

**PO clerk : oh, she gave me cover letter... not the water bill...

Uncle : ok ok... * he turns to the poh poh *... poh poh ar... hui wah lei mou beh hui sui than... ee kor um hai sui than lei keh... lei wan har yat bin lei keh sau toi...
ON : Mou meh? ee kor um hai sui than lei kar?

**Uncle : ok ok... granny, she said you did not give her water bill... this is not water bill... can you search in your bag?

**Granny : No? this is not water bill?

Uncle : Hai lor...
ON : orh... orh... ngo wan har... * so she looked in her bag * ...ngor chau kei tak ngor ying koi you bei sui than... kai lei kai hui thim kai ngor chung yau gum thor chuen...

**Uncle : Yes...

**Granny : ok ok... i search for it... i remembered i need to pay water bill... count here count there i still blur why so much money in my hand..

* I passed by them to pay my bill next to their counter *

Uncle : ...
ON : wan tou lar... lei tai ham mai ee kor...?

**uncle : ...

**granny : i found it! Can you check if this is water bill?

Uncle : hai lar.. poh poh... lei hor yi beh hui...
ON : * she gives the water bill to the clerk and pay the money *

**uncle : yes, granny... you can pay her now.

Uncle : ok lar... poh poh..
ON ; um koi ar... um koi ar... ngor tit chai lui yau um heong... ngor you kar ki lei... ngor keh kei sing chun hou hou...

**granny : thank you... thank you... my sons and daughters not around... i need to settle this on my own... my memory still very good...

Uncle : * nod nod and smile smile *...

I am still thinking about this incident...

is sky the limit... poh poh... kei sing very good!

Taking a break...

It has been another year again. I feel so lazy. Lazy in everything. I just want to eat (argh!, my personal hair stylist said, 'I noticed you'd put on weight') and sleep. This is what i am feeling right now:

oh, i feel so lazy...

I am taking a break for a while...

is sky the limit... i'll be back...

Friday, December 01, 2006

they say ITS pink if he is a virgin

Yesterday, someone asked me about natural human procreation question. So to share with you all about some of sex education you can get from me. Here is the first main question:
miss z: got something to ask u... hehehe... do you agree that men have sex for lust...women have sex for love ?
me: no i don't agree... because men and women are human and... human got emotion... emotion include lust, jealousy, pervertness, happy and etc... so women and men do have sex either for lust or for love ... both too... but the ultimate objective of sex is to pro-create and multiply human population.

(Editor's note: careful, nowadays AIDS are widespread... the right way is to be is that you found yours truly!)

Now here comes the second main question:

miss z: if that's the case, why some do (sex) before marriage or why guys wear condom ?

me: i asked you one question, can you abstain from sex?
miss z: u mean deny sex ?

me: yup, deny from sex until you married.
miss z: yes.

me: Then that answer your first question. Now for the next question, guys wear condom so you won't get pregnant. Easy right? Well, the ultimate thing in wearing condom is to prevent AIDS. Practice safe.
miss z: but first question answered meh???

me: yup... when you answer yes meaning you can abstain from sex before marriage... meaning its depends on the individual... some like and some don't like... again, that depends on the individual in thinking... what if you answer no...?

(Editor's note: I do not know about today's trend and culture. But wouldn't it be nice to find yours and truly, settle down and then matter it later? My suggestion to all is don't simply just jump in. Think before you do as it involves more than one person emotionally... )

me: now i asked you back... What would you do if you had sex before marriage?
miss z: i'll feel betrayed.

me: Well it all depends * what's done is done * .. some girls who prefer after marriage then sex maybe its religion thingy, some personal principle, some are taught that (sex abstinence until marriage) should be the right way and so forth. Well, if i were you i won't felt betrayed cos you might never know the other party you are marrying is virgin or not... he says he is virgin.. you believe ar? Is there any way to detect a guy being a virgin?

miss z: got one theory to detect wor....
me: how? Tell me...

miss z: why u wan to know?
me: hahahaha i want to know lar...

miss z: u wan to check whether is it true?

me: yup.

miss z: hehehehe
me: heheheheheh... don't lar hehehehe... Tell lar... We all are big boys and big girls oredy. Nothing to be ashamed lar.

miss z: ok... they say ITS pink if he is a virgin
me: wah lau eh... who told you that?

miss z: Are you checking it now? hehehehehe...
me: mine one pink whole year long... come on lar * ini theory maciam pun boleh ar?! *... who told you that?!

miss z: stranger...
me: hahahahahahaha... i don't think so...

miss z: what theory you have then?
me: i dun have any theory to that... hahahahahaha... the only thing i know is this... if your husband is clumsy in sex.. then most probably he hasn't done before. If your husband is pro then you know lar...

miss z: poke in the wrong hole? hahahahaha...
me: poke in the wrong hole??!! hahahahaha... I think by today's world standard... any hole pun boleh... hahahahahahahahhaha...

miss z: cool! Were u clumsy?
me: eh... so private punya question ... why u want to know? Cannot tell... cannot tell... shh... shh...

A community message from Is Sky The Limit : Episode 2. Regardless of sex after or before marriage... practice safe sex and think safe. You can make a difference.

is sky the limit... practice safe and think safe... you can make a difference!

Thursday, November 30, 2006

What did Yahoo! mail said to Gmail?

Here is a joke that i just came out during lunch time. Yes, i got nothing to do. Here goes:

what did Yahoo! mail said to Gmail?

'mail me your GString'

what did Hotmail said to Gmail?

'i'm Hot on your GSpot'

now, laugh!

ha... ha... ha...

is sky the limit... mail me your Gstring...

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

This is the 200th post... and i am feeling...

Hi all, this is the 200th post and i am feeling a bit like below plus with all the current situation i am now in.

is sky the limit... yikes! argh!

