Saturday, July 08, 2006

Female Drivers Only...

The other day, I was searching for a place to park when I noticed this parking attendant in Cineleisure Damansara ushered me to drive closer.

Wife: Eh, he is signaling you to driver closer lar.

* parking attendant flashing his fluorescent baton *

Me: yeah hor… then let us drive towards him.

Wife: Wah, nice new cinema with parking attendant ushering us… not bad…

* my car moved near the attendant and a car was reversing out *

Me: Wah… so good… he is finding a place for us… let's wait for this car to reverse out.

* the car left *

Me: Ok, let's park!

* suddenly, the parking attendant waved me to stop and pointed to the sign on the pillar *


Me: Cheh! Why ask me to come lar! You kacang ar?!

Wife: eh, what’s the matter? Park lar… he asked you mar…

Me; No lar… look!

* I pointed to the pillar *

Wife: Aaaa Cheeeh!... then why signaled us to come closer… he crazy ar?

Me: Nuts!

* So I drove to another packing space *

Not bad, Cineleisure Damansara has a parking spot near the entrance for the ladies. Ladies will feel safer now when they watch midnight movies.

Is sky the limit… ladies parking only…

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

True Adventures of William & Encik Polis

It happen one year ago and my first fine in Ipoh. It always amused me when I think back. I did not get a ticket in KL but in Ipoh. So this was my first reaction when the police stopped me and fined me for speeding a red traffic light.

Encik Polis: You pandu tak henti dari traffic light sampai sini. Tak nampak saya ka?
Me: Err.. tidak.

Encik Polis: Ok, you tau kenapa saya panggil you berhenti?
Me: Err.. tidak.

Encik Polis: Ok, adakah you tau dah laku kesalahan traffic?
Me: Err.. tidak.

Encik Polis: Ok, biar saya cakap… anda telah melanggar isyarat lampu merah. Faham?
Me: Betul ka?

Encik Polis: Betul lar… you berhenti sebelah saya… then you just terus lalu red traffic light. Semua orang pun tengok saya. I know, you are in a rush. Tapi, semua orang tengok saya so I kena kejar you. Faham tak?
Me: Oh.. ok… sorry ar…

Encik Polis: Eh, you faham ka?
Me: Faham.. hehehehe…

Encik Polis: I terpaksa saman lu, you tau ka?
Me: Faham..

Encik Polis: So apa you nak buat sekarang?
Me: Tak tau…

Encik Polis: Ok lar, I terang proses untuk you.
Me: Ok.

Encik Polis: Sebab you dah langgar isyarat lampu merah so itu big kesalahan. Boleh denda points. Faham?
Me: Ok. Faham.

Encik Polis: Ambik license mari dan IC.
Me: Ok.. nah… * handling him my IC and car license *

Encik Polis: Ini kereta siapa?
Me: Ibu punya…

Encik Polis: So siapa bayar saman ini? You or ibu?
Me: Ibu…

Encik Polis: Eh, you belum kerja ka? RM300 oh… jangan main oh.. nanti ibu betul betul pukul lu…
Me: errr… baru start saja… * wink wink *... kereta ibu saya pakai mau jemput adik balik dari sekolah…

Encik Polis: Ok ok lar… kesian sama lu… nanti balik ibu marah… I tulis you tak pakai seat belt bayar RM70 cukup. You boleh hor?
Me: RM70.. boleh bayar sendiri…

Encik Polis: Ah, lain kali jangan terburu-buru. Nanti kemalangan macam mana. Kereta ini ibu punya. Kalo kereta sendiri takper lar…
Me: ok ok… thank you thank you…

Encik Polis: Ok ini saman, ini your ic dan ini your lessen. Pergi ke balai polis trafik di Ipoh dan bayar saman. Ok? Jangan langgar isyarat lampu lagi.
Me: ok ok.. .thank you thank you…

Wah… I am so kam tung! I terpaksa sedar diri and drive more carefully.

Is sky the limit… advice me some more… its my fault, I know.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Cinema Services I wish to exist!

I wish I have this kind of services in the Malaysian cinemas not just the Gold Class:

Ticket operator: Hi, what movie would you like to watch?
Me: 9:30pm, -movie title-.

TO: Ok, how many person?
Me: Two.

TO: Here are the available seats, please select.
Me: K10 and K11, middle just nice.

Me: By the way can I have the reserve seats?
TO: There are only open to half an hour before movie start if no tickets collected.

Me: I don’t care, reservation are for lazy people. I am a genuine customer here and have preferred your cinemas over others. I queued for 20 minutes to get two tickets and which that 20 minutes I can used it to shop or walk around and spend my time efficiently. Doing so, your cinema secured my money of RM20 profit and not risk losing another RM20 because that jerk decided not to come.
TO: ok, a justifiable reason and here are the reserve seats. Please select.

Me: Row F10 and F11, please.

TO: Ok, are you genuine or sleeper?
Me: Genuine.

TO: Critic or non critic?
Me: Non critic… I will keep quiet. What about screaming kids and crying babies?

TO: We have another section for parental cinemas, Sir. I assured you that you will be place in a section meant for single and dating couples.

TO: Any other service that you want to request?
Me: Yes, please do not put me next to someone who stinks.

TO: what do you mean stinks?
Me: I will define it as mouth odor, body odor and feet odor in that sequence.

TO: Anymore request?
Me: Two plates of wan tan mee and two hot Gwai Lo tea at the beginning of the advertisement.

TO: Thank you, we will register it into our customer care database management system
Me: Welcome. Nice customer care service you have.

TO: Thank you. That will be RM20, 9:30pm, -movie title- and two persons. RM8.00 for two plates of wan tan mee and two hot Uncle Lipton tea. Total is RM28.00.

Me: * pay *

TO: Here are your tickets and meal order. Enjoy the movie.

Me: Thank you.



Is sky the limit… oh yeah!

Runaway Vacation or bored Scary Movie 4

I find the comedy in Scary Movie 4 is not funny and quite bored too. Let us just go straight to Runaway Vacation with Robin Williams at the helm of the storyline. This movie is worth your ticket if you are unable to get Tokyo Drift. Robin Williams played a splendid dad trying to save his career at the same time trying to get in touch more with his family. Its nice and hilarious.

Though he promises them a nice warmth holiday in Hawaii but later due to a disastrous meeting at his boss reception had placed himself in a difficult position. In order to redeem himself as well as saving his job he has to cancel his Hawaii trip and go to Colorado. Though unwilling but after a discussion with his close friends, a Runaway Vacation (RV) was suggested and his family reluctantly accept it. The fun begins from there.

Girls, please bring along parents, kids, nephews and nieces but not your talkative and mouth stinking boyfriend. One guy sat next to me, talked and talked non stop from the beginning of the advertisement till the end. I pity his girlfriend. His mouth stinks and is disturbing me.

RV : * playing *
The guy: eh… dun mor my stomach after I get fat

RV: * playing *
The guy: ayo… I getting sleepy * then sigh – his mouth stinks *

RV: * playing *
The guy: ayo… I also dunno what I am going to do tomorrow… no car leh…

RV: * playing *
The guy: yak yak yak…

* Me beh tahan liao *

Me: Excuse me, if you are not going to stop speaking and sighing, I will need to ask you to exchange your seat with your girlfriend. Your girlfriend is beautiful, she is sexy, she is quiet and she doesn’t disturb me and this movie. Your cap sucks and your pants are ugly and is going to drop any moment. When your girlfriend sit next to me I will not hesitate to grab her hand and tell her to enjoy a nice quiet movie with me. Do you understand my feelings?

Ok ok… I made up the last part…



Is sky the limit… Runaway Vacation is good!

Last Papa Day discussion

Note: I could not remember much of the true conversation but it goes something like below.

Papa Day was here last week and some of you would be busy trying to think of something for your Papa. Here is one instance of our last discussion on getting a gift for Padme’s Papa.

Padme: William, what should I get for my Papa for this Papa’s Day? Any idea?
Me: Let me see… what about watches?

Padme: No… no… Indians are pantang sending gifts as watches or clocks to people. No… no…
Me: No lar, I think clocks only is pantang lar…

Padme: No… no… really, Indians are pantang about it!
Me: But watches are not clocks. In Chinese, clocks are definitely a no no as a gift!

Padme: I see… but Indians pantang both lar.
Me: I see… any meaning to the watch ar? For Chinese, clock sounds like “giving one a funeral”… sung chung… sung means give and chung is clock…. So sung chung… sung chung… choi!

Padme, Michelle, Kerry: Hahahahahaha…
Me: What about Indians?

Padme: Don’t know… but I know its pantang…
Me: ok…

Me: What about handkerchief? At least you can tell your papa, “OK Papa, you don’t have to use your sleeve, your hand or tissue anymore. Use this from now onwards!”
Kerry and Michelle: Hahahahahaha….
Padme: Hahahahahaha… He doesn’t use handkerchief lar…

Me: Ok, what about pen? Nice to write and maybe can sign check for you…
Padme: Hahahahahaha… Pen? Hmmm… But he is retiring next year… I guess he will use less of it.

Me: Ok, what about tie? Get one of those nice silk and grey color tie. Its just RM30 and you get it from Jusco.
Padme: Hmmm…
Me: Ok, what about taking him out for a nice dinner? I did that earlier of the month.
Padme: Dinner… Hahahahahaha… he can’t eat certain food due to high cholesterol lar…

Me: Hahahahahaha.. you tell your Papa… once in a lifetime, Papa, I am going to take you to have Fish Head Curry, Freshwater Crabs Fried with Sultanah Eggs, some stir fried stuffs from one nice Chinese Restaurant. Don’t worry about cholesterol. Eat first, fear later… Muahahahahahaha….
Michelle, Hasni, Kerry, and Padme: hahahahahahahahahahaha…

Me: Ok lar.. what is your budget and what does your Papa like?
Padme: Actually, he wants a DVD player…

Me: Ok then.. go get him a DVD player…
Padme: Let me think first…

Me: Otherwise, you can always get a book titled Angels and Demons by Dan Brown. If he doesn’t want it you can always give it to me. I welcome it very much!
Michelle: Padme, I think he is implying something else already… Hahahahahaha…
Padme, Kerry and Hasni: Hahahahahahahahahahaha….

