Me being a lecturer...

I always think of after retirement I will be a lecturer. This morning i had an early dream while driving to work. Yeah I know dreaming and driving is dangerous. But i just couldn't help it. After all, it was still morning.

Being a lecturer, I think I will be a very bad and evil teacher. I can imagine students hating me and calling me names behind my back. But as all my employers and supervisors always said,

"It’s good for you and you should appreciate the opportunity given to you".

So for that I will give my students the same treatment but with added flavor, "Its good for you and you should appreciate the opportunity given to you, don't blame me but blame the industry".

Let’s try to simulate some of my dreams.

Scene 1: Walking into a new class on the first day
Me: Ok, I know we are new and this is your first day in this class. Please study chapter 1 to chapter 5. We will have quiz next week. Our lecturer and student relationship will be more exciting after this week… or forget about it.
Students: Jeeze!... who the hell is he? * some refuses to believe this will be their lecturer *

Scene 2: While my back facing the students and looking at my presentation slides.
Me: If you don't understand this, don't blame me, blame the industry who designs this. Understood? Any question? No? Then go home read it up. It’s easy to understand, right?
students: * whispering whispering * as though he is damn pandai...

Scene 3: While introducing myself to the class.
Me: My name is William and there will be assignments after every three weeks. All this will add up to your final semester 10%. Quiz 30%. 3 big exam papers equivalent 60%. I don't care if you got other assignments not related to my class or you are working part time at night. If you fail then you did not manage your time well for my class. So decide now.
Students: This lecturer real KNNMCB &^^*%$$^%$%@#$#$%...

Scene 4: One day before Chinese New Year Holiday/Hari Raya/Deepavali/Wesak Day/Christmas/Labour Day/Teacher's Day/Agung's Birthday/PM's Birthday/Sultan's Birthday/Father's birthday/Mothers' birthday/Grandfather's Birthday/etc
Me: Here is your research questions. I want that on my box when you come back. No extension. Delay will be shot!
Students among themselves: Awwwww... f**K!

Scene 5: One week before the exam
Me: Ok chapter 1 to chapter 8 will be coming out. But please study this book also... the industry has upgraded their spec. Chapter 1 to chapter 3. Don't blame me. Blame the industry.
students: Kanasai!

Scene 6: One student came to my room.
Student: Sir, I have a problem completing my project.
Me: Which project? Be specific.
Student: The assignment 3 blah blah blah.
Me: * busy with his blog *
Me: what did you say? say that again?
student: * in his heart - *&^*&^%&%##@$ * sorry sir, its blah blah blah...
Me: oh that one... simple only mar... what problem?
student: * in his heart - &%$*&##%&&$$^ * its blah blah blah...
Me: ok, take this book and read. Chapter 3 to chapter 4. The answers are all there. Go read and apply it. If cannot then... aiya you go do first... cannot then we only decide hor? Learn lar like your friend XXXX who has finish that already. See! His project here on my table already. Go now. Just to remind you, your due date is one day tomorrow. No extension understand?
student: * in his heart - kanineh kanasai MCBHKCDLLM * thank you sir. * silently tiu! *

Scene 7: Final days before the semester is over.
Me: Everything I taught in the class and the things you learnt and did through pain and blood... I hope you understand that it is for your own good and you should not blame me. Its the industry. The industry changes faster than you changed your girlfriends or boyfriends... Moreover, you are all still young and have a bright future. Please fill this survey form for me. Thank you.
Students: Tiu!

is sky the limit... teaching will be syok.