Monday, November 27, 2006

Julie Cheng's Wedding! Congrats!

Wedding reception at Klang Executive Club... food was great! Roasted duck crispy and juicy!

Outside the dinner reception...

from top left : Eric Chiang, Chester, Chester's gf, JULIE, Imelda, Ee Lyn
from seated left : Kevin (Ruth's husband), Ruth, me, and Kerry.

is sky the limit... Julie's Wedding!

Thursday, November 23, 2006

OK, you are hired...

In a chat with thumbelina, one part of her conversation was regarding her friend getting a new job:

thumbelina : she just got hired...
me : wow... the interview was successful

thumbelina : this weekend need to go to her party celebration...
me : wow...

thumbelina : what to do... i am also looking for an employer...
me : dun worry, you need to open up to more opportunity... and look around...

thumbelina : but now market not so good lar...
me : its just time and temporary only... when the bull runs ... there will be a lot of bulls.

thumbelina : but i don't like bull leh...
me : what do you like then?

thumbelina : moose.
me : oooh...
Actually in this conversation, we are refering to her friend getting employed as a Mrs coming this weekend *. So Thumbelina is hoping to find her beau... she liken her beau as a moose!

*Editorial Note: There was a mistake as pointed out by Thumbelina, her friend is actually getting married in Jan, 2007. Thousand Apologies!!!

i can imagine he will be big and strong... plus powerful and having a pair of hard antlers...hahahahahahaha... oh my...
thumbelina : she is going to become Mrs X... she got employed by Mr X...
me : good for her... the interview was a success!

is sky the limit... employment market in Malaysia is still hot...

After two years of running ISTL...finally!!!

After running ISTL for almost two years! two years!... someone finally used my quote that i left in her blog... kembang! kembang!... hahahaha... i deserve a bit lar (bei har min lar - give some face lar)... after two years of blogging and nearly the end of this episode one blogger, 'Lobak'soup, used my quote... oh yeah... feels good! Good!

Ok, to celebrate this, lunchtime roti kosong and air kosong my treat!!!

is sky the limit... hahahahahahahaha...

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Why men are hamsup? It’s our nature… otherwise, big problem!

Let me define the word hamsup before you read on.

Hamsup – An action that either men or women become arouse or excited when they see the opposite gender. In modern times, excitation can be due to the same gender too. Hamsap-ing meaning excitation of the opposite or same gender in process.

“I don’t know why you like to watch porno so much. I don’t know why you so hamsup.“

As a man, you obviously can’t stop from watching those stuffs that you think is wrong. Deny watching hamsap film is futile. We men love it very much. Ok lar, to one extend lar. So much so if a man is alone without companion(s). Unless, he is gay. Then it will be a different story altogether (brokeback mountain). Well naturally, i am a man.

Here is how I explain to her.

Me : Do you know why I got all this things to read and watch, dear?
Girlfriend then : why? Hamsup lor…

Me : No, you have to look at the overall picture. Hamsup I get to that part later.
Girlfriend then : yeah … yeah …

Me : shhh… Me being a man should not be deprive all this beautiful stuffs because it helps to relive tension and stress.
Girlfriend then : yeah… plainly you are hamsup!

Me : ahhh… you don’t get my point… as I was saying, being alone without you is unbearable… so as an alternative this replace you…
Girlfriend then : Huh…

Me : If I don’t hamsup these things… I will be going out to another girl…
Girlfriend then : You dare try! * showing her fist *

Me : That is the problem… if I don’t hamsup this things then can I hamsup you?
Girlfriend then : Go away… pervert!

Me : You should be lucky that I hamsup you!
Girlfriend then : Why?

Me : Coz, if I don’t hamsup you and these stuffs… it will be a big problem!
Girlfriend then : yeah right… the whole world will fall down… you can always go find another girl mar… * she looked down sad *

Me : That is NOT the point! You want me to hamsup guys ar?!
Girlfriend then : Hahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahaha….

Me : See… does that answer your question why I hamsup you and my stuffs?
Girlfriend then : you go hamsup guys lar… I go find a new one…

Me : Hehehehehe… that is smart of you… therefore, I am going to hamsup you from now on!
Girlfriend then : hahahahahahahahahaha… you go away! Pervert! Wolf!

Me : haahahahahhahahahahaha… oooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!

Is sky the limit… that is how I made her to be my wife! No lar, just kidding!

Do something quiet... you are watching XXX .. my god!.

If my wife occupies the bedroom and do her work, I will be out in the living room watch TV, play games on my notebook or think of something to write in this blog. If whatever I do and I am very quiet, she will question me.

Wife : Low kung! What are you doing outside? Why so quiet?
Me : * playing StarCraft and headphone glue to my ears * …

Wife : Low kung!
Me : yeah?

Wife : What are you doing?
Me : playing StarCraft…

Wife : So quiet?
Me : yeah…

Wife : You are watching porno in the living room, aren’t you?
Me : no…

Wife : You must be!
Me : no…

Wife : Admit it!
Me : ok ok… yeah I am watching porno…

Wife : hehehehehe… good!
Me : *_*” ... Mana ada keadilan?

Moral of the story : Guys, if you are doing something quietly… you are watching porno…

Is sky the limit… playing StarCraft and watching porno at the same time… god must be crazy!

Parents should be beat their kids, if they do wrong...

At night, my wife had a conversation with me on child control:

Wife : What is the best way to teach a kid if he’d done something wrong?
Me : Cane, slap and threaten them. Maybe throw them out of the house just to scare them.

Wife : Wah so ganas ar? Nanti the kid got side effects next time…
Me : Looked at me… do I looked like I got side effects…?