Alright, if you think that dinner is too small for a gift. Buy your dad something, treat him for dinner then a movie. I think some simple event like this will surely make your old man happy. Though there are 365 days to make your old man happy, angry and sad but at the end of the day, its all about being happy and feeling cherished by his sons and daughters..



Is sky the limit… you can buy your dad a flight ticket and send him on a tour!

She is back!

Several weeks ago when my wife got back from her vacation.

Wife: Ooi! I’ve just gone for two weeks and now you are driving like this?! You want me to repeat those words again is it?Me: hehehehehe… sorry… sorry…

*
slows down from 110kmph to 90kmph,
obey traffic lights,
give signal before turning,
slows down at zebra crossing,
slows down at STOP sign before turning
slows down before parking
reduce overtaking slow driving cars
behaving nicely and smiled to every passing vehicle
*

Wife: Ok, now its much safer… hehehehehe…

* Suddenly, one stupid Kancil overtake me by force *

Me: NYAH SING! *(&(&*&$^&%$%$#%#^&^^&%#$#@!#$^%$#

* Showing the driver both of my middle fingers *


Wife: o_O”””… * she looked at my both hands then the steering wheel *



Is sky the limit… yup, she is back… my temper will be reduced and more controlled.

The Man of Steel is back!

The man of steel is back!


Late Christopher Reeves should be very happy in his grave that his Superman’s movie has so much improve by modern computer graphic effects. Lets hope this movie is as good as the initial Superman.

* fingers crossed *


Is sky the limit… Superman is back!

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

When should a guy back off from pursuing further into a non-workable relationship?

Note: Long entry.

This is a very rhetorical question. Some might be headstrong and still pursue in hope one day his lady of choice will pick him. Some might be a bit skeptical and go away. Some might stayed on a bit longer by trying to understand her more so his lady of choice will pick him. Some might just change their direction and focus another partner as in going away. However, men should understand the very nature of the woman’s mind plus perception and her architecture. Yet, I myself is still in the midst of bewilderment when it comes to the very issue of handling a woman.

In retrospect, we are not in the position to critic what or how they should be but with proper, suggestive and respectable approach will surely bring many lights to men who want to know more of a woman. In this entry, we shall not delve into handling of women because it requires art and having the heart of a treasure chest filled with honesty that is to be open by the women themselves. If only they really see that in you then you are blessed. With respect, women is not an object for self satisfaction but something very complex that requires a man true knowledge on himself what he should be looking for in a woman. You cannot just simply look for one when everyone has one. I can hardly fathom when my friends told me that all of their close friends are coupled up and they should be looking for one too. I was in that position last time but it had taken a toll on myself. Yet another story to tell. Back to reasoning why having a partner, solution is that I need to move on with something more serious and of course, practicality. I need love, that is a fact; and everyone needs love, no doubt. In that I took care of it with my own capability and time; not just because everyone has one or seems to have one. Period. My dear friend, time has it own uniqueness of telling its history and creating a future without you knowing it that the very next step it will be an unexplainable explanation.

Moving on to the very question of pursuing a lady who had given you so much hints that you should be moving away. I have seen guys who felt dejected and rejected at the tips from his lady. Being said so, human particularly man, sometimes takes time to understand words from a lady’s mouth. No being said it’s a word of encouragement a man hears. Yes being said it’s a word of doubt for many men. There are many acts and communications to be attested by both of them. Though mostly it falls onto men when women cried men wouldn’t listen. As part of men’s default nature, they are to be aggressive and would not take NO word for YES. In the cause of adrenaline and the very small processing thought very often men will feel depress until the verge of crying. Some may just feel depress only. In the word insanity, men will use extreme ways to fight words of deject and rejects. Yes, I am being straightforward in mentioning insanity to men who are fighting against themselves to win a lady’s heart when she is not interested in him in the first place. Respect and self awareness should be the very good action to respond to a lady’s NO.

Ladies are often left with no choice to tell men harshly that they are not entirely interested in them in the first place. First warning is always tender. The second will be to distance herself from him if he ignored the first. The third warning will always resulting in the end of a terrible war that will mark the end of the male pursuer. Not to say that there is no turn around, sometimes magic works like in the case of a lady changed of heart to fell for the man who she rejected in the first place. Yes, there are possibilities. However, I can only say, he, that man has a true heart. Unfortunately, a lady who gives multitude of hints to reject a man is something hardly the man will be able to be her partner in the future. Just because she is not for him. That is the respect the man should give. Men should neither threaten nor force and that is very despicable act to do. Primitive era has long gone with the clubs and dragging women to their caves. With modernization and globalization, women are not leaving themselves out and is competing with men for positions and wealth. Today, men no longer faced men in workplace but including women too.

This entry only covers one small part of the iceberg to modern world relationship.



Is sky the limit… it is ok that women said no and men should be obliged to respect it

Days of Mood

Saturday is the Longest day, Sunday is the Shortest day,
Monday is the Heaviest day, Tuesday is the Slightly Better day,
Wednesday is the Dull day, Thursday is the Ever Good day
Friday is the Best day of the Days.


Is sky the limit… which is your day?

Counting Money and Unfortunate at-choo!

I had another viewing of Davinci Code for the second time. The film was still full surprisingly after 3 weeks on the cinema. Davinci Code, I must say, until now ticketing booth are selling them like hotcakes. Then on that day, my brother make something out that I always joke. I think you have read that before somewhere in blog/

In one long queue, about to reach the booth:

Me: Eh, give me your money, its RM10.
My brother: Ok, * started counting *

My brother: RM1, RM2, RM3, RM4, RM5, RM6…
Me: * Looked at him in disbelief *

Me: ok ok… I pay for you… no worries… later return... * yes, i am kiamsap! *
My brother: hehehehehe… sorry ar…

Me: dun worry… dun worry… I pay… I pay…

Then tomorrow in the first cinema after Davinci started for half an hour, it got very cold and unfortunately I was in my favorite bermuda shorts and t-shirt. Neither both of us brought any sweater nor jacket. Then all of a sudden, I got the need to sneeze so I cup my mouth.

Me: Ah ah.. Ati-Chooooooooooooooo…. * I sneeze! *

Oh poor Leonardo! My hand was filled with my mucus!

Try to imagine what you will do in my position if both of you (brother or friends) have neither tissue nor handkerchief. Plus next to you is a beautiful girl and hope she did not notice your act in disposing your mucus. Lets guess.

Remember, your hand is filled with mucus!



Is sky the limit… God Bless You!

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

World of Tulan – Part 2

Nevermind, its just business and you carried on with your other mundane office task. Lunchtime came and you were served with the usual. Everybody at the table also felt tulan because boss had issued a lame report that their sales are not doing well and restructuring may be a possibility. Tulan. You just continued on and you hope no problems from 2pm till 5:30pm. Wrong. A customer called up to complain that the product he bought yesterday is not working as expected as it was in the sales briefing. He got so tulan and cursed everyone from the company top level to the bottom level. Your boss held you responsible and you need to call up to the customer and try to leverage it. The customer shoot you maximum and you can’t just take it, you screamed and banged the phone. Everyone got up to look and even your boss. “I AM TULAN! WHAT THE F*&K!”, you cried. Everybody came over and try to console you. Your boss just looked at you and walked back to his cubicle. “Hmm… nowadays young people just do not have the patience… in my time”, your boss sighed and his olden days movie start to reel in his pathetic mind.

End of day, you felt so relieved, you happily packed home and felt the tulan feeling had subsided. Unfortunately, you just cannot believe your eyes. Your good Vios has been clamped. You parked at the wrong box. Tulan feeling again. You searched for the nearest security office and pay the fine. At that point, the security being a Myammar understand English little and is having some problem trying to catch what you were saying. You tried switching Malay and English languages with him. Finally, you gave up and drag him to your car. You pointed at that and said, “KNNMCHTNS, you clamped my car!” You indicated money and unclamped. Only he now understood, “lei chou kong lar!”. He can speaks Cantonese! So tulan you wish you just whip up a rifle and blast him off to where he came from.

Of course, you are now on your way home already. Traffic was so bad and you are now unable to move your car. Hunger pang strikes, you search your car’s glove box for some tidbits or biscuits. Yes, you do find it but it tasted so weird and soggy. It has expired. Now that bite of the big biscuit is in your mouth. Tissue box is empty and you can’t just PTUI in your car. Or even outside the car. Because you have to maintain your lady likeness. Who knows next to your car is a handsome man who is watching you doing such a unattractive way. You looked around. Ok, you are clear to do that. Once finish a called came. You were spotted by your colleague, the person you hated most in the office, and he teased you for such a disgusting person. You feel like hanging up his phone. Before doing so, maybe you will scream some profanities. You just laughed and say good bye and wish this lane would move. So embarrassed and tulan at the same time.

