Cinema Services I wish to exist!

I wish I have this kind of services in the Malaysian cinemas not just the Gold Class:

Ticket operator: Hi, what movie would you like to watch?
Me: 9:30pm, -movie title-.

TO: Ok, how many person?
Me: Two.

TO: Here are the available seats, please select.
Me: K10 and K11, middle just nice.

Me: By the way can I have the reserve seats?
TO: There are only open to half an hour before movie start if no tickets collected.

Me: I don’t care, reservation are for lazy people. I am a genuine customer here and have preferred your cinemas over others. I queued for 20 minutes to get two tickets and which that 20 minutes I can used it to shop or walk around and spend my time efficiently. Doing so, your cinema secured my money of RM20 profit and not risk losing another RM20 because that jerk decided not to come.
TO: ok, a justifiable reason and here are the reserve seats. Please select.

Me: Row F10 and F11, please.

TO: Ok, are you genuine or sleeper?
Me: Genuine.

TO: Critic or non critic?
Me: Non critic… I will keep quiet. What about screaming kids and crying babies?

TO: We have another section for parental cinemas, Sir. I assured you that you will be place in a section meant for single and dating couples.

TO: Any other service that you want to request?
Me: Yes, please do not put me next to someone who stinks.

TO: what do you mean stinks?
Me: I will define it as mouth odor, body odor and feet odor in that sequence.

TO: Anymore request?
Me: Two plates of wan tan mee and two hot Gwai Lo tea at the beginning of the advertisement.

TO: Thank you, we will register it into our customer care database management system
Me: Welcome. Nice customer care service you have.

TO: Thank you. That will be RM20, 9:30pm, -movie title- and two persons. RM8.00 for two plates of wan tan mee and two hot Uncle Lipton tea. Total is RM28.00.

Me: * pay *

TO: Here are your tickets and meal order. Enjoy the movie.

Me: Thank you.



Is sky the limit… oh yeah!

Runaway Vacation or bored Scary Movie 4

I find the comedy in Scary Movie 4 is not funny and quite bored too. Let us just go straight to Runaway Vacation with Robin Williams at the helm of the storyline. This movie is worth your ticket if you are unable to get Tokyo Drift. Robin Williams played a splendid dad trying to save his career at the same time trying to get in touch more with his family. Its nice and hilarious.

Though he promises them a nice warmth holiday in Hawaii but later due to a disastrous meeting at his boss reception had placed himself in a difficult position. In order to redeem himself as well as saving his job he has to cancel his Hawaii trip and go to Colorado. Though unwilling but after a discussion with his close friends, a Runaway Vacation (RV) was suggested and his family reluctantly accept it. The fun begins from there.

Girls, please bring along parents, kids, nephews and nieces but not your talkative and mouth stinking boyfriend. One guy sat next to me, talked and talked non stop from the beginning of the advertisement till the end. I pity his girlfriend. His mouth stinks and is disturbing me.

RV : * playing *
The guy: eh… dun mor my stomach after I get fat

RV: * playing *
The guy: ayo… I getting sleepy * then sigh – his mouth stinks *

RV: * playing *
The guy: ayo… I also dunno what I am going to do tomorrow… no car leh…

RV: * playing *
The guy: yak yak yak…

* Me beh tahan liao *

Me: Excuse me, if you are not going to stop speaking and sighing, I will need to ask you to exchange your seat with your girlfriend. Your girlfriend is beautiful, she is sexy, she is quiet and she doesn’t disturb me and this movie. Your cap sucks and your pants are ugly and is going to drop any moment. When your girlfriend sit next to me I will not hesitate to grab her hand and tell her to enjoy a nice quiet movie with me. Do you understand my feelings?

Ok ok… I made up the last part…



Is sky the limit… Runaway Vacation is good!

Last Papa Day discussion

Note: I could not remember much of the true conversation but it goes something like below.

Papa Day was here last week and some of you would be busy trying to think of something for your Papa. Here is one instance of our last discussion on getting a gift for Padme’s Papa.

Padme: William, what should I get for my Papa for this Papa’s Day? Any idea?
Me: Let me see… what about watches?

Padme: No… no… Indians are pantang sending gifts as watches or clocks to people. No… no…
Me: No lar, I think clocks only is pantang lar…

Padme: No… no… really, Indians are pantang about it!
Me: But watches are not clocks. In Chinese, clocks are definitely a no no as a gift!

Padme: I see… but Indians pantang both lar.
Me: I see… any meaning to the watch ar? For Chinese, clock sounds like “giving one a funeral”… sung chung… sung means give and chung is clock…. So sung chung… sung chung… choi!

Padme, Michelle, Kerry: Hahahahahaha…
Me: What about Indians?

Padme: Don’t know… but I know its pantang…
Me: ok…

Me: What about handkerchief? At least you can tell your papa, “OK Papa, you don’t have to use your sleeve, your hand or tissue anymore. Use this from now onwards!”
Kerry and Michelle: Hahahahahaha….
Padme: Hahahahahaha… He doesn’t use handkerchief lar…

Me: Ok, what about pen? Nice to write and maybe can sign check for you…
Padme: Hahahahahaha… Pen? Hmmm… But he is retiring next year… I guess he will use less of it.