Wife : Yeah.. hamsup, pervert, bodoh… want me to go further?
Me : ok ok… I am going to sleep…

So readers, if you don’t threaten your kids, your kids will threaten you back next time, I don’t have a kid yet so here is a scenario:

Son : Pa, I need cash..
Me : Why?

Son : I need to vote for this idol… I love this idol!
Me : You gay ar! Wasting my money… Go back to your room and study!

Son : if you don’t give it to me… I… I… I…
Me : ok … what are you going to do?

Son : I’ll run away from home and… and… and…
Me : ok… and what are you going to do then?

Son : I’ll find my own money…

Ok, readers, there is a solution for this. Don’t worry.

Me : While you do that and pack your things and leave this house… I will ensure that 15 minutes you are packing… somebody is going to get a huurt real bad!... Real bad…

Hehehehehe… I got that last quote from Russell Peters on “Why you should beat your kids” segment… I like that part…

Is sky the limit… kids, please don’t go threaten your old man… somebody might get hurt…

A rebellious prefect in my early secondary years...

I was a rebellious prefect in my early secondary years.

Teacher : Jangan biar saya tangkap murid yang tidak ada hantar kerja rumah…

Me : oh I am so shit…

Teacher : * started checking homework against her student attendance list for those who did not hand in theirs *
Me : * who cares… yes, I did not do my Karangan *

Teacher : Ah, ini seorang… * she called out my name *
Me : * I am so shit… I am the only one who did not submit the Karangan *

Teacher : Kamu ini seorang pengawas, kenapa tidak hantar kerja rumah?
Me : * kept quiet *

Teacher : Mana kerja rumah?
Me : Tidak ada buat…

Teacher : Kenapa tidak buat? Malas ya? Inilah contoh seorang pengawas… * The whole class just kept quiet *
Me : … * so what do you want me to do?! Go hang myself? *

Teacher : Beri alasan kepada saya kenapa tidak buat?
Me : Tidak tahu… * I walked back to my seat *

Teacher : Inilar tingkah laku seorang pengawas. Biadap!
Me : * so? Are you going to hang me? *

Teacher : Kamu tidak wajar menjadi seorang pengawas… tidak berguna, biadap, bodoh!
Me : * ok lar… I quit pengawas lor *

I still hanged on to my position as pengawas until Form 4. I quit it altogether after one blardy Singh accused me of not supporting the Lembaga Pengawas. Screwed the Lembaga Penagawas! As though as my future depends very much on it. So who cares!

Is sky the limit… That karangan I was lazy to do…

11:30pm… What to eat for dinner?

We had a real late dinner last Sunday,

Me : eh… low poh, you hungry? Me, very lar... we skipped dinner today, remember?
Wife : Yeah me too… what should we do? Its 11:30pm now…

Me : what about mee goreng mamak?
Wife : Don't feel like having it…

Me : ok, what about nasi goreng mamak?
Wife : No.

Me : ayam goreng Mcd and white rice?
Wife : Night lar… don’t you think its too oily?

Me : oh ok, I go out buy bubur ayam and a few pieces of Yow Char Kuey to dip and eat?
Wife : Nah… its still oily… and bubur ayam? Bubur only for sick people ok?

Me : ok lar… standard food, I boil rice and steam a few cheese sausages from the fridge?
Wife : Ahhhh… ok ok… hehehehehe…

Me : * immediately got up from my bed and go do overtime in the kitchen *
Wife : * opened up her notebook and played Bejeweled 2 *

Is sky the limit… cook at home and eat at home and wash the dishes after that!

Mouth ulcer and salt… syok!

My feeling right now is unbearable, 1 minute just now I put salt on my mouth ulcer.

Me : Arghhh…. * eyes become watery *
Wife : oh my god… what have you done?

Me : Arghhh… don’t ask… Arghhh… * closing both eyes *
Wife : ee..yer…

Me : * mouth still shut * .. * one part of the mouth became numb a bit *
Wife : ayo… ayo… so kesian…

Me : Argh… oh syok!
Wife : *_*” ... why are you tormenting your ulcer... you should gargle with salt water... not dabbing straight onto it! Kanasai!

Tormenting is a nice word... cos' we are tormented everyday in the office... right?

Is sky the limit… salt on mouth ulcer… its good…

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Bloggin' From The Curve's Cathay Cinema...

The Curve, 11/19/2006 - Hi i am bloggin' live from The Curve Cinema. Watching Deathnote and James Bond : Casino Royale.

Wanted to do this for quite some time but never got the chance as these terminals are always occupied. So here i am getting a grip with this terminal.

6:15pm Deathnote

9:00pm James Bond : Casino Royale

Yup, two shows in an evening. It has been a long time since i've done such feat with my wife. Currently she is using the next terminal. Oh yeah, feel good to be bloggin' from Cathay's access.

See you all next week...

is sky the limit... Casino Royale and Deathnote...

Friday, November 17, 2006

It's sem break, mate

It's over.

It's finally over.

What happen when you wake up, you notice a missing hole in your life?

[i]"What is happening in the world today is that the fool are always confidence while the wiser always doubt in their mind."[/i]


Wednesday, November 15, 2006

It's test

It's test for everyone whenever or whoever you are and ...

"Hmm, excuse me, mister.. This is a potion for solving problems and memorizing formula during test." "Only cost you RM20, buy 4 free 1..."


Well, isn't that good if we have such a potion in real life?

Tomorrow is last paper for the Crude, he'll be flying away again after that.

"Wee.. I'm going home."

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Is it a No or is it a YES... please?

The complexity of living in the society has become very difficult and people are finding it tough to earn money. Don't you find it hard to say the word ‘NO’ to either strangers or friends nowadays. Why I said that is because everyone wants a piece of you OR someone to listen their demand. There are many examples to this situation.