You reach your home and a pack of cold economy rice. While the economy rice is getting heated up in the microwave, you went into the bathroom for a dip. You slip in, smelled of lavender and its is nice and relaxing. After some time, you realize your microwave is still heating up. After some thoughts, you decided to go check out your food. Oh my god, you cried. The microwave is a broken and it won’t stop heating your poor food. Its now burnt economy rice. You cursed your day, your life for the moment, your dateless life, your pay, your loan, your scoundrel girlfriends, your boss, your company, your wan tan mee, your car, your economy food and the last, the traffic. Now you ended up with Meh G noodle. You just felt so taxed and felled asleep in the living room couch… POOOF!

It is just a dream. You finally wake up from that terrible tulan dream. You sweated and felt relieved. That is not going to happen. As you go to your toilet, you realized your toothpaste is finish and unknowingly you knocked down your favorite facial cleanser…

* Twiligh Zone music playing *

Disclaimer: This is just another story cocked up by me. It is not related to anyone or event in this particular entry. Even if it does, it is just purely coincidence and fictional.

Is sky the limit… * Twilight zone music playing *

World in Tulan – Part 1

What will you do, say if you happen to be in one of the most lousiest day, that is everyone you meet or yourself is tulan about something? Never right? Shall we create one scenario? Lets get started.

One morning, you woke up, your toothpaste has finish and you knock down your favorite facial cleanser accidentally into the toilet bowl. You felt so tulan at it. Then, as you get dressed up for work your favorite panty hose tore or your favorite pants’ zip found broken. You felt tulan again.

Fine, on your way driving to work you decided to stop at one good wan tan mee stall to take away your favorite dry wan tan mee. You walked up and fail to balance your step while crossing the small drain. You nearly fell into it. Unfortunately your high heels is broken. Now you have to limp to the stall. You tulan again. At that stall, the seller is also tulan because his daughter or son did not want to help him at the stall. He is so tulan that he cooked your wan tan mee tulan-ly and his wife also pack and look tulan-ly at you. Everyone is so tulan in the morning.

Then reaching the office, you had forgotten your ID pass and now you have to wait for another half an hour so that when the first person arrives you can go in together. Not so tulan but you can sleep in the car for the moment. Unfortunately, the parking in the basement is so hot and stuffy. You need to go up to the lobby area in hoping that the cafeteria is open. Luckily it is open but they won’t let you in because no outside food allowed. You told him you will be ordering extras. Still the Indian macha shook his head and spoke the heaviest British accent you ever heard in your life, “No, I am sorry”. You and your wan tan mee have to go. Tulan again, you just go find one place to sit, eat and wait. After half an hour, you noticed there is some small stain of wan tan mee gravy on your best blouse. You wanted scream and punch people but you need to maintain your coolness as more people are coming into the lobby to work. Immediately, you go to the nearest toilet. All bear the sign, “ROSAK”. So tulan, you just ignored it and went up.

Finally, the receptionist is there to open your door for you. You reach your cubicle to found out a virus has infected your pc reported by the technician. The virus will cause your pc to run very slow. Again, you have to wait for your emails to pop out, you reply late, you send late, you get the latest info later than everybody. Even work is slow. All due to the virus. Tulan! At least, you can claimed, “It’s the virus, you know what it will do lar.” You sighed and accept the fact that the technician working their best to looking for an antidote or tool to clean your pc. Meeting came and go without one of your ideas being accepted plus subjected to words of challenge from your peers. Tulan. You tried to shout, “what the hell do you know?! You just sit there, eat and get fat like a pig! My ideas, you asked, you reject, then you take it for your own credit! Tulan! Tulan!” However, that is so unprofessional. Tulan again.



Is sky the limit… to be continue…

Doctor very tired… long day…

Last two days, I went to the almost everybody-looked-tulan clinic:

Nurse: * tulan a bit * yeah…
Me: I want to see the MBBS sinseh… * eh ah moi smile a bit lar cam ada orang mati *

Nurse: * still tulan * ok, … * looked at me *
Me: Panel, 717, William Tulan… from *&^^&%^#%$#@$%

Nurse: * go search * ok, have a sit…

* then in the consultation room *

Doctor: * he looked a bit tired and spiritless, must be very hard at work after long hours seeing and talking to patients… * Hi…

* he nod his head a bit to indicate what is my illness *

* hmmm… I wonder if I could recommend him to read DrLiew.net to relax or maybe start blogging like our good Dr Liew *

Me: Sorethroat and some cough… started two days ago…

Doctor: Ok, I give you anti-inflammatory, some cough tablets… should be ok… * start scribbling prescription *
Me: Ok.. thanks doc…

* while waiting outside *

Nurse: * still looked tulan * Mr William… yak yak yak… blah blah…
Me: Ok… thanks…

I wonder if its because my visitation is paid by my company so they all looked tulan? No lar, I don’t think so. I think they all look tulan because of a long and hard day in the clinic today… pity pity… and I happen just to walk in at the wrong time…



Is sky the limit… doctors hard at work… clinic nurse too…

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Pisang... Pisang... Man-darin...

When I was in my early years as a freshman, I got to know so many clubs which I did not even join all of it. I’ve never thought being so active in those clubs. Except the Computer Club recommended by COM. Anyway, you’ve got the varieties and activities offered throughout your year so you won’t get bored just shagging your assignments and attending lectures. Also that year, seniors will be out in the field to grab new members. They will approach and talk to you. Moreover, there will be orientation nights to welcome new members into their orgy clubs. Being a second time entering another university after returning from Sydney, I still consider these event such an eye opener. Still, local students here are not as vocal as students from where I first started my tertiary education. Those were different and I liked it. One particular moment in my new uni and that I never forget.

One Chinese student (OCS) came over to talk to me:

OCS: Hi, ni hau, wo zhi XXXX… * extending his hand *
Me: Err… I am sorry… I don’t know how to speak mandarin… not much… but its nice to meet you!

OCS: Oh, you are a Chinese but you should know how to speak mandarin…
Me: No, I come from Kebangsaan Sekolah and I did not take the extra curricular to learn Mandarin.

OCS: Oh, you should start… maybe you can join our club and we can help you on that…
Me: Err.. no thanks… I am in a hurry… sorry… * I rush away *

OCS: Ok thanks and bye…

In another incident with my old room mate (gosh, I stayed with him for the next four years):

Fam: As a Chinese we all should know our roots, learn our culture, learn our mandarin. Mandarin will be the language being use widely in the world. Apart from that, we must understand our origin so yak yak yak… blah blah blah… yak yak yak…

Me: o_O””” ok ok… * just walk away *

Fam is a good friend now working in Kuala Lumpur and I hardly meet him after our graduation. He went his way to Penang to work while I remain in KL after my graduation all this years. Fam is a hardworking person and a very determined guy. However, he is very straightforward.

Then in one occasion in another incident, I found out that I was a banana.

Liew: Eh, you don’t speak mandarin.. you are a banana!
Me: Huh, why do you say that I am banana?

Liew: Outside yellow like Chinese but inside white like gwai lo speaking English lar…
Me: Huh… ini macam pun boleh ar? Hahahahahaha…

Liew: Hahahahahaha… you should learn a bit of mandarin so at least you can date some Chinese girls here mar… UNITEN girls here most of them speaks mandarin…
Me: Ok lar.. maybe If I wanted to know a girl in the lecture hall I shall start, “Hi my name is Wil, William. Me don’t know Mandarinnnn. Me know English and I am a banana from Australia. An Australian banana… imported and rich in potassium! What is your name? Maybe we can get fruity after this lecture… I’ve got one big banana plus two water chestnuts!”

Liew: o_O””” ok ok… hehehehe… * speechless *

Liew is a good friend working in INTEL, going to get married soon. He is very down to earth person but not as straightforward as Fam. He likes to maintain good relationship with everyone he knows. I learnt how to format PC from him…

Then in another occasion I have never seen a Bengali Indian Tiger claiming himself Chinese.

COM: I have Chinese god mother…
Me: hehehehe.. ok ok enough.. go back to your room… don’t come disturb me until dinner…

For COM this I only have to say, “You just can’t get enough out of him but if he is too much you get drunk!” Nowadays, he is busy with his own projects and helping out his brother.

All my four years in Uni, you can say that I am the ghost in the campus that not much people know my existence. Hardly active in their outings and clubbing. The place I haunted most will be the computer laboratory.



Is sky the limit… Pisang, Pisang, Pisang…

I don't know...

Do you know it is frustrated when people who ask you question and in return they told you that they do not know about your given answer. Here are some situations…

Situation 1: An uncle and his section 17.
Uncle: Excuse me, from here in Sri Damansara to section 17 how long does it take 15 minutes?
Me: Hmmm… if no traffic jam… yes. Where do you want to go?

Uncle: UTAR
Me: I see, you have to go out to the main road from here.

Uncle: I don’t know…
Me: * I don’t know how to react from his expression * Ok lar… bye!

Situation 2: Friend 1 asking for solution
Friend 1: Eh, Wil, how do you do this system?
Me: Ok, its like this, you do this, do this, connect this, do this then do that… ok?

Friend 1: I don’t know…
Me: * sigh *

Situation 3: Friend 2 asking where to this report
Friend 2: Eh, Wil, where do you get this report?
Me: The administration office.

Friend 2: Really?
Me: I just told you right? You ok ar?

Friend 2: I don’t know…
Me: * sigh – I feel like using a gun and shoot him *

I felt that the sentence “I don’t know” is misused in the above situation. Let me teach you how to use it:

Situation 1: Some one asking for direction
Ah Pek: Ekscuezz me ar brather… you know to go to Amcorp Mall ar?
Me: Sorry, I don’t know.

Situation 2: A friend asking for help
Friend 1: Hey Wil, do you know how to fix this problem?
Me: Sorry, I don’t know.

Situation 3: A friend asking if you know such and such
Friend 2: Hey Wil, do you know this material, I was wondering if you know where to get it? I saw you using it… I thought if you are holding it… then you should be able to tell me…
Me: Sorry, I don’t know… I don’t like you in the first place… don’t come near me!