Me: Ok, what about tie? Get one of those nice silk and grey color tie. Its just RM30 and you get it from Jusco.
Padme: Hmmm…
Me: Ok, what about taking him out for a nice dinner? I did that earlier of the month.
Padme: Dinner… Hahahahahaha… he can’t eat certain food due to high cholesterol lar…

Me: Hahahahahaha.. you tell your Papa… once in a lifetime, Papa, I am going to take you to have Fish Head Curry, Freshwater Crabs Fried with Sultanah Eggs, some stir fried stuffs from one nice Chinese Restaurant. Don’t worry about cholesterol. Eat first, fear later… Muahahahahahaha….
Michelle, Hasni, Kerry, and Padme: hahahahahahahahahahaha…

Me: Ok lar.. what is your budget and what does your Papa like?
Padme: Actually, he wants a DVD player…

Me: Ok then.. go get him a DVD player…
Padme: Let me think first…

Me: Otherwise, you can always get a book titled Angels and Demons by Dan Brown. If he doesn’t want it you can always give it to me. I welcome it very much!
Michelle: Padme, I think he is implying something else already… Hahahahahaha…
Padme, Kerry and Hasni: Hahahahahahahahahahaha….

Alright, if you think that dinner is too small for a gift. Buy your dad something, treat him for dinner then a movie. I think some simple event like this will surely make your old man happy. Though there are 365 days to make your old man happy, angry and sad but at the end of the day, its all about being happy and feeling cherished by his sons and daughters..



Is sky the limit… you can buy your dad a flight ticket and send him on a tour!

She is back!

Several weeks ago when my wife got back from her vacation.

Wife: Ooi! I’ve just gone for two weeks and now you are driving like this?! You want me to repeat those words again is it?Me: hehehehehe… sorry… sorry…

*
slows down from 110kmph to 90kmph,
obey traffic lights,
give signal before turning,
slows down at zebra crossing,
slows down at STOP sign before turning
slows down before parking
reduce overtaking slow driving cars
behaving nicely and smiled to every passing vehicle
*

Wife: Ok, now its much safer… hehehehehe…

* Suddenly, one stupid Kancil overtake me by force *

Me: NYAH SING! *(&(&*&$^&%$%$#%#^&^^&%#$#@!#$^%$#

* Showing the driver both of my middle fingers *


Wife: o_O”””… * she looked at my both hands then the steering wheel *



Is sky the limit… yup, she is back… my temper will be reduced and more controlled.

The Man of Steel is back!

The man of steel is back!

Late Christopher Reeves should be very happy in his grave that his Superman’s movie has so much improve by modern computer graphic effects. Lets hope this movie is as good as the initial Superman.

* fingers crossed *


Is sky the limit… Superman is back!

When should a guy back off from pursuing further into a non-workable relationship?

Note: Long entry.

This is a very rhetorical question. Some might be headstrong and still pursue in hope one day his lady of choice will pick him. Some might be a bit skeptical and go away. Some might stayed on a bit longer by trying to understand her more so his lady of choice will pick him. Some might just change their direction and focus another partner as in going away. However, men should understand the very nature of the woman’s mind plus perception and her architecture. Yet, I myself is still in the midst of bewilderment when it comes to the very issue of handling a woman.

In retrospect, we are not in the position to critic what or how they should be but with proper, suggestive and respectable approach will surely bring many lights to men who want to know more of a woman. In this entry, we shall not delve into handling of women because it requires art and having the heart of a treasure chest filled with honesty that is to be open by the women themselves. If only they really see that in you then you are blessed. With respect, women is not an object for self satisfaction but something very complex that requires a man true knowledge on himself what he should be looking for in a woman. You cannot just simply look for one when everyone has one. I can hardly fathom when my friends told me that all of their close friends are coupled up and they should be looking for one too. I was in that position last time but it had taken a toll on myself. Yet another story to tell. Back to reasoning why having a partner, solution is that I need to move on with something more serious and of course, practicality. I need love, that is a fact; and everyone needs love, no doubt. In that I took care of it with my own capability and time; not just because everyone has one or seems to have one. Period. My dear friend, time has it own uniqueness of telling its history and creating a future without you knowing it that the very next step it will be an unexplainable explanation.

Moving on to the very question of pursuing a lady who had given you so much hints that you should be moving away. I have seen guys who felt dejected and rejected at the tips from his lady. Being said so, human particularly man, sometimes takes time to understand words from a lady’s mouth. No being said it’s a word of encouragement a man hears. Yes being said it’s a word of doubt for many men. There are many acts and communications to be attested by both of them. Though mostly it falls onto men when women cried men wouldn’t listen. As part of men’s default nature, they are to be aggressive and would not take NO word for YES. In the cause of adrenaline and the very small processing thought very often men will feel depress until the verge of crying. Some may just feel depress only. In the word insanity, men will use extreme ways to fight words of deject and rejects. Yes, I am being straightforward in mentioning insanity to men who are fighting against themselves to win a lady’s heart when she is not interested in him in the first place. Respect and self awareness should be the very good action to respond to a lady’s NO.

Ladies are often left with no choice to tell men harshly that they are not entirely interested in them in the first place. First warning is always tender. The second will be to distance herself from him if he ignored the first. The third warning will always resulting in the end of a terrible war that will mark the end of the male pursuer. Not to say that there is no turn around, sometimes magic works like in the case of a lady changed of heart to fell for the man who she rejected in the first place. Yes, there are possibilities. However, I can only say, he, that man has a true heart. Unfortunately, a lady who gives multitude of hints to reject a man is something hardly the man will be able to be her partner in the future. Just because she is not for him. That is the respect the man should give. Men should neither threaten nor force and that is very despicable act to do. Primitive era has long gone with the clubs and dragging women to their caves. With modernization and globalization, women are not leaving themselves out and is competing with men for positions and wealth. Today, men no longer faced men in workplace but including women too.