For example, your boss asked you to do something beyond your job scope or contradicts your principles and understanding. Do you dare or wish to say NO? Even the ShitiBank promoters who called you also can’t take NO for an answer. What’s more with those lottery scam runners also won’t take NO but are more persistent to persuade you.

I wonder what the world has turned to. Is NO such a bad word for people to accept it. In oppose to that, if you answer YES you still won’t be able to get what you want. For instance below:

Boss : Do you want a pay increment?
You : YES
Boss : Due to the company economical I am afraid that is impossible.

Girlfriend : Do you like sex?
You : YES
Girlfriend : Hehehehehe… get married first….

Supervisor : Do you want a bonus?
You : YES
Supervisor : Show me what you can do with this project first

4D Punter : Do you want to strike millions?
You : YES
4D Punter : No money No Bet

Perfume Sales Girl : Would you like to try this? It’s a new product.
You : YES
Perfume Sales Girl : Its only RM350 and its on promotion

Its so ironic. People don’t like to hear the word NO. On the other hand, the word YES is not as good as it is said out.

You tau makan? YES

Is sky the limit… do you want to eat? Boss, I want a pay raise, can ar? NO…

Rumah Keranda...

Last night, an idiot was annoying me by looking for someone called Rizal. Some dumbfark did not get his number right when making SMS.

The first was a missed call while I was in the shower. Then second came when I was about to came out from the bathroom. It rang twice, you know, I thought it was my mom or dad on something urgent. But the fark hanged up by the time I answered. Shit, I was half naked, wet and can’t even see clearly rushing out to pick the call. Geeze!!!!

Then this fark started SMS. After a few annoying SMS which i ignored (hopefully that fark will realized his error) and out of kindness i also did replied that there is no such fark. The last straw, this fark was so persistence in finding out who was using Rizal number. This is what I received: (DAMN BLARDY DISTURBING)

first half of message

second half of message

This is what i replied to 016-5462260:

is sky the limit... dun play play...

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Today my brain says NO

Me : Hey brain, what is wrong with you? Nothing to say?
Brain : Nope. Don't disturb me.

Me : Why can't i disturb you?
Brain : Nothing.

Me : Come on tell me... we are best buddies, right?
Brain : Nah... you only look for me when you can't solve your problems... I dun want to talk to you!

Me : Come on man... its just one simple question... easy right? Look at it here...
Brain : No. I am not listening to you.

Me : Its just one line of question here, mate... its not difficult...
Brain : No.

Me : Look i appreciate you for what you are doing... but you are the expert here in thinking and processing...
Brain : Thanks but no thanks... dun disturb me...

This is the day my brain protested and shut me off...

is sky the limit... human brains and computer processors... what is the trade off?

Friday, November 03, 2006

Crude Hasting : Flash Development

Please click here to download your Crude Hastings's flash file click me

is sky the limit... flash

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

ISTL Introducing - Twisted Thoughts : The World And You Alone

After some weeks of twisting my thoughts and trying to get an ending to it, here you are, i present you Twisted Thoughts : The World and You Alone. It has four parts. The last one not longer than the second and third part. However, the second and third part are very long to be put in a blog. However, it represents my own twisted ideas. I must say its one of completed stories. I had started a number of stories but not one is finish. Here you are, one completed story from ISTL:

Twisted Thoughts : The World And You Alone - Part 1
Twisted Thoughts : The World And You Alone - Part 2
Twisted Thoughts : The World And You Alone - Part 3
Twisted Thoughts : The World And You Alone - Part 4 (Final)

I hope you enjoy reading this stories...

is sky the limit... the world is not the limit...

Twisted Thoughts : The World And You Alone Part 4 (Final)

This will be the ending of this twisted thoughts story. Lets end this story with this beginning. As you drive off into the highway, you saw many cars had stalled in the middle of the road. Some cars had veered off into the emergency lane. Some had toppled over. You had to drive carefully to avoid this stranded cars in the highway. It was almost half an hour of driving that the highway has less stranded cars. You pick up speed. As the city view become less and the country side becomes more visible, you notice something unusual. The trees were uprooted and floating a few meters from the ground. Although the trees’ roots were still attached to the ground, it is as though the tree were lifted by their roots. How amazing, you thought. You stopped your SUV. You looked around. The whole forest looked like floating in the air. The sun is definitely shining brightly, sky is absolutely clear of clouds and you can see hills from your position. You drove on slowly. After some time, you had gotten use to the new environment that you decided to stop at one rest house.

The rest house has one flower pot with an ‘X’ marked to its pot. The toilet was clean and smelled of lavender. Feel good and sleepy. You made your business as fast as possible and moved on again into the highway. After some hours or so, you saw another rest house coming up. Having finish a bottle of mineral water, you decided to give nature a call again. This time you saw the same flower pot. Not one but two flower pots. Both had an ‘X’ marked on its pot. The toilet was same and smell same too. You drove on to the highway again. It was hours and the road was just straight. You past another rest house. You made another glimpse at the toilet entrance as you passed by. There are three flower pots with each marked ‘X’. You sped on. The road was straight. After some time, you just realized that all this while, there were not exits to other states. Something is not right. There were no toll or any signs of U-turn so to return back to the city.

The world has gone mad since its population disappeared. ‘Think, think’, you said to yourself. So you decided to drove on. After the tenth rest house, you had enough of this long journey. The fuel was getting low and there were still no sign of exiting this highway. The highway is going straight. You drove on. Resting for breaks when you felt sleepy. Evening arrived and your SUV has nearly diminished all of its petrol. Suddenly, you saw light, a very bright blue light. ‘I can’t take this anymore, thank god!’, you exclaimed. ‘I saw light!’, you beamed happily at the sudden change in the highway. The moment you reach the bright blue light, the whole highway scene changed. The environment now looked so plain. Plain meaning. There is nothing there. Just plain white empty spaces. ‘What the hell’, you murmured.