Please use I don’t know when you are not sure, you really do not know about a question and you don’t want to divulge your information. Not to be used after when people give you an answer!

To answer a question with an answer given by a responder you can always use the following respond:

1. Sorry, can you repeat that… you are too fast in your answer
2. I couldn’t get what you were saying…
3. I don’t understand what you are saying…
4. Actually, your answer is different and I thought it should be…
5. Ok I understand the first part but regarding that place, how did you get there…
6. I am sorry my hearing got problem…can repeat it again but louder…
7. I am sorry I am deaf!

Is sky the limit… No, it is not. Spacemen is out there shagging!

My Elder Cousin Sister - Part 2 (Drinking)

Another conversation with elder cousin sister on drinking:

CS: Eh, I see that you hardly drink at all…
Me: I hardly drink any of those beers in clubs since last two years…

CS: What happen?
Me: That one night in Thai club, the moment I entered, I felt dizzy and those liquor I drink cause me many days of headache, plus ringing in my ears! I could breathed and those alcohol really busted me out after that. That is why I stop drinking. Now I only drink to occasion. That even is just red wine.

CS: Eh, you ni betui ka? Drink pun dah kurang and you pun tak smoke. You man ar?
Me: I am man! I still like making love with woman and grunt like a bear!

CS: o_O””” what lar…
Me: ya mar… you asked me whether I am a man mar… what does drinking and smoking got to do with me being a man?!

CS: No mar, man loves drinking and smoking… but you don’t do that!
Me: Aiya, age have catch up with me lar. How long do you want to continue to that, drinking and smoking? Until 40? Until 50? Until 60? Smoking is a no-no… but drinking you have to watch out. Your body can only take so much at certain age. Its better you are getting older to monitor your drinking habits. Be moderate or just drink to occasion… Not everybody like you lar…drink until mabuk everytime…

CS: Oooi! Shh… shh… shh…
Me: You drink Henessy and beer like water… like that… you don’t die faster but will get fatter!

CS: Oooi! Yeah yeah… I know I know…
Me: Don’t drink so much… be moderate lar… see, now you got a boyfriend, a stable job, a good earning and a good family… you want your drinking habit to kill you and let every of the thing I mention to be disappointed iszit?

CS: No lar… don’t lar…
Me: hahahahaha… at your age and you are a woman… you should watch your drinking habit… age can catch up with you pretty fast…

CS: You talked like an old man…
Me: Hai… what to do!... If you don’t watch out your health… who? Your parents ar? Even the food we take now are so oily and filled with cholesterol. Look at this Big Mac I am taking… you think no fat and cholesterol ar?

* Munch munch my Big Mac – oooh… so tasty and so good! God Damn Big Macs! *

CS: Hahahahhahahahaha… looks like everything we have are poisons...
Me: Yup… ooi.. these two nights you have been asking me this questions? You ok ar? You are a nurse… in fact a specialist nurse on kidney… why are you asking me all these questions? Lets talk about your marriage!

CS: Hehehehehehe… that one nothing to talk about lar, he is in the middle saving for a business… so talk other things lar… you ar…
Me: You ar… nothing better to do issit… go eat your Mcd Porridge lar…



Is sky the limit… drink moderately… don’t drink hard liquor as if there is no tomorrow…

My Elder Cousin Sister - Part 1 (Smoking)

Some conversation on smoking with my elder cousin sister about smoking:

CS: Eh you don’t smoke ar? Many guys smoke.
Me: No I don’t. Why do you ask?

CS: It seem strange that you don’t smoke when every guy I met smokes a lot.
Me: Well, I just don’t smoke.

CS: You go out with friends, they smoke ar?
Me: Yes, some of them…

* Generally, I don’t like people smoking in front of me. I don’t care if my boss smokes and I have to smoke to get a promotion or project. You can very well give it other person if you want me to smoke *

CS: They don’t offer it to you?
Me: No they don’t. They know I am not a smoker.

CS: Hmmm… you have any reason on your part why you are not influenced to smoke too?
Me: I don’t get the feel of wanting to smoke when I see my friends puffing but with history of bad coughs since very young. Smoking… I will think twice of it.

CS: I see…
Me: If I smoke I think I am long gone and my cough would have killed me a long time. I still remember my time in uni when all my friends, ALL, smoke non-stop. I very much hate it but I just bear with it. But they won’t smoke in my room because I told them so.

CS: I see…
Me: But there will be some who wouldn’t listen to me. There was once, a friend came to my apartment and he wants to smoke. So I politely asking him to go out and smoke; not in here. He insisted he will just smoke by the window and don’t want to go out. I was very disappointed. If you think of it, it is my apartment and I don’t like people smoking in here/ As long as your feet is in here, you better don’t smoke. Within my private sanctuary, you have to follow my rules.

CS: So what happen to the friend?
Me: He grumbly walked out and went down.

CS: Wah!
Me: But that wasn’t the end of it. At that same time, I’ve got another friend who was using the toilet. This friend is a real hardcore smoker. I’ve known him since my uni years. He loves to smoke and he smoked in my toilet. I felt so pissed off! You know, I have specifically told them not to smoke. I was so disappointed with them. One wanted to smoke in my living room and another just did it in my toilet. I seriously hate it. That toilet was filled smoke stench. I had to deodorized it and I can’t used it for three days.

CS: Wah!
Me; My lungs are not that good, you have to understand, because if my cough comes back it will be months before it stops. Therefore, I really much hate it. But there are my good friends and they should respect my home and not smoked in there.

CS: Yes, its true. No respect…
Me: If my sons and daughters smoked in the house, I will give them two tight slaps.
Me: Tell me one good reason why do you want to smoke in the first place?
CS: Friends influence, age of innocence, when everything is new and you want to try it out.

Me: Yes it is true but I don’t think youngster when it comes to smoking they don’t think twice of themselves and other people. Its good to smoke but do it in a way that you don’t harm other peoples’ health. Smoking cause cancer to the smoker themselves and second hand smoke kills too. Tell me, why do you think government and health organizations spend millions on campaign to tell people not to smoke? Because its dangerous. Yet people don’t care and carry on. Nowadays, people just don’t care and more young girls are into smoking. Yes, girls smoking looks cool but to me it is bad. Mind me, whenever I see girls smoke, it is really a turn off. Still, I have friend’s girlfriend smoking. They smoke and smoke… just like a chimney pot. You smoke ar?
CS: Hahahahaha… no lar…

Me: Don’t you dare start smoking in front of me…
CS: Nooo lar… I don’t smoke!

Me: Ok ok… hehehehehe…

My dear readers, smoking kills. Yes, you can go ahead and smoke as many sticks as you like in one day but you must remember when you come to visit me at my apartment please be warned that it is no smoking zone. Smokers who caught smoking in my apartment’s perimeter will be shot! Respect that decision of mine – no smoking in my apartment!

Is sky the limit… I think smoking should be ban!

Bloody... Bloody...

This few weeks of night out I noticed crazy people driving like rushing for their funeral.

There was this incident happen just outside MidValley. I was on crossing the fly over into PJ when this stupid car came very near behind me. It was blaring me with its bright lights. Fine, it is fine that you tail me nearly signal me to the go one side for you to pass.

TO THAT BLOODY FUCKING STUPID MOTHERFUCKER WHO OVERTAKE ME ON A SMALL LANE FLYOVER,

DO YOU BLOODY FUCKING HAVE ANY FUCKING BRAINS? YOU ARE CROSSING A BLOODY FLYOVER WITH JUST ONE BLOODY LANE FOR ONE BLOODY CAR AND IT HAS A VERY BLOODY DEEP CURVE! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO BLOODY PROVE? I WON’T MIND IF YOU BLOODY CRASH INTO THE BLOODY DIVIDER AND FELL ONTO ANOTHER BLOODY HIGHWAY BELOW. YOU CAN BLOODY DIE WHILE OVERTAKING AND FORCING MY CAR TO ONE SIDE ON THIS BLOODY FLYOVER. I DO NOT KNOW WHERE THE BLOODY HELL YOU ARE HEADING TO BUT MY BEST GUESS YOU ARE RUSHING FOR YOUR BLOODY FUNERAL. BEEPING ME IS NO USE BECAUSE YOU ONLY PROVE YOURSELF ONE BLOODY PIECE OF SHIT WHICH IS EVEN WORSE THEN A BLOODY COW DUNG! IF YOU WANT TO OVERTAKE ME, YOU CAN ALWAYS BLOODY HELL WAIT FOR ME TO GET OFF THE FUCKING FLYOVER OR YOU CAN BLOODY FLY OVER MY CAR. THEN YOU CAN BLOODY HELL GO AND DIE IN OTHER BLOODY LANE. SOME BLOODY HELL KUALA LUMPUR DRIVERS REALLY EAT SHIT IN THEIR DRIVING SKILL! WHY DON’T YOU BLOODY GO FUCK YOURSELF AND BLOODY CRASH INTO THE SEA BECAUSE YOU ARE A BLOODY DISGRACE TO THE NATION!

TO ALL OTHER FUCKING ROAD BULLIES ON THE ROAD, YOU ARE A BLOODY MOTHERFUCKER AND YOU BLOODY BETTER GO EAT SHIT!

HAM KAH CHAN, DUI NIA SING! LEI KOON CHI HUI TAU THOI AR? SEI FUN CHEONG!


I do not curse in my blog, but this time some KL drivers really pissed me off!

Is sky the limit… sei fan cheong char tou kum mai! Lei hum mai sik si tai?

Mom spearheading for me...