This entry only covers one small part of the iceberg to modern world relationship.



Is sky the limit… it is ok that women said no and men should be obliged to respect it

Days of Mood

Saturday is the Longest day, Sunday is the Shortest day,
Monday is the Heaviest day, Tuesday is the Slightly Better day,
Wednesday is the Dull day, Thursday is the Ever Good day
Friday is the Best day of the Days.


Is sky the limit… which is your day?

Counting Money and Unfortunate at-choo!

I had another viewing of Davinci Code for the second time. The film was still full surprisingly after 3 weeks on the cinema. Davinci Code, I must say, until now ticketing booth are selling them like hotcakes. Then on that day, my brother make something out that I always joke. I think you have read that before somewhere in blog/

In one long queue, about to reach the booth:

Me: Eh, give me your money, its RM10.
My brother: Ok, * started counting *

My brother: RM1, RM2, RM3, RM4, RM5, RM6…
Me: * Looked at him in disbelief *

Me: ok ok… I pay for you… no worries… later return... * yes, i am kiamsap! *
My brother: hehehehehe… sorry ar…

Me: dun worry… dun worry… I pay… I pay…

Then tomorrow in the first cinema after Davinci started for half an hour, it got very cold and unfortunately I was in my favorite bermuda shorts and t-shirt. Neither both of us brought any sweater nor jacket. Then all of a sudden, I got the need to sneeze so I cup my mouth.

Me: Ah ah.. Ati-Chooooooooooooooo…. * I sneeze! *

Oh poor Leonardo! My hand was filled with my mucus!

Try to imagine what you will do in my position if both of you (brother or friends) have neither tissue nor handkerchief. Plus next to you is a beautiful girl and hope she did not notice your act in disposing your mucus. Lets guess.

Remember, your hand is filled with mucus!



Is sky the limit… God Bless You!

World of Tulan – Part 2

Nevermind, its just business and you carried on with your other mundane office task. Lunchtime came and you were served with the usual. Everybody at the table also felt tulan because boss had issued a lame report that their sales are not doing well and restructuring may be a possibility. Tulan. You just continued on and you hope no problems from 2pm till 5:30pm. Wrong. A customer called up to complain that the product he bought yesterday is not working as expected as it was in the sales briefing. He got so tulan and cursed everyone from the company top level to the bottom level. Your boss held you responsible and you need to call up to the customer and try to leverage it. The customer shoot you maximum and you can’t just take it, you screamed and banged the phone. Everyone got up to look and even your boss. “I AM TULAN! WHAT THE F*&K!”, you cried. Everybody came over and try to console you. Your boss just looked at you and walked back to his cubicle. “Hmm… nowadays young people just do not have the patience… in my time”, your boss sighed and his olden days movie start to reel in his pathetic mind.

End of day, you felt so relieved, you happily packed home and felt the tulan feeling had subsided. Unfortunately, you just cannot believe your eyes. Your good Vios has been clamped. You parked at the wrong box. Tulan feeling again. You searched for the nearest security office and pay the fine. At that point, the security being a Myammar understand English little and is having some problem trying to catch what you were saying. You tried switching Malay and English languages with him. Finally, you gave up and drag him to your car. You pointed at that and said, “KNNMCHTNS, you clamped my car!” You indicated money and unclamped. Only he now understood, “lei chou kong lar!”. He can speaks Cantonese! So tulan you wish you just whip up a rifle and blast him off to where he came from.

Of course, you are now on your way home already. Traffic was so bad and you are now unable to move your car. Hunger pang strikes, you search your car’s glove box for some tidbits or biscuits. Yes, you do find it but it tasted so weird and soggy. It has expired. Now that bite of the big biscuit is in your mouth. Tissue box is empty and you can’t just PTUI in your car. Or even outside the car. Because you have to maintain your lady likeness. Who knows next to your car is a handsome man who is watching you doing such a unattractive way. You looked around. Ok, you are clear to do that. Once finish a called came. You were spotted by your colleague, the person you hated most in the office, and he teased you for such a disgusting person. You feel like hanging up his phone. Before doing so, maybe you will scream some profanities. You just laughed and say good bye and wish this lane would move. So embarrassed and tulan at the same time.

You reach your home and a pack of cold economy rice. While the economy rice is getting heated up in the microwave, you went into the bathroom for a dip. You slip in, smelled of lavender and its is nice and relaxing. After some time, you realize your microwave is still heating up. After some thoughts, you decided to go check out your food. Oh my god, you cried. The microwave is a broken and it won’t stop heating your poor food. Its now burnt economy rice. You cursed your day, your life for the moment, your dateless life, your pay, your loan, your scoundrel girlfriends, your boss, your company, your wan tan mee, your car, your economy food and the last, the traffic. Now you ended up with Meh G noodle. You just felt so taxed and felled asleep in the living room couch… POOOF!

It is just a dream. You finally wake up from that terrible tulan dream. You sweated and felt relieved. That is not going to happen. As you go to your toilet, you realized your toothpaste is finish and unknowingly you knocked down your favorite facial cleanser…

* Twiligh Zone music playing *

Disclaimer: This is just another story cocked up by me. It is not related to anyone or event in this particular entry. Even if it does, it is just purely coincidence and fictional.