‘Ahem’, someone coughed. You looked around. There was this person sat just beside the border of the white empty space and the highway. ‘I am sure your mind must have a lot of question to ask’, he smiled at him. He looked old and had a long white beard. He dressed in white suit too. ‘Who are you?’, you asked him. ‘That is a nice car they created for you’, he looked at the Murano. ‘Of course’, he said to himself again. ‘You may come down from the car now’, he gestured to you. ‘Its saved to come out’, he continued with a smile. You walked out of your SUV. ‘What is this place? Who are you?’, you asked again. ‘Well, this is the developer’s environment’, he said. ‘To some of you, I am called the Mother Nature’, he said. You looked hard at him, he doesn’t looked like a mother to be a Mother Nature. ‘Ok, I don’t looked woman to be Mother Nature’, he smiled again. ‘But who of you really know Mother Nature look like’, he said and looked to the SUV and the highway outside the white environment.

‘Some said I am the creator’, he looked back to you. ‘However, I am just the coordinator. I say things downstairs build it’, he pointed below. ‘Up there is management’, he looked up. ‘Never mind you do not understand’, he walked over to you nearer and looked more closely to you. ‘Am I dead’, you asked. ‘No no’, he immediately replied with a laugh. ‘You are absolutely fine, my lad’, he nodded with a smile. You seemed not so convinced. ‘Honestly, you are still alive. Just that you are separated from the rest of the population we created. Its sort of right now the whole entire planet is having an upgrade.’, he smiled again. ‘Are you sure? You are not one of those TV reality shows, are you?’, you asked. ‘Do I looked like one?’ he squinted at you. ‘No!’, he denied it with a full satisfactory tone. ‘My boy, you are looking at one of the most spectacular event that occurred in your life right now. Normally, human like you won’t wake up when we do upgrading to the whole planet. But you’, he said pointing with one finger to your chest. ‘You woke up before we complete our upgrade’, he said and smiled. ‘Normally, we will just shut down human and let them sleep until the whole process is complete but your system just ignore our command. So we decided to let one and only one human to venture and have the luxury to the whole world when we do upgrade. All those things that you had for several years will retain with you when you wake up. Tell no one I trust?’ he said. ‘Alright, ‘ you said reluctantly. Whether to believe him or yourself. ‘Still don’t believe me?’ he smiled at you.

‘Yes, I do not yet’, you looked back at him. ‘Come, let me show you’, he grabbed hold of your hand and walked to the border of the white environment and the highway. He pressed something on his wrist. The whole highway scene change to billions of tiny screen channels. All of them showing individual human sleeping. ‘And you are here’, he pointed at one of the tiny screen. ‘not sleeping’, he continued. His screen showing him standing in the white room with the man. ‘Convince now?’ he asked again. ‘No’ you said. He gave you one slap. ‘Ouch, that hurts!’, he screamed. ‘That hurts and you are definitely not dreaming!’, he confirmed to you. ‘Ok, I get your point!’, you shouted back. ‘So what should I do?’, you asked him back. ‘That depends, the development department will finish their upgrade in 6 months time and you can still fool around and get as many things you want or you can go back to sleep’, he said. ‘I rather go back to sleep and wake up tomorrow with my family, girlfriend and friends’, you looked at him and then down to the white floor. ‘I see’, he smiled again. ‘Feeling lonely in the world and you alone?’, he asked. ‘Yes’, you nodded.

For more of my twisted thoughts click here : - Part 3 - Part 2 - Part 1 -

Is sky the limit… with a snapped of finger you are back sleeping in your bedroom. Sure you will see your loved ones tomorrow plus the goodies you had taken… The End

Twisted Thoughts : The World And You Alone Part 3

Weeks were short with the supply you last got from that mall. You are too tired and bored with the whole silent environment. Again, this story is about to finish, twisted thought, with the world alone and this will be the last story and I hope you enjoy the story from the beginning to the nearing end. Let’s begin. You have woke up sweating. It was hot and summer definitely has arrived. The morning sun was brighter than the other days. Today, you laid on your bed and start to think what will happen if the world did not had its population disappear. Definitely, you will still have your family, girlfriend and your old friends by your side. Not to mention, the feeling sickly silent when you entered your office.

Today you decided to go to your office again for one last time to pack up a few stuffs before you moved on. Yes, you have been wondering what would it be if you decided to get a car and moved out of this city. The country side will be good and also to check out if there are any existing survivors. Now it is also a good time to get back to that mall again and grab that beautiful SUV that you had wanted for a long time. A black Nissan Murano. Yes, that is what you had been thinking of lately. Definitely, you will need a key to get it start up for the journey.

After getting all the necessary stuffs and a few things at home, you gave a last glanced to the office and then your home, and you walked off to the mall. Pack with a backpack – a few pieces of clean clothing, a bottle of water, a pen knife, your wallet, a torchlight, and a bar of chocolate. By the way, you can still get more of these things in the mall. Might be even a box of un-opened CK jeans or t-shirts. A box of Evian water and so on. Anyway, you get more, if you really need, when you reach the mall.

You looked around the auto mart for the SUV’s key. You looked around the auto mart office. Hanging by the side of the room, dangling a few sets of keys and you grabbed every each of it. You move to your Murano. The first key did not opened it by a Ford truck behind. The second key opened a Mercedes Compressor next to it. The third key opened up a Honda City. Finally the last key, Murano sprang to life, the car lock opened and you pack your things into it. You check around the interior. It was lush and a elegant. The feel of it was awesome. You loved it. The fuel level was low. You drive it out of the mall. Tell me, how on earth of someone being lucky not having to pay and drive out a SUV of a mall freely. That was you. Reason simple, the world has disappeared all its inhabitants in one fine day.