Being from an all boys school when I was in my primary till secondary, I am always shy in front of the other gender. Girls. Maybe I don’t have much exposure or experience talking to them and importantly being friends with them. So whenever I see a girl at that time, I will keep quiet, blush and then shy. But then girls are so playful, talkative and naughty. For me, being the boy, you must have think that I am the most naughtiest kid in school then you are wrong. I was a quiet boy and who cry all the time. The slightest prank from my friend will make me cry. One day, things took a turn, instead of being shy and always crying. I felt bolder when I went into my secondary. I approach girls whenever they are. Regardless, the waitress, the girl in the bus next to me, my piano concert partner or even sales girls in the mall.

Scene 1: Salesgirl
Me: Hi, looks like sales here are quite quiet.
Beautiful Salesgirl: Yup. What to do? Market is bad.
Me: I see. My name is William. What’s yours?
Beautiful Salesgirl: hehehehe… My name is A. Is that your mother trying out the new clothes?
Me: Yup. I am on school holiday.
Beautiful Salesgirl: I know… kids like you is very rare to follow mom buy clothes.
Me: hehehehe…

Comment: Ok, this is fine as I was like 13 only and very thin with huge spectacles. So you can imagine it how innocent I look. * Don’t laugh! *

Scene 2: Salesgirl Again
Me: Hi
Beautiful Salesgirl: Hi
Me: Can I be your friend?
Beautiful Salesgirl: You crazy?! Go away!

Comment: Ok, this is not fine if you are 20 years old and not as cute as a young kid anymore. So better think twice before someone gets panic and scream for help.

Scene 3: Salesgirl, YES, its salesgirl again
Mom: So, you want to know that salesgirl. Let me take a look at her!

* My mom walks over pretending to look at clothing then walk back *

Mom: Eh, not bad… very beautiful! Wanna give a try?
Me: No lar… just kidding. Nanti kena scolding or make police report!

Mom: Don’t worry, mom will go ask for you!
Me: o_O”””” Eh no need lar.. you gila ar…

Mom: Aiya just go there be friend mar…
Me: You don’t be crazy nanti people misunderstood you that you are trying to matchmake her with your son!

Mom: Am I? Oh yes…
Me: Damn…

Comment: No comment… my mom is open… very open…

Now that when I see a salesgirl or salesman, I just walk away. Why? I don’t want them to bug me into buying things. If my wife read this surely, my dinner’s topic will be on this until bedtime.

Well, those were the days when you are young between 13 and 21 and everything is so new and you want to know more. Young and dangerous. Fast and furious. Sometimes when I think back I felt I am so old. Life has to move on. I met my wife in a clinic and that is another story.

If you are one of those single guys out there would want to know the lady that
you always wanted to know whether its in a club or in any place. This is what
you can do for a start. It is nice and it is polite.


You can say, ”Hi, how are you?”



Is sky the limit… Hi my name is Bond, James Bond…

Maid, You've Got News!

It’s the time to celebrate for maids who are going to work in Malaysia or those who are working here currently. Laws has been passed and maids can retaliate back if their employers mistreat, abuse or take advantage on them.

Scenario 1: Employer trying to keep half of their maids’ pay
Employer: Your salary I keep half first, when you finish you contract I return everything to you.
Maid: Sorry sir, your laws required that you deposit my salary into my bank account. If not I can bring you to your makhamah! Thank you sir, here is my Bank Harimau account number.

Scenario 2: Employer abuse maid
Employer: Take this! You pig! How dare you not do chores! Take this! * slapping her with a hot steel spatula *
Maid: * Coolly avoided her employer’s attack with a single hand * Your makhamah says I can bring you to court for abuse. Thank you madam, here is my lawyer letter. I see you in court!

Scenario 3: Maid negotiating with employer before work start
Employer: So when can you start work?
Maid: I can start next week but I have a few following condition that you will need consider and put it in black and white; contract or agreement. Here is the list of condition. Thank you sir. Please you will have to make your decision today because I have another offer around this neighborhood.



Is sky the limit… if you are a maid, do you feel happy and relief?

What should i do... ? Hmmm...

Now that my wife is in Federal Territory of Labuan. If you do not know where is this place then you should look up in Google. Yes, Google provides all the answer. If you hate Google then go look up in your world map or your secondary text book Geography.

Labuan is a Federal Territory of Malaysia and it is not in West Peninsular of Malaysia but a very small island in the East of Malaysia between Sarawak and Sabah. In the map, you will only see it as a dot. Yes, its just a small island but it is surrounded by oil rigs. She will be there for two weeks and I will have so much of my time to be alone and do what I want in my apartment. Argh!!! I am starting to miss her.

Let me see what I should do while she is away:

1. Gangbang Party… ? Then we invite CEO and COM over to my place. Maybe I can tape both of them and sell it to the pirates of DVD... hehehhehehe....
2. Invite all the girls to my apartment… ? Hmmm… how much money do I have? Nah...
3. Open an all nude party in my apartment… ? Hmmm… what if all guys turn up only… no! no! no! this is out!

Nah, I don’t think so. Most probably I just eat and sleep and continue with my ANIME. I am watching Full Metal Panic (first series) and will try to complete it before she comes back. Otherwise, it will be all Korean and Japanese dramas!



Is sky the limit… what should I do? I miss you, Sayang!

Davinci, X Men III and Ian Mckellen

This two weeks I have watched two good movies. One that raise Jesus issue and another mutant issue. Of these two movies, Jesus as according to the book written by none other than popular Dan Brown to have a descendant. The latter, many main characters will die and leaving the epic of X-men to the rest. However, I was told to sit until the end of the credits to see something special. Unfortunately, I couldn’t wait to that last end of the credit. Therefore I assumed something mystery is about to happen; most probably Professor X are revived or Jean Grey returns from the dead. Still I could not just make this assumption. Most probably I will buy the DVD when it comes out to know what happen. Or, I go and ask some X-Men fans on that particularly scene.

Back to The Davinci Code, it has been rated 18PL because of its story depicting Jesus having descendent and Mary Magdalene is the holy grail that defy the Christian’s faith and belief. Pretty exciting for such a movie to come out from Hollywood despite outcry from churches who are against this movie. Malaysia’s churches has done its best to educate its members before they watch it. As far as it goes in my point of understanding, the Davinci Code movie and the book won’t affect my mind and my thinking of the Christian faith. After all, if this movie were so much giving a lot of negative influence then they should have ban the book in the beginning. Many have read it and the books are selling like hot cakes even before the movie were in the making. That is my view. Period. Ian Mckellen portrays as the Teacher who is the mastermind behind the plot to get the truth out from top members of Priory of Sion on the Holy Grail. He is a fine actor and he has shown both of his talented acting skill in both X-Men movies and the Davinci Code. However, he will still be best remember and regarded as Gandalf in the movie Lord of The Rings trilogy. I surely hope to see more of him from many genres of movies coming soon in the future.

It was really fun watching him swinging his hands to flip away convoy police cars to rescue Mystique.

Apart the movies, I must say the tickets sold are very expensive and I felt that the rates are going higher and higher with each good movies coming into Malaysia. GSC in Midvalley are selling X-Men tickets for RM12 each. Yes, you may argued, “Hey bro, its Midvalley lar… of coz its expensive lar”. Though I don’t have much concrete fact to argue that movie tickets are getting expensive but I still beg to differ that prices should vary on the cinema location. How much will the ticket cost for the new Superman Return? I will definitely compare the prices. I wonder how cinemas in Malaysia determine movie ticket’s prices?

In the lift after the Davinci Code movie:

One Ah Beng: Hey, that movie condemning Jesus ar?
Ah Beng’s Stylish and Dyed Red Hair Girlfriend: I don’t know wor…

* After the Ah Beng couple left the lift *


My wife: I think they should read the book first and understand its just fiction…
Me: Well, there are some people who, “follow the crowd, do what the crowd does”.

So much of Dan Brown’s hype for the past two weeks… I am getting sick of hearing his name everywhere I go! I need to detoxify and prepare for Superman Returns.



Is sky the limit… The grace and fall of Professor X and the X-Men

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Of dreams and PowerPoint...

Last two mornings, this was what i heard after i woke up:

Wife: Ah Sei, I dreamt I had finished my PowerPoint slides, saved and burned into a CD. Then, when I wanted to display it out from the CD…half of my slides’ images are gone… I was so frustrated and my classmates helped me till late afternoon to fix the CD…

Ah Sei: Wah, PowerPoint so jialat… eh, hold on… CD can be fix ar? How?

Wife: I don’t know… but they all fix it and I cried lar…

Ah Sei: Oh poor girl… so I decided to write an email to Microsoft or Mr. Gates.

Dear Mr Gates of Microsoft,


It is good to let you, Mr Gates, know that your good product Microsoft PowerPoint is wonderful and powerful too. People who are not oriented with the PowerPoint product manages to use it with minimal tutorial from the professionals. However, your very good product still lack one important thing that will surely make my wife more happier than ever.


Your product is giving my wife nightmares and it is a pain to see her complaining to me that she dreamt of your product giving her problem. As a result, she cried in her dreamt because of your Power Point is not Dream Safe. Dream Safe in a sense is a feature that I think of today and it can help you to improve your product in a better way and user will feel less stress and making their dream more beautiful. Dream Safe feature as I called it involves a button that will maintain all features including behaviors, objects, methods and classes of Power Point to be guaranteed in the event of transferring to another storage media. Therefore, users like my wife who has no information technology skills will dream better when they sleep.

Dream Safe feature is unique creation of mine. Dream Safe feature is my idea and I won’t mind receiving some royalty from Microsoft due to my contribution to improve your product.