Is sky the limit… * Twilight zone music playing *

World in Tulan – Part 1

What will you do, say if you happen to be in one of the most lousiest day, that is everyone you meet or yourself is tulan about something? Never right? Shall we create one scenario? Lets get started.

One morning, you woke up, your toothpaste has finish and you knock down your favorite facial cleanser accidentally into the toilet bowl. You felt so tulan at it. Then, as you get dressed up for work your favorite panty hose tore or your favorite pants’ zip found broken. You felt tulan again.

Fine, on your way driving to work you decided to stop at one good wan tan mee stall to take away your favorite dry wan tan mee. You walked up and fail to balance your step while crossing the small drain. You nearly fell into it. Unfortunately your high heels is broken. Now you have to limp to the stall. You tulan again. At that stall, the seller is also tulan because his daughter or son did not want to help him at the stall. He is so tulan that he cooked your wan tan mee tulan-ly and his wife also pack and look tulan-ly at you. Everyone is so tulan in the morning.

Then reaching the office, you had forgotten your ID pass and now you have to wait for another half an hour so that when the first person arrives you can go in together. Not so tulan but you can sleep in the car for the moment. Unfortunately, the parking in the basement is so hot and stuffy. You need to go up to the lobby area in hoping that the cafeteria is open. Luckily it is open but they won’t let you in because no outside food allowed. You told him you will be ordering extras. Still the Indian macha shook his head and spoke the heaviest British accent you ever heard in your life, “No, I am sorry”. You and your wan tan mee have to go. Tulan again, you just go find one place to sit, eat and wait. After half an hour, you noticed there is some small stain of wan tan mee gravy on your best blouse. You wanted scream and punch people but you need to maintain your coolness as more people are coming into the lobby to work. Immediately, you go to the nearest toilet. All bear the sign, “ROSAK”. So tulan, you just ignored it and went up.

Finally, the receptionist is there to open your door for you. You reach your cubicle to found out a virus has infected your pc reported by the technician. The virus will cause your pc to run very slow. Again, you have to wait for your emails to pop out, you reply late, you send late, you get the latest info later than everybody. Even work is slow. All due to the virus. Tulan! At least, you can claimed, “It’s the virus, you know what it will do lar.” You sighed and accept the fact that the technician working their best to looking for an antidote or tool to clean your pc. Meeting came and go without one of your ideas being accepted plus subjected to words of challenge from your peers. Tulan. You tried to shout, “what the hell do you know?! You just sit there, eat and get fat like a pig! My ideas, you asked, you reject, then you take it for your own credit! Tulan! Tulan!” However, that is so unprofessional. Tulan again.



Is sky the limit… to be continue…

Doctor very tired… long day…

Last two days, I went to the almost everybody-looked-tulan clinic:

Nurse: * tulan a bit * yeah…
Me: I want to see the MBBS sinseh… * eh ah moi smile a bit lar cam ada orang mati *

Nurse: * still tulan * ok, … * looked at me *
Me: Panel, 717, William Tulan… from *&^^&%^#%$#@$%

Nurse: * go search * ok, have a sit…

* then in the consultation room *

Doctor: * he looked a bit tired and spiritless, must be very hard at work after long hours seeing and talking to patients… * Hi…

* he nod his head a bit to indicate what is my illness *

* hmmm… I wonder if I could recommend him to read DrLiew.net to relax or maybe start blogging like our good Dr Liew *

Me: Sorethroat and some cough… started two days ago…

Doctor: Ok, I give you anti-inflammatory, some cough tablets… should be ok… * start scribbling prescription *
Me: Ok.. thanks doc…

* while waiting outside *

Nurse: * still looked tulan * Mr William… yak yak yak… blah blah…
Me: Ok… thanks…

I wonder if its because my visitation is paid by my company so they all looked tulan? No lar, I don’t think so. I think they all look tulan because of a long and hard day in the clinic today… pity pity… and I happen just to walk in at the wrong time…



Is sky the limit… doctors hard at work… clinic nurse too…

Pisang... Pisang... Man-darin...

When I was in my early years as a freshman, I got to know so many clubs which I did not even join all of it. I’ve never thought being so active in those clubs. Except the Computer Club recommended by COM. Anyway, you’ve got the varieties and activities offered throughout your year so you won’t get bored just shagging your assignments and attending lectures. Also that year, seniors will be out in the field to grab new members. They will approach and talk to you. Moreover, there will be orientation nights to welcome new members into their orgy clubs. Being a second time entering another university after returning from Sydney, I still consider these event such an eye opener. Still, local students here are not as vocal as students from where I first started my tertiary education. Those were different and I liked it. One particular moment in my new uni and that I never forget.

One Chinese student (OCS) came over to talk to me:

OCS: Hi, ni hau, wo zhi XXXX… * extending his hand *
Me: Err… I am sorry… I don’t know how to speak mandarin… not much… but its nice to meet you!

OCS: Oh, you are a Chinese but you should know how to speak mandarin…
Me: No, I come from Kebangsaan Sekolah and I did not take the extra curricular to learn Mandarin.