You reach the nearest petrol station. There were neither sign of petrol attendant nor other staffs. You parked to the first petrol pump. You walked into the store. Rows of food and snacks, bottle of waters and other amenities you can find in a convenient petrol store. You grab one box of instant noodles, biscuits, chocolate and bottle of mineral bottles. All stored neatly behind your Murano. Last, you went to the counter switch one petrol pump 1 to fuel up your SUV. For the first time in your whole life you had the petrol station to yourself. Furthermore, you can fuel up as much as you like.

As you push the pump into the SUV and start fuelling up, you notice the fuel meter at the petrol kiosk did not increase but decrease. It had its number reading in negative! You stopped for a moment and go back to your SUV and see if its really fueling up. Yes, it was fuelling up. You peered into the petrol tank and there were petrol half fill up. Regardless the petrol kiosk continue to read negative, you just pump away. Strange, you thought.

For more of my twisted thoughts click here : - Part 4 - Part 2 - Part 1 -

Is sky the limit… let drive and forget

Me and Dumbledore...

I have been reading Harry Potter story books for the past one month:

Me : Argh!!!! Dumbledore died… Snape killed him! Gosh… I can’t believe it! Low poh… Snape killed Dumbledore…
Wife : Yeah… sad ending for Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince…

* Reread the ending few times… *

Me : ooh… ayo… ayo…
Wife : Why are you getting so emotional over it?… its just a story…

* After half an hour *

Me : ayo… ayo… Dumbledore…
Wife : eh… get a grip… if he don’t die… no story lar…

* Lunch time *

Me : Dumbledore… I can’t believe it… I like him since book 1… why does he have to die… ayo…
Wife : *_*””… here, eat your okra!

* After dinner *

Me : Damn… Snape… Dumbledore…
Wife : Say Dumbledore one more time… I’ll burn all your Harry Potter books!

Me : ok ok…

* Reread the ending again at night *

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…. Dumbledore died!

Is sky the limit… Dumbledore… Dumbledore

How many HR, Admin and Programmer personnel to open a can of sardine?

One thing happened to me recently and I can’t help myself laughing when I think over it again.

Let me ask you question,

“How many HR personnel, Admin personnel and Programmer to open one can of sardine?”

* got the answer? No? Then, scroll down…

* scroll down…

* scroll down… some more

The answer is one Admin personnel to buy a can of sardine and make an attempt to open it. If fails, the Admin will contact one HR officer to sought out the problem. Realizing the task is difficult to handle, it is then a request is forward to the technical department to have one programmer to go and open it. There upon, the programmer will analyze the situation and looked for available resources or tools to open it correctly. As it seems, in less than 5 minutes, the can was open by a right amount of force, a right amount of proper gripping and both the HR and the Admin staffs monitoring the progress. There you are, the can of sardine is ready to serve.

So it works, right? Hehehehehe…

Is sky the limit… 1 HR, 1 Admin, 1 Programmer… job done!

TC, you should try Spicy Ayam Goreng Mcd with rice!

There is one thing that I always like when it comes to buying a set of Ayam Goreng Mcd. For a start, I will go to the nearest mamak stall and get a pack of white rice. Only then, I head to the nearest Mcd and get my large set Spicy Ayam Goreng Mcd. Of course, I won’t have it there… such eating habit is best kept private in my own house. Talking about private… revealing my eating habit in my blog, I bet Padme will have a word with me, giggling from Kerry and Mitchelle and a head-turn by TC.

Oh yeah! I love white rice with their Spicy Ayam Goreng Mcd… TC, you should try your Spicy Ayam Goreng Mcd with rice… it rox!

Is sky the limit… white rice satu… spicy Ayam Goreng Mcd satu!

Who is She Getting Married To?

Sometimes it happened and you will be sort of hold on and spend a few seconds to process your respond. This is what happen during dinner with my wife.

Me : J is getting married next month. She invited both of us. Do you want to come with me?

Wife : Next month… hmmm… early of the month?

Me : Yeah…

Wife : Hmmm… busy week… I see first… ‘cos I still got a lot of assignment not done yet…

Me : Ok… no problem…

* During half way through my spicy Ayam Goreng Mcd *

Wife : So, who is she getting married to?

* At this moment, I am so compelled to make up a story to tell her. I wanted to laugh. The reason is because she hadn’t met J before. Even if I were to say J’s husband’s name she won’t be able to recognize him, right? So I can just say J is getting married to Mr. Chau Ah Beng. There goes my widest grin… *

Me : err… if I say his name will you know who he is?

Wife : * looked at me… with a don’t-challenge-me face *

Me : ok ok lar.. she is getting married to Tom Cruise… don’t hit me!!!

Wife : * whack * Eat your chee-ken!

Me : sob sob… ok ok…

Is sky the limit… so who are you getting married to?

Saturday, October 28, 2006

The kid with twisted ID...

It's morning, I turned on the radio and the g*ddam Dj broadcast on how to survive when suddenly an important airwave interrupt the channel.

He looked outside and what he saw was a big explosion with the clouds like nuclear bomb. It was indeed a nuclear explosion...

[Heavy effects with a little music.]

The title appeared : "Jericho"

[The story started with a few people running skelter - helter everywhere to find shelter.]

This was the latest series that I'm watching lately. It was interesting with full of mystery and hanging lines. Well, I was hoping a few zombies to appear but in vain.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Twisted Thoughts : The world and you alone Part 2

This is the continuation of my twisted mind from the past entry. It continues. After a week of sleeping and ravaging of food, you decided you wanted something different. Strange as it sound, you want fish and you want meat. That night, restful and dreamless, you woke up to a fresh morning. The alarm rang. It was so loud that it will wake up the people below. Yes, the people. The people who once lived below you do no longer exist. The earth has decided to vanish its inhabitant except one, you, many years ago. You still asked that question of why you exist.