Yours Sincerely,
William Wilstroth
ISTL 2006 EP 2 Management

Damn Microsoft PowerPoint for making my wife cried in her dream…



Is sky the limit… I dreamt of SAP… rox!

Guy having PMS

Being siao is one thing but feeling piss-off can be hazardous or I am just having PMS:

Me 2: Eh how is your week?
Me 1: Aiya… like that lar…

Me 2: How lar…? At least say something like syok ka, shit ka, bored ka…
Me 1: My week is full of shit… and everywhere I go I meet and talk about shit… when I sit down I see shit… then I go for lunch I eat the same shit…

Me 2: Aiya… be open and relax lar… and appreciate the days you have lar…
Me 1: You are full of shit… * punch Me 2 *

Me 3: Hey, hold it lar brother… * Me 3 hold me back from punching Me 2 *
Me 1: You get out of my way… or I punch you too…

Me 3: ok ok man… just calm down * both hands off and walk back *
Me 2: what is your problem man…?

Me 1: My problem is full of shit…
Me 3: Get a grip… what about home?

Me 1: That is where I have my solace… and peace…
Me 2: Then go home and be with your wife… make love… read books… cook… lar…

Me 1: There are things where man needs to be in the field and strive… with idiots…
Me 3: I see… what is making your blood boil?

Me 1: Seeing idiots on the road and in my field…
Me 2: Think of it as a balance lar… if everybody is smart then there will be no challenge lar… must have some idiots baru syok mar…

Me 1: … * took a butcher knife and hacked me 2 to death *
Me 3: my god! You just murdered me 2…

Me 3: What are you doing? Don’t come near me… please… have mercy!
Me 1: I’m sorry you have just witness a murder… I’m sorry… * Kabuushhhhh! *


Me 1: Now I am satisfied… and now it’s all those idiots turn…

* carry on with my field’s assignment *


is sky the limit... i feel like chopping idiots using a butcher's knife!

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Its a lady driver!... haiya!...

Again, it strike again for the second or the third time. I can remember since which entry that i had uttered, "Its a woman!". Nevertheless, my mouth never fails me.


One evening after fetching my wife and on the way home:


Me: How is your last paper?
Wife: Good... hehehehe... we can go see Davinci Code today... yeah!


Me: Yup... hopefully... we are able to buy the ticket today.
Wife: Its a must! Its my turn! Not fair every day that movie is full! Its my turn! Its my turn!


Me: ok ok...


* Then there is car overtake me and slows down *


Me: Hmmm... so slow... * I slowed down too *


* After 30 seconds or so... *


Me: Ayo... why so slow... in front no car lah...
Wife: * Happily reading Dan Brown's book *


Me: Moved lar... in front of you no car lar...
Wife: * Happily reading Dan Brown's book *


Me: No wonder its a lady! Drive so slow...


* Teng! 3... 2... 1... Kaboom *


Wife: So you have forgotten lar... you want me to repeat to you about woman... huh huh... yalar... all women drivers are slow... i know i am don't dare to drive... yak yak yak...

Me: hehehehhee... no lar no lar... i mean the lady in front lar... not all women including you. If you drive... you are the best...
Wife: that's more like it...


I swear to god... next time i must stress as "the driver" instead "its a lady"... damn... i feel that i am discriminating all the ladies.


But its a fact, some ladies drives like they are going for their last days or they are too slow like they owned the damn road.


Moreover, I don't really accept PMS being the reason for their actions on the road.


Siao!



is sky the limit... dun drive so slow lar! drivers...

Friday, May 19, 2006

Silence of the Lamb

In a random chat with Lord Jeff on my MSN message:

Lord Jeff says:new movie?
Me says:which new movie?

Me says:yes COM is the jodie foster...
Me says:kong will be the hannibal lecter

Me says:i am the director
Me says:you want to be producer?

Me says:jeeva can be the stunt manager..
Me says:we can take location in kepong...

Me says:some stunts along MRR2 and the final scene in COM's bedroom which it will be steamy...


is sky the limit... me siao!

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Kamsiap Kamsiap...

Recently, after been awarded by the department:

Thumbelina: eh, belanja lar...
Me: hmmm... i need to consider that...

Thumbelina: no need lar...
Me: I will need to decide whether to use cash or coinbox to pay for your food...

Me: roti canai kosong can ar?
Thumbelina: ok ok...

Me: Ok... 1 sen, 2 sen, 3 sen...
Thumbelina: o_O"

Me: ok ok lar... if you want... come to AMCORP Mall lar...
Thumbelina: Wah so far and expensive for one roti!!

She is kamsiap! I pay for food and drinks and she complain far and expensive. Hahahahahaha...

is sky the limit... thumbelina kamsiap!

Sudoku Fever

This few weeks I am hooked on Sudoku. Yes, that crazed 9 by 9 boxes to be filled up by numbers from 1 to 9. Its really interesting and mind challenging. You can just sit down for hours thinking to put numbers correctly into it.

Low poh: Ah sei, can ar? See… See… 8 lar…
Me: wei… wei… you do yours lar…

Low poh: hehehehehe… its already 5 minutes…
Me: wei… wei… shhh… shhh…

Low poh: * peek peek *
Low poh: Ah sei, 9 ar…

Me: * look at her – don’t know to cry or to laugh *
Low poh: ahahahahahahahaha… who ask you to do that to me in the first place!

Me: * mumbling mumbling *
Low poh: * giggle laugh laugh giggle laugh laugh *

* after one hour *

Me: Yehaaa! I’m done… low poh… I’m done… low poh…
Low poh: zzzzzzzzz * its midnight *



Is sky the limit… 9… 8… 2… 4… 1… 2… * scratch head *

Potluck Brainstorming Session

One of the longest brainstorming session for a coming potluck session:

Padme: Will, you got any idea what type of finger food I should be bringing to the coming potluck?
Me: Hmmm…

TC: * looks at us and join in *
Kerry: * giggling * yeah yeah… I also need to know… * move her chair closer *

Me: maybe you can do some spaghetti…
TC: yeah, you just boil and buy a can of spaghetti sauce and put in some chopped mushroom…

Padme: Hehehehe… difficult lar…
Me: What?! Like that you call difficult…

Padme: Ok, why don’t you make spaghetti since you said you always bring spaghetti to work…
Me: No way! My spaghetti is only for me lar… you want the whole office to try spaghetti with peanut butter sauce?

Padme, TC and Kerry: * laugh *
TC: maybe you can just bring fishball…

Padme: No lar… its too troublesome… have to boil… anything that does not need me to step into the kitchen?
TC: Hmmm…

Me: Hmmm… maybe you can go to Tesco or Carrefour to get half roasted chicken… you just take away the half and remember to ask them to chop it up.
Padme & Kerry: Wah!

Kerry: Have to put overnight can ar?
Me: Can.. you can always heat it up in the company’s microwave…

Padme: no no no… * laugh laugh *
TC: Ah… I remember Gavin make egg sandwich. Its easy. Make 4 hard boil eggs, squash it, put some salt, and spread it onto the sandwich.

Padme: Huh? Boil egg… hehehehe… ayo… I don’t want to go into the kitchen lar…
Me: Oh my god… girls nowadays are really… lazy



Padme & Kerry: What are you trying to say, William?
Me: … I mean lucky that they can wait for their husband to cook for them… * hehehehe *

TC: * laugh laugh *
Padme: yeah…

Kerry: * giggle giggle *
Me: Okay, you don’t want to go into kitchen…so lets us now gather and brainstorm what should be the best food to bring straight from the Tesco…

Padme: Tesco? Eh you got no other place to suggest is it?
TC: Aiya.. he lives near Tesco lar…. * laugh laugh *

TC: If that is the case, you can opt for sandwich…
Padme: Hmmm… ok I settle for sandwich…

Me: Ok… TC is bringing seedless grapes… Padme bringing egg sandwich… ok then…
Kerry: wait wait… me… me… not yet leh… * hands flying everywhere *

Me, TC and Padme: ok ok…
Me: How about mee goreng?

Kerry: * looked at me wanted to cry *
Me: ok ok… just joking…. How about Tesco’s roasted chicken… buy half and chop it…

Kerry: * hands flying * huh no no no…. * everybody start laughing *
Padme: Please William… no more Tesco… I am going to kill you…

TC: How about fishball… you can go to Cold Storage and buy those cold packs and you can boil it at night.
Kerry: Hmmm… go into kitchen ar?

Me: Yup… oh yeah… you rent a room…
Kerry: No no no… I can use the kitchen… but will it be difficult?

TC: Nope, just boil it and put it in the Tupperware after that…
Me: Yeah… talking about fishball… you can get some Yong Tau Foo also…

Kerry: o_O”””” argh….. no no no….
Me: ok ok… hahahahahahaha… * I like to bully Kerry *

Me: * I mimic her – I hold my jacket collar and hid my face and say no no no *
Padme: Why are you so bad, William? Leave her alone…

TC: * Laugh *
Me: hehehe… I am bad…

Me: ok lar… you can buy some M&Ms and some Nachos… mix together…
Padme: o_O”””

Padme: Ok ok William… go one side… don’t come near us…
TC: * laugh *… hold on… I think nachos will be a good idea… I think Kerry can do that… just buy some nacho sauce… eat and dip… perfect finger food…

Padme: Yeah… hmmm… ok…. William you can come back now…
Me: hehehehe… my idea cool right?

Me: Then u can just have a bowl of M&Ms on one side…
Padme & TC: * laugh *

Padme: You and your M&Ms!
Kerry: I guess Nachos and sauce wouldn’t be so bad. But, will they eat it?

Me: Don’t worry, you got TC and me… the biggest bin in the world…
Padme & Kerry: * laugh *

Me: Unless, you still consider that is troublesome… you can try bringing in durians!
TC: * laugh * Mr Oon will come looking for you!