OCS: Oh, you should start… maybe you can join our club and we can help you on that…
Me: Err.. no thanks… I am in a hurry… sorry… * I rush away *

OCS: Ok thanks and bye…

In another incident with my old room mate (gosh, I stayed with him for the next four years):

Fam: As a Chinese we all should know our roots, learn our culture, learn our mandarin. Mandarin will be the language being use widely in the world. Apart from that, we must understand our origin so yak yak yak… blah blah blah… yak yak yak…

Me: o_O””” ok ok… * just walk away *

Fam is a good friend now working in Kuala Lumpur and I hardly meet him after our graduation. He went his way to Penang to work while I remain in KL after my graduation all this years. Fam is a hardworking person and a very determined guy. However, he is very straightforward.

Then in one occasion in another incident, I found out that I was a banana.

Liew: Eh, you don’t speak mandarin.. you are a banana!
Me: Huh, why do you say that I am banana?

Liew: Outside yellow like Chinese but inside white like gwai lo speaking English lar…
Me: Huh… ini macam pun boleh ar? Hahahahahaha…

Liew: Hahahahahaha… you should learn a bit of mandarin so at least you can date some Chinese girls here mar… UNITEN girls here most of them speaks mandarin…
Me: Ok lar.. maybe If I wanted to know a girl in the lecture hall I shall start, “Hi my name is Wil, William. Me don’t know Mandarinnnn. Me know English and I am a banana from Australia. An Australian banana… imported and rich in potassium! What is your name? Maybe we can get fruity after this lecture… I’ve got one big banana plus two water chestnuts!”

Liew: o_O””” ok ok… hehehehe… * speechless *

Liew is a good friend working in INTEL, going to get married soon. He is very down to earth person but not as straightforward as Fam. He likes to maintain good relationship with everyone he knows. I learnt how to format PC from him…

Then in another occasion I have never seen a Bengali Indian Tiger claiming himself Chinese.

COM: I have Chinese god mother…
Me: hehehehe.. ok ok enough.. go back to your room… don’t come disturb me until dinner…

For COM this I only have to say, “You just can’t get enough out of him but if he is too much you get drunk!” Nowadays, he is busy with his own projects and helping out his brother.

All my four years in Uni, you can say that I am the ghost in the campus that not much people know my existence. Hardly active in their outings and clubbing. The place I haunted most will be the computer laboratory.



Is sky the limit… Pisang, Pisang, Pisang…

I don't know...

Do you know it is frustrated when people who ask you question and in return they told you that they do not know about your given answer. Here are some situations…

Situation 1: An uncle and his section 17.
Uncle: Excuse me, from here in Sri Damansara to section 17 how long does it take 15 minutes?
Me: Hmmm… if no traffic jam… yes. Where do you want to go?

Uncle: UTAR
Me: I see, you have to go out to the main road from here.

Uncle: I don’t know…
Me: * I don’t know how to react from his expression * Ok lar… bye!

Situation 2: Friend 1 asking for solution
Friend 1: Eh, Wil, how do you do this system?
Me: Ok, its like this, you do this, do this, connect this, do this then do that… ok?

Friend 1: I don’t know…
Me: * sigh *

Situation 3: Friend 2 asking where to this report
Friend 2: Eh, Wil, where do you get this report?
Me: The administration office.

Friend 2: Really?
Me: I just told you right? You ok ar?

Friend 2: I don’t know…
Me: * sigh – I feel like using a gun and shoot him *

I felt that the sentence “I don’t know” is misused in the above situation. Let me teach you how to use it:

Situation 1: Some one asking for direction
Ah Pek: Ekscuezz me ar brather… you know to go to Amcorp Mall ar?
Me: Sorry, I don’t know.

Situation 2: A friend asking for help
Friend 1: Hey Wil, do you know how to fix this problem?
Me: Sorry, I don’t know.

Situation 3: A friend asking if you know such and such
Friend 2: Hey Wil, do you know this material, I was wondering if you know where to get it? I saw you using it… I thought if you are holding it… then you should be able to tell me…
Me: Sorry, I don’t know… I don’t like you in the first place… don’t come near me!

Please use I don’t know when you are not sure, you really do not know about a question and you don’t want to divulge your information. Not to be used after when people give you an answer!

To answer a question with an answer given by a responder you can always use the following respond:

1. Sorry, can you repeat that… you are too fast in your answer
2. I couldn’t get what you were saying…
3. I don’t understand what you are saying…
4. Actually, your answer is different and I thought it should be…
5. Ok I understand the first part but regarding that place, how did you get there…
6. I am sorry my hearing got problem…can repeat it again but louder…
7. I am sorry I am deaf!

Is sky the limit… No, it is not. Spacemen is out there shagging!

My Elder Cousin Sister - Part 2 (Drinking)

Another conversation with elder cousin sister on drinking:

CS: Eh, I see that you hardly drink at all…
Me: I hardly drink any of those beers in clubs since last two years…

CS: What happen?
Me: That one night in Thai club, the moment I entered, I felt dizzy and those liquor I drink cause me many days of headache, plus ringing in my ears! I could breathed and those alcohol really busted me out after that. That is why I stop drinking. Now I only drink to occasion. That even is just red wine.

CS: Eh, you ni betui ka? Drink pun dah kurang and you pun tak smoke. You man ar?
Me: I am man! I still like making love with woman and grunt like a bear!

CS: o_O””” what lar…
Me: ya mar… you asked me whether I am a man mar… what does drinking and smoking got to do with me being a man?!