You pack and made haste. You peeped through the door's hole as though you think there will be something out there waiting to snatch you. No, it is just still and silent. You open the door and walked out. The sky is as blue as the sea. It was a bit windy. Again you looked to the opposite of the house and found the same old rusted car stood where it is. You still have your memory on the late owner washing it. You ignored it and this time turned the other way to head to the largest mall in your town.

As you walked up the lane, you saw an old police car crashed onto a lawn. The police car is filled with rose. Mrs. Thorn's rose has crept all over it. As you walked past, you had a glimpsed of its interior content. There were a radio, a mobile computer and a shot gun. You just walked on. The lake as it seems as still as ever. The cloud above is reflecting on it as a ghost. Still and very calm. No birds flew and no airplane, even helicopters. A few rustles of newspaper flew past your path. It was news of yesterday. You still remember when it was hard done on every election of the town. Now it just plain quiet. A few banners and poster stood wasting in front of you.

Now you reach a petrol station. Had it ever wonder to you that you might just go up, press a button on the cashier machine to start filling up your car? Yes you do. You can do it later. The petrol obviously is all yours. No worries of price increasing or decreasing. It is there. Imagine the whole world of petroleum just lay there untouched since the last disappearance. You grab a few chocolate bars before continuing to the mall.

As you near the mall, the weather changed, it had become ready to fell rain. It did. It petered rain from the road up to the sky. It had done so each time since the start of the disappearance. The rain just went up to the sky. It never comes down. The sky will be so filled it just turned white. You quickly ran to the mall entrance. You could feel the rain sliding up your body and your face. You don't feel wet at all. It just goes up. All of it.

However it always left puddle of water and when the sun comes out, you will see little droplets of water vaporizing upwards into thin air. If you manage to feel it with your hands you will feel the sensation of heat caressing your palm. It’s nice. Very nice. Little wonder why it occurs in such manner. It will be a good for researchers. I doubt if the research center is working now. The last disappearance, yes, it is always the last disappearance that says this.

Nevertheless, you stop admiring the rain and walked into the big silent mall. The day event of the mall was left as it is before the last disappearance. The air conditioning is still running. The lights are lighted. Some video stores had its television sets showing static though now no more broadcasting. Just static. You walked along the stores at ground floor. You told yourself you could grab anything you like. The DVD sets, the washing machines, the sofa sets, the fridge, the home theatre, the clothing, the books and all of it. It’s left there and untouched. The previous sales promotion tags were still hanging there. It still read 50% discount. You grinned, 'yeah right, you grabbed a jacket and a cap'. You looked at the mirror. Perfect, you muttered.

You walked around. You reached a perfume shop. You looked at it. You grinned again. 'Why not', you just snap your fingers and you walked in. DKNY, CK and loads more, it’s yours. You grabbed a few. As you left you just told yourself to leave some for next time. Good isn't it. It’s all the last disappearance that had left all this open for grab, by you alone. Now you are heading up to the first floor to a book store. You entered it. The books were neatly left stacked in its bookshelves. Just the way, again, before the last disappearance. You took a few books and went out. Surprisingly the sensor was still working. It blared loudly. You wondered why previous shop it did not blared the alert. You looked around still scared as if a security were come to you. You waited about a minute. Still nothing happen. You just walked away. After a few shops away, the alert just stops. 'Was it someone who stops it?’ you quizzed yourself. Probably, the security office does have someone still exist to monitor him. You waved at the camera. The camera did not turn at all.

You went to the nearest information booth to check up on the mall's security office. It was on the ground floor. You ran down. It was tiring. The escalator was no longer accessible. You reached it. It was still left open. 'Good', you murmured with heavy breath after all those running. You looked around and shouted, 'Hello'. No one answer you. You go into the surveillance room. All the television monitoring the mall just displayed static. No one is here. You walked out of it and headed to the first floor again. You pass through a few shops selling lingerie. You admired it for a while. 'It’s just me, I might grab one if I have a her', you smiled at yourself. The lingerie shop was left untouched. You walk further.Is sky the limit... the silent mall of fortune...

For more of my twisted thoughts click here : - Part 4 - Part 3 - Part 1 -

is sky the limit... the silent mall of fortune

Saturday, October 21, 2006

The missing article : Second Island (Part 1)

[A missing article from the mysterious man.]

On the 29 of August (Wednesday) night, Crude Hasting boarded a KUiTTHO bus and traveled to Terengganu.

It was a debate field trip consisted of 12 people including high and junior ranking debators. All were excited and anticipated for the event in Pulau Perhentian Besar.

-After 8 hours.
The party reached Kuala Besut after 2 hours of zip-zapping and lost™ in Kuala Besut to find the jetty. As the party reached their destination, the party leader looked for Flora Bay Resort to confirm their departure. Flora Bay resort was actually an old sacked building which looks like pirates' hut.

"Aargh, anyone grog?"

Then upon looking around the town at the jetty, it was indeed looked like Silent Hill™ except with residents so it's a hybrid of Silent Hill™ and Resident Evil™.

-After confirmation.
Everyone stomach started to play the drum and roared like bad drummer.

[Music started]

The party leader started to hunt for food with only 45 minutes before the boat leave jetty. The party leader, well, he's not a good decision maker. He brought the whole team around the town but still can't decide what to eat. Just by walking around the town, 15 minutes gone. When the decision arrived, 30 minutes gone. 10 minutes later the food arrived and left 5 minutes for food. Everyone turbocharged with the food. Good leader...

-The interesting part.
We had to pay for the food so we called the young waitress over there. The first thing she asked was "Suku - suku?" Everyone blurred and was wondering was she said. All were stunned and Crude knew something was familiar with that language like a pirate. He replied "Liki-liki?" Everyone on the table laughed. Well, actually, she was asking in Terengganu slang, "Pay individually?".