Padme: * laugh *
Me: Or, you can try Bak Kut Teh…

Kerry: * laugh * Hasni cannot eat lar.. must be Halal…
Padme: * laugh * you can make Chic Kut Teh…

TC & Me: * laugh – Four thumbs up! *
Kerry: * giggle giggle * ok ok I bring nachos and sauce…

TC, Padme and Me: Yeah!!



Is sky the limit… girls, don’t go into your kitchen… its dangerous

Monday, May 15, 2006

Sometimes I feel like punching salesperson...

Some salespersons can be very persistent when it comes to introducing and selling their products and some have bad mouths. Still, I praised them for their bravery and patience having to be told off by customers in harsh or cold way because they need to make a living. Respect. Unfortunately, their method sometimes make me very angry and resorted to harsh and cold treatment. It is not my fault to treat salesperson badly because they asked for it. I was at this coffeeshop having my breakfast with my parents and brothers.


Salesperson: Uncle... uncle... your car use what motor oil ar? My one here very good. See this oil on the table.


* pointing to a brochure stuck on the table *


Salesperson: The wan tan mee and curry mee seller are using it. Its very good. All of them say very good. It makes your engine very clean and last longer. I am not lying to you. You can asked them.
My dad: No no, no thank you...


Salesperson: Don't believe ar? Don't worry, very cheap! See the information. No tipu wan. Try lar... the wan tan mee seller is using it.
My dad: * kept silent and everyone hoping he will walk away *


Salesperson: uncle... believe me lar... its very good... you see this oil is better than the market out there. Trust me. Its good. Its worth your money.

* Me cannot tahan anymore *


Me: No thanks, we are not interested in this.
Salesperson: You don't believe me? You will come back to me when you realize this good product.


Me: * Looked at him * I said I do not want. * Clenching my fork *
Salesperson: You will believe me one day...


* He walks away with face black and not even a word of thank you *


* After finishing my meal 15 minutes *


My dad and my mom holding me back: Leave him alone son... he is pretty bruised up already.. you beat him some more... he is going to die... leave him... don't... he is just working to earn a living... let him live...


Me: What the fuck! I say i am not interested... You bloody hell wanna pick a fight iszit... when people say no thank you and wish you to leave us alone.. your fucking face still linger on and say stupid things... Wan tan mee sellers buy your damn product... so?... ptui! I am fucking irritated by your sales talk!


No, i did not punch him in the face. Just the feeling of doing it. Its the kind of thing when people say no politely and he still stood there and talk cock to me. Yes, you have sold those oils to wan tan mee and curry mee sellers. So? I don't give a damn that your oil can fly a car or shoot up to the moon. What do you mean that i don't believe you? Yes i bloody well do not believe you. I only believe in my fulfilling my stomach after a tiring game of badminton that morning. Yes, you can make me believe in you by giving me one free sample. Otherwise, fuck you!


Its just the fact that i do not want it. Therefore, please understand the word NO. It means I am not interested in buying anything that you want to sell and i will not take my wallet and give you money. You can just walk off and try other customers.



is sky the limit... when people say NO.. just bloody hell walk away ok?

JPJ DOs and DONTs in Car Mutation...

On Sunday Star newspaper, it reported that Government are outlining guidelines on car modifications. A list of DO's and DON'T were published and car owners are to adhere to this JPJ guideline and its about time.

I agreed with this DOs and DON'Ts and i have one thing that i really do not like when car owners mutate their cars with a huge pair of dorsal fins.

I have come across many cars with that mutated feature. According to the article in the Star paper, people who cannot afford expensive cars generally modified their cars to get attention. Get attention my arse! I have seen maniacs put huge spoilers at their back of their expensive cars like BMW and those spoilers are as huge as a tail of an aeroplane. What are they trying to prove?

Do you think the BMW car can go faster than the original design by putting a huge spoiler? Boleh Terbang ar? Damn!

If my PERODUA Service Centre asked me to put spoiler:

Mekanik: Abang, mau spoiler tak? Kita ada diskaun...
Me: Spoiler? Ok... ada apa spoiler?


Mekanik: Spoiler roket ada.. spoiler kapal terbang ada... spoiler F1 ada... macam macam ada...
Me: Ok... bagi itu spoiler yang macam kat bawah kapal layar (dorsal fin of a sailing yacht) punya.. itu you letak atas tengah-tengah wa punya Kancil 660... lagi besar lagi baik... eh.. kalau boleh... ia boleh tarik masuk dan keluar... lagi best... sini ada jual nitro ar?


Mekanik: ...



is sky the limit... let's put nitro in Kancils 660!... really ngon kui!

Friday, May 05, 2006

Meh G noodle, Kang Ka ruus, little Koi la Bear…

When I was a student in Sydney I had to be careful with my expenditure. Money sent from my dad was limited and sufficiently enough for one month. If I decided, one day, to spent more then my very last week of the month is Maggie (pronounced as Meh G in Sydney) noodle for lunch and dinner. At that time it was like I wish Kmart, WalMart and Target had Cintan noodles or something that can be found in Ipoh. Unfortunately, they did not have those beloved Malaysian dry food sold in their stores.

One of my worse habit I acquire for the first four months was I had to calculate and convert each time I need to buy something. Regardless if it is food or just stationery you would see me using my mobile phone (not handphone in Sydney) to calculate the conversion.

Me: Wah, that A4 paper cost AUD2.50… hmmm let me calculate first… * mobile phone whipped out *

Me: Wah, wan tan mee cost AUD4.50… hmmm let me calculate first… * mobile phone whipped out *

Me: Wah, movie ticket cost AUD8.00… hmmm let me calculate first… * mobile phone whipped out *

Me: Wah, haircut cost AUD12.00… hmmm let me calculate first… * mobile phone whipped out *

Me: Wah, masuk Taronga Zoo cost AUD12.00… hmm let me calculate first whether its worth watching kang ka roosss… * mobile phone whipped out *

One day, my uncle just cannot tahan…

Uncle: Wah beh tahan… you calculate calculate… please mate… you will be here for three years! Lu sudah masuk tiga bulan di sini masih mau kira ka?… If you do that each time when you want to buy something… like that no need to makan and hidup anymore… just be reasonable and don’t simply spend lar… why you need to convert… money not enough then come see uncle mar… haiya uncle give lar…here here… take take… go go.. enjoy movie.. enjoy makan… anything… Like that how you can find a Aussie girlfriend here ar? Beh tahan you! Don’t know how my sister teach his son and the father also satu macam… always scare the son… yak yak yak... blah blah blah… yak yak yak…

Me: hehehehe… * taking the money * thank you uncle… * really paiseh *

By the way, my uncle is a permanent resident in Australia and he had lived in Sydney for a very long time since I was 10 years old. Now that I am already 26 years old, you can imagine how long he has been there with the kang ka ruuuusss and koi la little bears….



Is sky the limit… cute koi la bears… and kang ka roooss...

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Ultraviolet

My mind just struck. Unique idea! Perhaps Malaysia’s next haze attack we can use this type of nose filter from Ultraviolet. Let’s call it Daxus Haze Nose Filter. Malaysia Boleh!

Milla Jovovich, a beautiful and sexy actress and a real tough lady. Strong in action pack movie characters like The Fifth Element, Resident Evil 1 and 2. Unfortunately the character in her latest action movie installment is really wasted. No doubt she suits many character that portrays sexy and hard core butt kicking heroine but the movie effects has not turned out any of her core competency acting element.

Ultraviolet’s story in the first half was terrific but towards the part when she met the small boy it bores me down to slumber land. Period.

Special effects were good but not enough and the idea of her clothing changing color according to her mood and environment seems to be similar to Aeon Flux. I can’t remember if her clothing were like in Aeon Flux. This include her hair color too. I wonder when this really will happen to human. Probably when it does, I will see girls’ hair color in Bangsar start to change from bar to bar.

In the Star paper, one reviewer wrote that the bad guy Daxus’s nose looked like a salt shaker because he wore a metallic filter at his breathing hole. Truly but every time he came out I just couldn’t stop looking at his bloody nose. Why is he be the only one not wearing mask like his other henchmen? His henchmen could have worn that same salt shaker or whatever that nose filter is called. His nose just stood out in every scene. I must say that the metallic nose filter reminds me of my grandmother’s tea bag holder. Moreover, my friend Gavin also had one tea leaves filter that looked similar like it.

As a result, I will give Milla Jovovich a B but a C for the whole entire movie.

Dear god, I am giving an A to the nose filter or whatever it is called and congratulations to that person who invented that in the comic eventually brought it into the film then exposed to people like me. He ought to be hire by Malaysia as their next inventor or automobile designer.

Is sky the limit… Milla Jovovich still rocks! And a nose filter…

Car Wash... Car Wash...

Usually I wash my car once a month and yes I am lazy to wash it every weekend (hey, I still love my car and I rely on him everyday and outings). Each time I wash my car, it will take me 2 hours. I will spray, foam, spray and wipe then massage it and also give it extra services like every massage girl does upon request. Alright, I make that up. I do not massage my car. Kancil can go look for another female Kancil. Anyway, after I clean my car then it is polishing time. So at the end, I get a clean Kancil and a sweaty hot owner. Last night, I decided to put off the idea to wash Kancil on my own this coming weekend.

So I went to Mobile Petrol Station’s car wash and I planned to sit in Macdonald for a cup of hot gwai lo tea. Also, I can catch a few glimpse of chicks since my wife is not with me. (If my wife is reading this, please don’t whack me!) The moment to be alone and some chicks to look at; it’s always awesome. Unfortunately, this car wash owned by this Indian guy got his one team of washmen. I was in the car the whole process and less than 30 minutes I got a real clean Kancil.