CS: No mar, man loves drinking and smoking… but you don’t do that!
Me: Aiya, age have catch up with me lar. How long do you want to continue to that, drinking and smoking? Until 40? Until 50? Until 60? Smoking is a no-no… but drinking you have to watch out. Your body can only take so much at certain age. Its better you are getting older to monitor your drinking habits. Be moderate or just drink to occasion… Not everybody like you lar…drink until mabuk everytime…

CS: Oooi! Shh… shh… shh…
Me: You drink Henessy and beer like water… like that… you don’t die faster but will get fatter!

CS: Oooi! Yeah yeah… I know I know…
Me: Don’t drink so much… be moderate lar… see, now you got a boyfriend, a stable job, a good earning and a good family… you want your drinking habit to kill you and let every of the thing I mention to be disappointed iszit?

CS: No lar… don’t lar…
Me: hahahahaha… at your age and you are a woman… you should watch your drinking habit… age can catch up with you pretty fast…

CS: You talked like an old man…
Me: Hai… what to do!... If you don’t watch out your health… who? Your parents ar? Even the food we take now are so oily and filled with cholesterol. Look at this Big Mac I am taking… you think no fat and cholesterol ar?

* Munch munch my Big Mac – oooh… so tasty and so good! God Damn Big Macs! *

CS: Hahahahhahahahaha… looks like everything we have are poisons...
Me: Yup… ooi.. these two nights you have been asking me this questions? You ok ar? You are a nurse… in fact a specialist nurse on kidney… why are you asking me all these questions? Lets talk about your marriage!

CS: Hehehehehehe… that one nothing to talk about lar, he is in the middle saving for a business… so talk other things lar… you ar…
Me: You ar… nothing better to do issit… go eat your Mcd Porridge lar…



Is sky the limit… drink moderately… don’t drink hard liquor as if there is no tomorrow…

My Elder Cousin Sister - Part 1 (Smoking)

Some conversation on smoking with my elder cousin sister about smoking:

CS: Eh you don’t smoke ar? Many guys smoke.
Me: No I don’t. Why do you ask?

CS: It seem strange that you don’t smoke when every guy I met smokes a lot.
Me: Well, I just don’t smoke.

CS: You go out with friends, they smoke ar?
Me: Yes, some of them…

* Generally, I don’t like people smoking in front of me. I don’t care if my boss smokes and I have to smoke to get a promotion or project. You can very well give it other person if you want me to smoke *

CS: They don’t offer it to you?
Me: No they don’t. They know I am not a smoker.

CS: Hmmm… you have any reason on your part why you are not influenced to smoke too?
Me: I don’t get the feel of wanting to smoke when I see my friends puffing but with history of bad coughs since very young. Smoking… I will think twice of it.

CS: I see…
Me: If I smoke I think I am long gone and my cough would have killed me a long time. I still remember my time in uni when all my friends, ALL, smoke non-stop. I very much hate it but I just bear with it. But they won’t smoke in my room because I told them so.

CS: I see…
Me: But there will be some who wouldn’t listen to me. There was once, a friend came to my apartment and he wants to smoke. So I politely asking him to go out and smoke; not in here. He insisted he will just smoke by the window and don’t want to go out. I was very disappointed. If you think of it, it is my apartment and I don’t like people smoking in here/ As long as your feet is in here, you better don’t smoke. Within my private sanctuary, you have to follow my rules.

CS: So what happen to the friend?
Me: He grumbly walked out and went down.

CS: Wah!
Me: But that wasn’t the end of it. At that same time, I’ve got another friend who was using the toilet. This friend is a real hardcore smoker. I’ve known him since my uni years. He loves to smoke and he smoked in my toilet. I felt so pissed off! You know, I have specifically told them not to smoke. I was so disappointed with them. One wanted to smoke in my living room and another just did it in my toilet. I seriously hate it. That toilet was filled smoke stench. I had to deodorized it and I can’t used it for three days.

CS: Wah!
Me; My lungs are not that good, you have to understand, because if my cough comes back it will be months before it stops. Therefore, I really much hate it. But there are my good friends and they should respect my home and not smoked in there.

CS: Yes, its true. No respect…
Me: If my sons and daughters smoked in the house, I will give them two tight slaps.
Me: Tell me one good reason why do you want to smoke in the first place?
CS: Friends influence, age of innocence, when everything is new and you want to try it out.

Me: Yes it is true but I don’t think youngster when it comes to smoking they don’t think twice of themselves and other people. Its good to smoke but do it in a way that you don’t harm other peoples’ health. Smoking cause cancer to the smoker themselves and second hand smoke kills too. Tell me, why do you think government and health organizations spend millions on campaign to tell people not to smoke? Because its dangerous. Yet people don’t care and carry on. Nowadays, people just don’t care and more young girls are into smoking. Yes, girls smoking looks cool but to me it is bad. Mind me, whenever I see girls smoke, it is really a turn off. Still, I have friend’s girlfriend smoking. They smoke and smoke… just like a chimney pot. You smoke ar?
CS: Hahahahaha… no lar…

Me: Don’t you dare start smoking in front of me…
CS: Nooo lar… I don’t smoke!

Me: Ok ok… hehehehehe…

My dear readers, smoking kills. Yes, you can go ahead and smoke as many sticks as you like in one day but you must remember when you come to visit me at my apartment please be warned that it is no smoking zone. Smokers who caught smoking in my apartment’s perimeter will be shot! Respect that decision of mine – no smoking in my apartment!

Is sky the limit… I think smoking should be ban!

Bloody... Bloody...