-Leaving the jetty.
The party left the port and to the Island! This whole sailing took another 30 minutes plus. As we were closer to the destination, we saw two islands... The Perhentian Kecil and Perhentian Besar. Our island to pillage is Perhentian Besar!

"Aye, captain!"

Sorry, skip out the word: pillage.

-Reaching the shore.
Our bags were taken to land with a sampan while we dock at the jetty. At last stood in front of Crude was the BIG VIEW of Pulau Perhentian Besar! Everyone was assigned to their respective rooms. Crude shared it with a senior and a junior plus a HEP guy. (HEP = Student Affair Administrator). Everyone bunked in their bags and started to explore the island. Some plunged into the water while some jogged around the island while the others strolled along the beach before the schedule for the debate start later....

While for Crude, he prefered to enjoy the view of the Island than debating...

[the half part was torn out.. stay tune...]

Why is the blogger "darn" slow? 3 sec delay!

It's so frustrating to log in and write the blog wihout seeing "sorry, there is a problem on the server" or while I'm typing there will be a delay and if I press del, a 3 second delay will happen!!

Even as I'm typing this, there will be a 3 second delay! Bastard...!!!

Me : "Bingung"

Poor little kitten

It's been long since the scourge of the ISTL mysterious man appeared. It's been awhile since he's gone. People started to live on their life and forgotten the existence of this guy. However, before the memory of this guy elapse, he emerged once again before the very eyes of the people for sky isn't the limit.

[Sounds of thunder roaring and clapping.]

Time reversed.
Now, I be bringing the audience back to the day yesterday. Fainted hearted or animal lover shouldn't be reading this.

Yesterday, a wet evening as the rain just stopped. It was dinner time and it was time to forage food from a nearby restaurant. My friend and I decided to take the bike to the place. Not long, as soon as we reached the road to the place, long stretch of vehicles jammed on the very narrow road.

Me and my friend : ???

I expertly swirled my motor through the stationary vehicles stucked on the road. Poor them. Everyone wants to get through. In fact that road is a very "kampung" which seldom see cars pack like sardines in a tin can.

As I swirled closer to the source of the heavy traffic, both of us saw what was devastating and cruelty happend in the middle of the road. A poor kitten head was crushed by a vehicle and the poor kitten was suffering and tormented by the pain inflicted. If it was an instant dead, it be much less sympathy felt but what was agony, was the fact that the kitten screaming in pain in the middle of the road! Stupid driver! It was a hit and run!

Me and my friend : Felt so sad and sympathy. Lost our hungers and felt so sorry for the kitten.

Life is so fragile.

Hmm, I wonder what happened to the kitten after that?

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

What on earth am i writing now? ... No idea...

After she read my two entries before this,

Wife : * whack 9 my head * What the hell are you writing?
Me : hehehehe… some of my weirds thought….

Wife : Go iron my uniform!
Me : ok ok…

Is sky the limit… go iron baju!

Twisted Thoughts : The world and you alone Part 1

Note : Long winding thoughts. Read on if you are only interested...

My mind is twisted again today. Lets imagine again today that you are again alone in the world. You woke up, you brush your teeth, washed your face, changed into your day clothes and get ready to leave your house. Only this time, your house door looked very heavily locked and secured from the outside world. You looked around your house to ensure that there is no break in. Your barricaded windows are intact and no signs of breaking. You peeped outside. No one or anything is out there. You unlock your door and slowly crept outside. It was windy and still no signs of human. You looked around again. It was like a deserted place. Your opposite neighbor who used to come out to clean his car was not there anymore. The car was left there. There were no kids running around or playing. No voice but just the howling of the wind. This had happened. Everyone just disappeared one day.

You walked to the nearest convenience store to get your usual supply. Along the way, you hear the clanking of old tin cans, or the sound of swing blown by the wind. You ignored it. You continued to walk to the store. You had your IPOD, but those songs had been many years ago. No new songs or albums had been produced ever since the disappearance. Radio and televisions no longer broadcasting and the whole world had just stopped or stalled. You looked anxiously around for signs of living. Cats and dogs used to stray the street too but now no longer. You wonder where they had gone. You passed by a few clothing shops. You had took a few pieces of branded jeans and t-shirts from the last shop at the other corner of your house. Neither cashier to ask you for payment nor you have to go to the nearest ATM to take money. You just take whatever you wanted. You have taken a few tin cans of food from the shelve just the other day. Poultry supplies had ran out almost many years ago. Only left are canned food. Today you are planning to take a few bottle of wines and a few more varieties of canned food.

Some old magazines were left at the magazine stands. Those were already old and probably you had read many times. Never mind the magazines you thought and went grabbed a few DVDs from the entertainment shelve and tucked all into your backpack. ‘I think that should be enough for the week’, I said to yourself. You looked around. Sometimes the places looked creepy and eerie. Creepy because there was everyone had disappeared one day. Eerie because you felt there were still people watching behind you. There were times you wanted to cry and shouted madly at night sat on top of your house. It just stayed quiet and after a while you went down, locked all doors and went to sleep. It was too quiet.

Grasses in the lawn outside are always the same. It won’t grow. It just remained the same. Lake waters were still and even though how hard you threw a stone on it there is no ripple. It just drop down beneath the lake. There is no sound of splashing. It just dropped. You tried to feel the lake once but it was just dead cold. You looked away and see the sky. It was getting darker now. You walked home. Its strange at every evening, the street lamps will always lit up. Without fail, it will lit up on its own as though the electrical company is still working. You once went there to check out if there are still people. Unfortunately, it was empty. The street lamps were run automatically by machines. At least, these machines are some that is still working.

For more of my twisted thoughts click here : - Part 4 - Part 3 - Part 2 -

Is sky the limit… you are alone in this world.