I was like so shock (my mouth open wide) because I did not get to visit Macdonald to have my hot gwailo tea and watch girls.

First, I was asked to remain in my Kancil. Two men proceed to spray and foam Kancil. Then spray again. Second, it happened so fast that the next moment I was instructed to drive out for wiping. Okay, at this time I thought I maybe able to catch my hot gwai lo tea again and some chicks but there were 5 washmen doing wiping and vacuuming at the same time. Damn, it was so fast.

Boss: Brother that’ll be RM7.
Me: ok ok. Thanks. I did not get to have my hot gwai lo tea and watch chicks!

Boss: Don’t worry. * wink wink * Here is a refund RM2 for that.

Alright I made that up again. I was so surprise by the whole thing. Damn Fast! That evening I drove Kancil home silently. No hot gwai lo tea and no chicks to watch. I am so sad.

Is sky the limit… Fast wash.. no hot gwai lo tea and no girls to look at…

Mr Lipton and the Bitten Cup

It was night and we were waiting for the movie to start. It was a late night movie in Mid-Valley so we decided to buy some drinks from Macdonald.

Mcd Waitress: Hi, having it here or takeaway?
Me: Having it here.

Mcd Waitress: What would you like?
Me: One McFlurry Oreo and one hot Chinese tea.

Mcd Waitress: Huh?! McFlurry Oreo ok but we don’t have hot Chinese tea.
Me: * sheepishly and paiseh * hehehehehe… one hot gwailo tea.

* so we gotten our Mr. Lipton’s hot tea and McFlurry Oreo and gone up to wait *

After 15 minutes or more, I had finish my Mr. Lipton’s hot tea and wanted to have another refill because my throat was a little itchy.

Me: Hi, is it possible to just fill this cup with hot water only? You know, my throat is bad.
Mcd Waitress: ok ok, no problem. * giving me a sweet smile that will melt Ice Age 2 *

* so I handed over my cup to her *



Mcd Waitress: * she looked at my cup *
Me: * Paiseh the second time * Sorry, I loved to bite this Mcd’s plastic tea cup. Hehehe…



Mcd Waitress: o_O” … ok ok…
Me: Hehehehehe….

Nah… none of this paiseh event happen… you think I am so paiseh (embarrassing) ar?


Is sky the limit… Mr Lipton and the bitten cup.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Checking on my stats

Lately, i did a rain-check on visitor's stats and found this:

hmmm... ok...

hmmm... 40 pageviews generated? I need more tools to verify that...

is sky the limit... stats stats stats

Best Male Song Artist

Who is the best male song artist?
Andy Lau

You don’t know him? You say I am outdated? This is what I got to say to you, “Why don’t you go flush your head in the toilet bowl?” (A good quote from Michael)

Is sky the limit… Andy Lau


Tuition, Getting A's and self study

Note: Long entry on my thoughts. Don't fret or come complaining to me.

Back in my study days, I hardly heard that tuition was a requirement to get As. Nowadays, tuition centers are blooming in every state. Children no longer have their good time to play, run and cycle around the neighborhood like I did in my childhood days. Yes, children today still do that but in a more restricted area like playing PS2 in their own room, going to sport center to play their games or very most likely in the tuition centers. Today’s kid is totally than yesterday’s kid and many issues were popping out in the newspaper lately regarding Malaysia’s education.

Students who are getting as many A’s as possible and each year we noticed the number of As are growing from 7As to 15As. Does A’s really matter? Back in those days, when one obtains 6A’s was seriously really big deal because that person really studies hard for it. What if? Yes, what if one study hard and still get less than that 15A’s? What should the student do? Regret over it? I believe the numbers As only represent a certain merit in a student’s overall performance. Yes, you may get a lot of attention from the public sector particularly the media sector but when it comes to working these A’s does not matter anymore. Exams as far as to the extent to obtain a degree are just a stepping stone to working life.

My story, I never had a great achievement like those in the newspaper in my PMR years and tuition center was just a way to pass my time. At the end of PMR, I totally avoided tuition centers because I just could not concentrate. There were too many distractions and it had not helped me to improve my results. In the end, I decided to attend tuition classes based on my weakest subject. Gradually after some time in my mid form four, I had not attended tuition classes. So I was on my own towards my SPM, with a few advices from school teachers and a mentor, then my final years in the university.

Student should not rely too much on tuition center. You should rely on your own self to learn about one subject. In your later years, your skill to do research will be heavily use in your university years and working too. By that time, you will not be able to find any tuition to help you with your work and your university’s final year projects. Tuition center, in my opinion, has injected more spoon feeding viruses into the mind of already infected students. Getting extra notes or extra work should be on the responsibility of the student. Student should have the initiative to look for extra notes and practices. Tuition center should only serve as a place to give advice only. The work to get extra notes should still fall onto the student’s shoulder.

Teachers are not left out and their responsibility should not just fell onto the tuition center alone to gain profit (extra pocket money). They have an important role to play in the Malaysian education system. Please knock my head if this is not logical. A teacher shouldn’t abandon their role in the school. Otherwise, why waste one time in the school where you can teach better in tuition centers? Tell me, what is the difference between a school class and tuition class? Aren’t they the same? Both of these structures have a teacher to teach and give advice. There still have the big boards to write on. Those attending both of this are students. Read my lips, students my dear readers. Therefore, what make them so different? The notes? The material being teach is different? Else, we can all abolish the school and just setup tuition center all over in Malaysia. What makes the education system in Malaysia so wrong that student have to go to tuition center? I do not think so. I am also a student myself. I do not think that the Malaysian education is lacking. Instead, they need to improve their teacher’s mind and ways of teaching so student can be confident in their studies.


If tuition center is different from the school then it means the teaching is advance, teacher is more caring and there is more opportunity for discussion. Now let’s stop at this point and ask this question yourself, “Don’t the school teachers do this in their own class room?” If you say yes then it means student should not be attending tuition classes and everything is adequately provided in the classroom. If you say no then it means the class is big, a lot of distraction; teacher couldn’t care less, everyone is left on their own; notes and homework are given, but not taken seriously; everybody goes to tuition, its better. I rest my case. Unfortunately, my dear readers I beg to differ. Not all things subject to academic are resolving by attending tuition centers. One day, students will need to get themselves off the habit of spoon feeding and go do more study on their own. It is better for the young ones to study without spoon feeding and we will definitely see more intellectual Malaysians. Sadly, we still see spoon feeding in the university.

I am not saying tuition center is bad but I am trying to point out that it should not be rely by students so much. People should look up to school as their point of academic center to educate their children. Schools regardless if it is private or public should be more united to improve their standard and facility (teaching) to students. I just do not see why students should attend tuition centers so much. I also do not see why tuition centers should get so popular among our academic achievers. Yes, please throw the tuition centers out into the garbage bin, set the student free into the play ground, improve the teacher’s attitude and mind in the school, tell students they should not think A’s so much because there are many things that students need to understand and to learn. Why not? You fear that students without tuition centers will fail terribly and get into nasty things. Tell me my good readers, I think today’s younger generation are smarter but with a little tuning in their head I bet they could come out something more positive than us today. Things today that we see just could not be satisfy and justify with A’s and attending tuition classes.

Sincerely, how many A’s does a student determine obtain? As the years go on the number of A’s increases, how many hours of study does one really need to study to obtain that goal?



Is sky the limit… look ma, I got 20 A’s!

COM and Second Snr. COM

Second Snr. COM: Anywhere companies are the same. Old employees are just sacked and new ones are employ to replace them. Young and energetic plus cheaper. Everyone is a salesperson regardless engineer or technician. Always remember, there is no such thing as job security.
COM: There is one, geisha. Everybody loves f**king.

Me: Yeah, just become a geisha and find an old rich guy. Do him until he dies and take away all his property. Then look for another old f**k and repeat the process. Secure 100%
COM and Second Snr COM: hahahahahahahahahahaha…

Second Snr COM: But geisha still get old right?
Me: Who ask you to work until you are old? Do now and save until the right amount lar. Reach the target then say retired lar. Then on the retirement stage get a stable old man and continue with old life lar. Like that no need to worry about loneliness lar.

COM and Second Snr COM: damn…
Me: What else if you expect a secure job. Sell buttock ka, sell front part ka, sell mulut ka… everything with lubang pun boleh mar… unless you try something unique like lubang hidung or lubang telinga pun boleh… lubang bird bird… want ar?

COM and Second Snr. COM: o_O””” ok ok…


Is sky the limit… selling buttock… Buttock! Buttock! Mari! Mari! RM30 saja! Murah!

Dr's Handwriting

Yesterday evening I did not know what got into me and I asked my wife about doctor’s handwriting.

Me: Do you find it hard to read doctor’s handwriting?
Florence: No and yes, sometimes its quite difficult, different doctors write differently, sometime so small you just can’t read it, but now they are required to write everything in capital letters to overcome that. Normally, surgeons with delicate fingers will write very small.

Me: I see, eh, can show me some doctor’s handwriting ar?
Florence: * scribble scribble *

Me: Wow man, what is that?
Florence: 5D1/2NS, it means 5% gula Melaka and 0.45% garam masak.

Me: Ya kah?!
Florence: Hahahahahaha… no lar it means 5% glucose and 0.45% saline or garam.

Me: I see. What does it do?
Florence: Water for dripping into patient.

After half an hours describing bloods and types of water,

Me: …
Florence: Understood ar?

Me: err… lets just stick H20 and blood is blood. Hehehehe… * I just couldn’t comprehend all those medical terms, functions and effects.

Is sky the limit
… tulisan cacing