This few weeks of night out I noticed crazy people driving like rushing for their funeral.

There was this incident happen just outside MidValley. I was on crossing the fly over into PJ when this stupid car came very near behind me. It was blaring me with its bright lights. Fine, it is fine that you tail me nearly signal me to the go one side for you to pass.

TO THAT BLOODY FUCKING STUPID MOTHERFUCKER WHO OVERTAKE ME ON A SMALL LANE FLYOVER,

DO YOU BLOODY FUCKING HAVE ANY FUCKING BRAINS? YOU ARE CROSSING A BLOODY FLYOVER WITH JUST ONE BLOODY LANE FOR ONE BLOODY CAR AND IT HAS A VERY BLOODY DEEP CURVE! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO BLOODY PROVE? I WON’T MIND IF YOU BLOODY CRASH INTO THE BLOODY DIVIDER AND FELL ONTO ANOTHER BLOODY HIGHWAY BELOW. YOU CAN BLOODY DIE WHILE OVERTAKING AND FORCING MY CAR TO ONE SIDE ON THIS BLOODY FLYOVER. I DO NOT KNOW WHERE THE BLOODY HELL YOU ARE HEADING TO BUT MY BEST GUESS YOU ARE RUSHING FOR YOUR BLOODY FUNERAL. BEEPING ME IS NO USE BECAUSE YOU ONLY PROVE YOURSELF ONE BLOODY PIECE OF SHIT WHICH IS EVEN WORSE THEN A BLOODY COW DUNG! IF YOU WANT TO OVERTAKE ME, YOU CAN ALWAYS BLOODY HELL WAIT FOR ME TO GET OFF THE FUCKING FLYOVER OR YOU CAN BLOODY FLY OVER MY CAR. THEN YOU CAN BLOODY HELL GO AND DIE IN OTHER BLOODY LANE. SOME BLOODY HELL KUALA LUMPUR DRIVERS REALLY EAT SHIT IN THEIR DRIVING SKILL! WHY DON’T YOU BLOODY GO FUCK YOURSELF AND BLOODY CRASH INTO THE SEA BECAUSE YOU ARE A BLOODY DISGRACE TO THE NATION!

TO ALL OTHER FUCKING ROAD BULLIES ON THE ROAD, YOU ARE A BLOODY MOTHERFUCKER AND YOU BLOODY BETTER GO EAT SHIT!

HAM KAH CHAN, DUI NIA SING! LEI KOON CHI HUI TAU THOI AR? SEI FUN CHEONG!

I do not curse in my blog, but this time some KL drivers really pissed me off!

Is sky the limit… sei fan cheong char tou kum mai! Lei hum mai sik si tai?

Mom spearheading for me...

Being from an all boys school when I was in my primary till secondary, I am always shy in front of the other gender. Girls. Maybe I don’t have much exposure or experience talking to them and importantly being friends with them. So whenever I see a girl at that time, I will keep quiet, blush and then shy. But then girls are so playful, talkative and naughty. For me, being the boy, you must have think that I am the most naughtiest kid in school then you are wrong. I was a quiet boy and who cry all the time. The slightest prank from my friend will make me cry. One day, things took a turn, instead of being shy and always crying. I felt bolder when I went into my secondary. I approach girls whenever they are. Regardless, the waitress, the girl in the bus next to me, my piano concert partner or even sales girls in the mall.

Scene 1: Salesgirl
Me: Hi, looks like sales here are quite quiet.
Beautiful Salesgirl: Yup. What to do? Market is bad.
Me: I see. My name is William. What’s yours?
Beautiful Salesgirl: hehehehe… My name is A. Is that your mother trying out the new clothes?
Me: Yup. I am on school holiday.
Beautiful Salesgirl: I know… kids like you is very rare to follow mom buy clothes.
Me: hehehehe…

Comment: Ok, this is fine as I was like 13 only and very thin with huge spectacles. So you can imagine it how innocent I look. * Don’t laugh! *

Scene 2: Salesgirl Again
Me: Hi
Beautiful Salesgirl: Hi
Me: Can I be your friend?
Beautiful Salesgirl: You crazy?! Go away!

Comment: Ok, this is not fine if you are 20 years old and not as cute as a young kid anymore. So better think twice before someone gets panic and scream for help.

Scene 3: Salesgirl, YES, its salesgirl again
Mom: So, you want to know that salesgirl. Let me take a look at her!

* My mom walks over pretending to look at clothing then walk back *

Mom: Eh, not bad… very beautiful! Wanna give a try?
Me: No lar… just kidding. Nanti kena scolding or make police report!

Mom: Don’t worry, mom will go ask for you!
Me: o_O”””” Eh no need lar.. you gila ar…

Mom: Aiya just go there be friend mar…
Me: You don’t be crazy nanti people misunderstood you that you are trying to matchmake her with your son!

Mom: Am I? Oh yes…
Me: Damn…

Comment: No comment… my mom is open… very open…

Now that when I see a salesgirl or salesman, I just walk away. Why? I don’t want them to bug me into buying things. If my wife read this surely, my dinner’s topic will be on this until bedtime.

Well, those were the days when you are young between 13 and 21 and everything is so new and you want to know more. Young and dangerous. Fast and furious. Sometimes when I think back I felt I am so old. Life has to move on. I met my wife in a clinic and that is another story.

If you are one of those single guys out there would want to know the lady that
you always wanted to know whether its in a club or in any place. This is what
you can do for a start. It is nice and it is polite.

You can say, ”Hi, how are you?”



Is sky the limit… Hi my name is Bond, James Bond…

Maid, You've Got News!

It’s the time to celebrate for maids who are going to work in Malaysia or those who are working here currently. Laws has been passed and maids can retaliate back if their employers mistreat, abuse or take advantage on them.

Scenario 1: Employer trying to keep half of their maids’ pay
Employer: Your salary I keep half first, when you finish you contract I return everything to you.
Maid: Sorry sir, your laws required that you deposit my salary into my bank account. If not I can bring you to your makhamah! Thank you sir, here is my Bank Harimau account number.

Scenario 2: Employer abuse maid
Employer: Take this! You pig! How dare you not do chores! Take this! * slapping her with a hot steel spatula *
Maid: * Coolly avoided her employer’s attack with a single hand * Your makhamah says I can bring you to court for abuse. Thank you madam, here is my lawyer letter. I see you in court!

Scenario 3: Maid negotiating with employer before work start
Employer: So when can you start work?
Maid: I can start next week but I have a few following condition that you will need consider and put it in black and white; contract or agreement. Here is the list of condition. Thank you sir. Please you will have to make your decision today because I have another offer around this neighborhood.



Is sky the limit… if you are a maid, do you feel happy and relief?

What should i do... ? Hmmm...

Now that my wife is in Federal Territory of Labuan. If you do not know where is this place then you should look up in Google. Yes, Google provides all the answer. If you hate Google then go look up in your world map or your secondary text book Geography.

Labuan is a Federal Territory of Malaysia and it is not in West Peninsular of Malaysia but a very small island in the East of Malaysia between Sarawak and Sabah. In the map, you will only see it as a dot. Yes, its just a small island but it is surrounded by oil rigs. She will be there for two weeks and I will have so much of my time to be alone and do what I want in my apartment. Argh!!! I am starting to miss her.

Let me see what I should do while she is away:

1. Gangbang Party… ? Then we invite CEO and COM over to my place. Maybe I can tape both of them and sell it to the pirates of DVD... hehehhehehe....
2. Invite all the girls to my apartment… ? Hmmm… how much money do I have? Nah...
3. Open an all nude party in my apartment… ? Hmmm… what if all guys turn up only… no! no! no! this is out!

Nah, I don’t think so. Most probably I just eat and sleep and continue with my ANIME. I am watching Full Metal Panic (first series) and will try to complete it before she comes back. Otherwise, it will be all Korean and Japanese dramas!



Is sky the limit… what should I do? I miss you, Sayang!

Davinci, X Men III and Ian Mckellen

This two weeks I have watched two good movies. One that raise Jesus issue and another mutant issue. Of these two movies, Jesus as according to the book written by none other than popular Dan Brown to have a descendant. The latter, many main characters will die and leaving the epic of X-men to the rest. However, I was told to sit until the end of the credits to see something special. Unfortunately, I couldn’t wait to that last end of the credit. Therefore I assumed something mystery is about to happen; most probably Professor X are revived or Jean Grey returns from the dead. Still I could not just make this assumption. Most probably I will buy the DVD when it comes out to know what happen. Or, I go and ask some X-Men fans on that particularly scene.

Back to The Davinci Code, it has been rated 18PL because of its story depicting Jesus having descendent and Mary Magdalene is the holy grail that defy the Christian’s faith and belief. Pretty exciting for such a movie to come out from Hollywood despite outcry from churches who are against this movie. Malaysia’s churches has done its best to educate its members before they watch it. As far as it goes in my point of understanding, the Davinci Code movie and the book won’t affect my mind and my thinking of the Christian faith. After all, if this movie were so much giving a lot of negative influence then they should have ban the book in the beginning. Many have read it and the books are selling like hot cakes even before the movie were in the making. That is my view. Period. Ian Mckellen portrays as the Teacher who is the mastermind behind the plot to get the truth out from top members of Priory of Sion on the Holy Grail. He is a fine actor and he has shown both of his talented acting skill in both X-Men movies and the Davinci Code. However, he will still be best remember and regarded as Gandalf in the movie Lord of The Rings trilogy. I surely hope to see more of him from many genres of movies coming soon in the future.

It was really fun watching him swinging his hands to flip away convoy police cars to rescue Mystique.

Apart the movies, I must say the tickets sold are very expensive and I felt that the rates are going higher and higher with each good movies coming into Malaysia. GSC in Midvalley are selling X-Men tickets for RM12 each. Yes, you may argued, “Hey bro, its Midvalley lar… of coz its expensive lar”. Though I don’t have much concrete fact to argue that movie tickets are getting expensive but I still beg to differ that prices should vary on the cinema location. How much will the ticket cost for the new Superman Return? I will definitely compare the prices. I wonder how cinemas in Malaysia determine movie ticket’s prices?

In the lift after the Davinci Code movie:

One Ah Beng: Hey, that movie condemning Jesus ar?
Ah Beng’s Stylish and Dyed Red Hair Girlfriend: I don’t know wor…

* After the Ah Beng couple left the lift *


My wife: I think they should read the book first and understand its just fiction…
Me: Well, there are some people who, “follow the crowd, do what the crowd does”.

So much of Dan Brown’s hype for the past two weeks… I am getting sick of hearing his name everywhere I go! I need to detoxify and prepare for Superman Returns.



Is sky the limit… The grace and fall of Professor X and the X-Men